Pretty much the stance I had with an ex-girlfriend who was bi. I didn’t care who she slept with before me or who she slept with after me, so long as she wasn’t sleeping with someone else while we were together.
Comment on WaPo IRL
yesman@lemmy.world 12 hours ago
If the marriage is sexually exclusive, why would you care? If the marriage was open, why would you care? If you’re worried about infidelity, then what gender they might choose still seems like a trivial issue.
GreyEyedGhost@piefed.ca 6 hours ago
jdr@lemmy.ml 8 hours ago
It does hurt the odds though, double the chances to cheat.
antonim@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
Please rethink the math here. Consider actual human population.
jdr@lemmy.ml 1 hour ago
Could you explain it please?
antonim@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
Imagine a group of 10 people. 5 men, 5 women. There’s one bisexual guy who’s in a relationship with a woman. Realistically, how many people can he cheat with?
TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today 6 hours ago
If the only reason you don’t cheat is because of the lack of opportunities… Then you’re not just a bad person, but you’re probably ugly as fuck as well.
jdr@lemmy.ml 2 hours ago
Do you think such people don’t exist?
webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 11 hours ago
Sexuality seems like a thing to have discussed before you arrange a marriage.
Its different if someone has not realized or accepted their queerness and comes out years later. But right after the honeymoon feels nasty. Its the kind of move a manipulator uses, omit telling information that could cause others to make different choices then those that align.
I’d wonder what other secrets there are.
SayJess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 hours ago
There’s a stigma around bisexuals, that they are promiscuous. I did not tell my ex that I was bi at all, because she and I were exclusive the whole time we were together. It was years after our divorce that I came out as trans.
I was so worried that she would have rejected me if she knew that about me. I was happy with our life we had together, and I never strayed, so why should I have to disclose that if I don’t want to?
Axolotl_cpp@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 hours ago
I don’t understand what difference there is for the wife, someone please explain to me why she(or anyone!) would care about her husband being bisexual vs hetero.
webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 3 hours ago
The fact itself shouldn’t.
Not being open about yourself till just after marriage is what’s bothering.
Granted marriage culture has changed alot but surely the idea is still to unite with someone for hopefully the rest of their life.
If one has reservations and arent comfortable to be open about things that is valid but then work on that before devoting yourself to another.
Axolotl_cpp@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 hours ago
You make it sound easy, it’s often something you are not able to understand easly you cannot just “work on that before devoting yourself” if you do not know about you being that in principle. Also, talking about is often harder than it seems, especially because bisexuals are also very judged in the LGBT community itself, i have some bisexual frienda and, oh man how many times i heard them not being sure anymore if they were actually bisexual or not, some even thought they were pretending (they were not)
Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 hours ago
If your partner not being 100% hetero is a dealbreaker for someone they should maybe ask about it before marriage? Although in this case it wouldn’t have helped, since the sender says her husband says he didn’t know until then (while calling him a liar). Sometimes people don’t understand their sexuality until later in life, I dunno what to tell you.
webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 4 hours ago
If its a dealbreaker then it feels like a red flag. Do you want to spend your life with a person that doesnt accept you fully as you are?
Youre also supposed to kinds have figured out yourself by the time of marriage. Ofc people can be stuck in the closet for years but just after the honeymoon?
I guess its possible but what events even aspired to suddenly be so sure?
Slightly related i have a theory that all mammals are biosexual by nature with a common hetero preference on top. Its well studied in animals, there are also infinite tales of life with gender separation (monks, soldiers, prison). For many hetero, its not gay if there are no women available.
hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 hours ago
I don’t really understand what the difference there would be a spouse, if their other half is het or bi. What should matter is that they chose you