[deleted]
Yes, you’re gatekeeping his dream
[deleted]
Submitted 1 day ago by entity@reddthat.com to [deleted]
Comments
militaryintelligence@lemmy.world 1 day ago
ikidd@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Roy Kent here.
libra00@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
He’s here, he’s there, he’s every-fucking-where, Roy Kent!
Dagwood222@lemm.ee 1 day ago
If your asking, you probably already know the answer.
Maybe you could have said something like “A top player needs to know math, because they’ve got to do a lot of investing. they should have otehr languages, because they’ll be playing all over the world. Science and computers because…”
PeachMan@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Don’t tell him that he can’t do something. Let him figure it out on his own.
Dsklnsadog@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Sometimes you need an honest feedback, and your family should be the first one to hear. It doesn’t mean they are right, but it may save you some time.
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 1 day ago
You should support your kid, even if you’re not convinced of his chances of making it. Anything else is just going to permanently damage your relationship. The best you can do is make sure he has a plan B. If he’s good in school he’s well on his way to that, so not much to worry about.
cRazi_man@lemm.ee 1 day ago
Let him try to aim for it… As long as he doesn’t neglect his education and other opportunities them there’s no harm in giving him some years to figure this out himself the hard way.
RaptorBenn@lemmy.world 23 hours ago
Being objective and realistic = Not believing in him Why can’t you be objective and realistic about your childs feelings, obviously, even if you are right and he’s no good (which I doubt if you are saying it), you could have just made the statistical argument, “Son, while football is your dream, the chances of being sustained by it are small and you need a reliable way to survive in the world.” Anything other than telling him YOU dont think HE can do it, and if you can’t accept that, then you need to put aside your ego and seek professional expertise.
Coreidan@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I don’t think it needs to be said. He will figure it out on his own that he isn’t good enough to make it.
He will either find the drive to make the success or determine it isn’t worth it, or that it isn’t obtainable. That is just part of growing up and getting older. It’s a life experience in itself.
But to put it to bluntly at such a young age just isn’t necessary. It’s kind of dickish if you ask me. Ultimately he’s enjoying himself and having fun. Organically he will get over it and grow up. No need to do it for him and spoil the fun.
Contramuffin@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Perhaps not necessarily wrong, but people sometimes don’t like hearing the truth. I don’t agree with the other comments that you should support him - to me, that sounds like bad parenting to not at minimum set up a backup plan when things start to fall apart.
My take on this situation is that you may have to tell him in a more subtle manner. Fortunately, professional athletes are known for being notoriously competitive, where even talented people can lose out on an opportunity simply out of bad luck. This could give you a way to voice your concerns in a way that doesn’t directly imply that he’s not cut out for the job, ie “you still need to be very lucky to go pro. I was very fortunate, but we shouldn’t be counting on luck for your living. You can still try for it, but I really think you should also have some backup options if things don’t work out”
SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
You’re literally a professional and your first thought isn’t to use your own skills to coach him to get better?
entity@reddthat.com 1 day ago
[deleted]SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
Who said I haven’t?
Well you didn’t say either way in your initial post. How are people who read it supposed to just know you’ve already nurtured it? It doesn’t come off that way from the way it’s written, just so you know.
jackalope@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
Is it possible to be a pro footballer without being mega famous? How did a footballer end up on lemmy?
bitchkat@lemmy.world 1 day ago
They have something like 5 tiers of professional football in the UK. There are a lot of pros and they don’t make a lot of money.
barneypiccolo@lemm.ee 1 day ago
People like to spew their opinions on the Internet, and celebrities are - shhh, dont tell anyone - are literally people.
roserose56@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
You are not a jerk IMO! But I believe you should have done it somehow different, like tell him to try other things in case football career does not work out for him, or to always think about another career. and of course what others already said.
pineapplelover@lemm.ee 22 hours ago
Tell him he can go pro if he wins against some pros
SplashJackson@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
Maybe if he had someone coach him decently while he was growing up
Sir_Kevin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
He’ll either come to realize the truth on his own, or prove you wrong. Either way, you should support him.
cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Perhaps an unpopular opinion: no, you’re not a jerk for doing this. Steering our children onto a realistic path of reasonable success and happiness is part of our job as parents. We should pursue this gently, but it mustn’t be avoided. Parenting is hard. We won’t always get it right.
angelmountain@feddit.nl 1 day ago
Depends where you live. In America? Yes you’re a jerk because you are questioning the American “dream”. Anywhere else? As long as you explain why and support your kid in whatever choice he/she makes you’re fine.
MITM0@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Yes you are & a big one
wazzup@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Same scenario with my son years back. He loved basketball and his skinny, 5ft 8" body was not going to propell him to NBA stardom. My wife accused me of crushing my son’s spirits. I never discouraged him from the sport and went to every high school and travel ball ($$$) game where he mostly sat on the bench. He’s in his 30s now and planning a family, so the dreams are different. I don’t think I did any lasting damage.
But, would I do it the same way again? It’s nuanced to be sure. We want our children to be prepared for their futures and excel, not wash out. What I would do is look for ways to help him discover, on his own, where his real talent lies and comes to the realization himself.l and be there to soften the blow to that dream. Then, if his passion is still football, help him discover all the different career options are available, on and off the field, that can keep him close to his passion.
I hope this helps. If you’re asking, you’re likely a better dad that many out there.
Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 1 day ago
What a shitty comment. You’re bitching about spending money on your son and spending time with your (ex) wife. Someone as bitter as you probably shouldn’t be giving advice
wazzup@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
Hahaha, you’re so off the mark. Maybe you should stick to the posters problem and stay out of my business? I’m not bitter at all, on the contrary, I’m 10 years into a loving relationship and marriage, and not married to a narcissistic, cheating non-human that damaged me and our children. We’re doing our best to pick up from her lying and gas-lighting. It was meant to illustrate that those people closest to their children aren’t necessarily the best to give advice.
As far as the money goes, it was illustrating that I continued to support him monitarily despite his repeated setbacks. Despite other challenges in coordination and cognitive abilities, we worked together and he earned his Eagle in the Boy Scouts. My father didn’t show up for anything.
You’re not recognizing that I continued to support him with time and money illustrates your inability to objectively examine an issue.
Good luck.
Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Did the OP edit his post because your reply doesn’t match what he wrote at all?