Story of Job is basically
Satan: bet that guy wouldn’t worship you anymore if you ruined his life
God: Totally would, watch me kill his whole family
They are both on team asshole
Comment on Anon fucks up
Kolanaki@yiffit.net 5 months ago
Satan is actually the good one; God just talked a bunch of shit and lied about how cool he was and how bad Satan was to pick up chicks worshippers.
chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 months ago
Flax_vert@feddit.uk 5 months ago
You forgot the bit where it was actually satan who ruined his life 😒
Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 5 months ago
You forgot the bit where god literally destroys everything the man ever had and owned. Oh but it is alright because god gave him a new family and other stuff after that. What if Job said fuck you god you don’t exist, after being left with nothing? Would god have just fucking smitten him where he stood or what? The story only works because Job keeps his faith but that does not absolve god of all the shit he did to Job.
prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 5 months ago
BUT when you realize it’s an allegory for “keeping strong and continuing to work through adversity instead of giving up” and the mystical beings were made up to help the story … much like the snake that licks the file in aesops tales … it makes sense.
chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 months ago
Well my point is that Satan is kind of awful too anyways. He is not exactly in opposition to the terrible things God is doing in the Bible.
psud@aussie.zone 5 months ago
Lucifer is cast as the villain. Of course he’s shown as bad. What’s incredible is that he’s not shown as significantly more bad than Yahweh
Sabata11792@ani.social 5 months ago
Satan has death metal and titties. What’s not to like?
dohpaz42@lemmy.world 5 months ago
Found Elon Musk’s alt account!
seathru@lemmy.sdf.org 5 months ago
God had a pretty impressive kill count
Satan’s was what? A dozen at most?
Pheta@fedia.io 5 months ago
Pretty sure divinity isn't a killstreak.
psud@aussie.zone 5 months ago
I’m glad He’s imaginary. I mean I have burnt incense. Didn’t realise doing so carried a death penalty according to the Bible. I just thought it smelled nice
Bonsoir@lemmy.ca 5 months ago
Technically, Satan is a creation of God. Otherwise christianism would be polytheistic.
prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 5 months ago
Christianity is has almost always been so dangerously close to polytheism that it’s laughable it isn’t considered to be.
It’s just bureaucracy at this point, I guess it’s not polytheism if you lower everyone to “middle manager god”
talentedkiwi@sh.itjust.works 5 months ago
samus12345@lemmy.world 5 months ago
Yeah, that’s pretty much what it is. Father, Son, Holy Spirit, Satan, but it’s “monotheistic”. Uh-huh, sure.
FreakinSteve@lemmy.world 5 months ago
In the story of the Tree of Knowledge, the serpent old the truth while god lied.
Between the two of them, only God kills in the bible, and boy he does it a LOT
samus12345@lemmy.world 5 months ago
Not even technically, just 100% that. God created the angels, Lucifer is an angel. In practice, many Christians practice a polytheistic religion in which Satan is the bad god.
blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 5 months ago
m.youtube.com/watch?v=z8j3HvmgpYc Satan’s guide to the Bible.
dohpaz42@lemmy.world 5 months ago
Satan welcomes all people, from all walks of life, with open arms. God is a bigot who only accepts certain people, if they’re “good enough”. It’s also my understanding that God killed over 2-million people, while satan only killed 10.
Tell me how God loves me unconditionally again?
user224@lemmy.sdf.org 5 months ago
And also God apparently has so much power he could fix everything in this world with little effort. But no, he specifically creates it. God created all there is, including all the bad stuff. Murders? Rapists? Slave owners? …? Yep. But, “Do not question God’s intentions. He works in mysterious ways.”
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 5 months ago
And botflies. Don’t forget botflies.
samus12345@lemmy.world 5 months ago
All things dull and ugly,
All creatures short and squat,
All things rude and nasty,
The Lord God made the lot.
Each little snake that poisons,
Each little wasp that stings,
He made their brutish venom.
He made their horrid wings.
All things sick and cancerous,
All evil great and small,
All things foul and dangerous,
The Lord God made them all.
Each nasty little hornet,
Each beastly little squid
Who made the spiky urchin?
Who made the sharks? He did!
All things scabbed and ulcerous,
All pox both great and small,
Putrid, foul and gangrenous,
The Lord God made them all.
Amen!
mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works 5 months ago
He also kills defenseless babies before they can be baptized. And if life begins at conception, why is God pubishing babies by killing them in the womb (aka stillborn)? Why do they deserve to be stuck in purgatory when they are innocent?
Flax_vert@feddit.uk 5 months ago
If God only accepts certain people, then why did He die for everybody?
prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 5 months ago
Christ alive this is a loaded ask.
The New Testament was a new promise that was to change god from his old vengeful ways to his new ways.
Now, why did “he” die for everybody? He didn’t. Jesus was crucified, theoretically (as there is no actual proof of the event, just people talking about it later and that being deemed “good enough”), for treason.
The story is “this time god sacrificed his child for you” as a “ok we’re even now let’s stop and now I’m a good guy” PR campaign.
None of it is real and the points are made up.
Bonsoir@lemmy.ca 5 months ago
The belief in a hell or in a Limbo kind of prove that paradise is not for everyone. Depends which dogmas you grew up with, at this point.
About God being sacrificed to himself, it was mainly a way to stop an old tradition of sacrificing goats every year in order to atone for sins. Now people can just say that the Christ already died for that, so they don’t have to act like barbarians and kill poor animals.
Flax_vert@feddit.uk 5 months ago
The offer is for everyone, people choose whether or not to take Him up on it