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Anon might as well head over to the outpatient center, he’s ready for his colonoscopy!
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Submitted 2 years ago by MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
Comments
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
EnderMB@lemmy.world 2 years ago
As someone that has had a colonoscopy, this is basically an accurate account of what the prep is like.
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
Agreed! I hated the flavor of the prep mix too, next time I may try pickle juice.
Followed by lots and lots of clear or not-red hydrating fluids, to keep your brain working. Personally I like DripDrops mixed with a little extra plain water.
Maalus@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Screw that thing. You basically have to go immediately to the toilet, yet you cannot run upstairs or you shit yourself. Have to slow down lol
JackbyDev@programming.dev 2 years ago
The hardest my father in law laughs is at some boomer email copypasta about shitting like crazy after taking those meds that keep you for it.
A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 2 years ago
slept for 14 hours
That’s how you know it real
FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today 2 years ago
Whenever somebody’s prescription laxatives don’t work I tell them how to mix Epsom Salt into Water and drink it. Tastes awful, also works as tomato fertilizer, but it works.
Always good to follow up with a probiotic regiment and some greens because you basically nuked your gut biome.
RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 years ago
somebody’s prescription laxatives don’t work
I can’t even imagine. That shit works like anon described here.
PineRune@lemmy.world 2 years ago
This one is a classic and always pops up in my head when I’m craving pickles.
someguy3@lemmy.ca 2 years ago
Ok then.
Zoldyck@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Time to buy some pickles
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 2 years ago
Those lactic acid pickles are just too good to pass up on. I definitely would do what anon did if I had enough of them
meowMix2525@lemm.ee 2 years ago
Hydrochloric acid. Lactic acid is the one that makes your muscles sore after straining them.
Stern@lemmy.world 2 years ago
MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
That’s my second favorite pickle surprise!
g0d0fm15ch13f@lemmy.world 2 years ago
The intro to this being “tell me about it” is fucking priceless
Varyk@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
This is one of my case studies for not being able to shut up about the benefits of bidets.
toothpaste_sandwich@feddit.nl 2 years ago
I dunno. With diarrhea like this? I find the water stream starts hurting after not too much time. Maybe my bidet is just cheap, though.
Varyk@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
Could be. There are several types of bidets, and I heartily recommend an adjustable handheld bidet.
Goodbye capsaicin
You know exactly where that water is going
You can adjust the pressure at will.
it costs the same to get the adjustable nozzle and I don’t know why people buy the non-adjustable nozzle.
There are other reasons, but you probably don’t need to hear them, the first 4 should be enough. Any messy #2 is made better with a bidet
TragicNotCute@lemmy.world 2 years ago
I’ve got a heated one with adjustable pressure but even so I agree with you. After too much, the water starts to hurt a bit. I think the important context is that it doesn’t even begin to hurt like wiping your ass for the 7th time that day.
Bidet is life.
Maalus@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Learn from the Romans, wipe a little, then use a wet sponge to wash yourself down there. Helps a lot with this issue and you feel clean
ameancow@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Traveling across Southeast Asia I stayed in a hotel that had a beautiful bathroom with a glass wall, a private garden view, big open floorplan, comfortable toilet with a bidet and several settings with warm water.
I thought “Hmn a bidet? I’ve heard of them, but are they really useful?”
That day I contracted something, being nearly impossible to avoid all local water sources and contamination when going out to eat, etc. My white ass was like, tender, delectable vittles for the Asian digestive diseases. I spent the rest of my stay there running to the toilet every 10 minutes and that bidet was the giant, silver lining on all of it, if I had to use cheap-ass paper (or cheap ass-paper) I would have sanded my ass clear off after the first day.
Varyk@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
Exactly , exactly.
If you have a stomach bug, you can either rip away your tender lower lining with each successive dry fibrous bloodied wipe, or gently wash away the mess as many times as it takes for your stomach to settle.
Also, you’ll never have to scratch an itch down there again.
Use a bidet, and you realize that you only get itchy down there because it isn’t clean.