Comment on How to move a sofa
yuurei@sh.itjust.works 6 days ago
As a Japanese person, my first reaction was, “That sounds exhausting.” I’m genuinely curious, though. Is this something most Americans enjoy, or is it one of those social expectations that not everyone is actually comfortable with?
Yeah, this is really normal. It’s one of the rare things that I absolutely, genuinely like about my country. If someone says they need help, even a total stranger, you help them.
The good Americans are pretty free with their labor when it comes to their neighbors, and the definition of ‘neighbor’ is pretty loose. If I met you five minutes ago, you need help with something, and we live in the same city, you’re my neighbor.
On the total stranger thing: last time I moved we got everything in except for a mattress. There were three of us and we couldn’t get it up the stairs. Some random man was walking by and saw us, offered to help and then just hauled the mattress up the stairs by himself and was like “have a good one” and carried on with his day lol.
100% this, if anyone needs my help and I don’t have a conflict. I’ll help.
Definitely not something I’ve heard of. This is either very old school America (50-80s) or something done in very small towns where everyone knows one another.
That said, this is definiely something I know friends would do for each other. Truck or not. You have some boys over to help move some stuff around, you cook or grab food for them an pay the bill. But you gotta be pretty good friends for me to call you up like that (or vice versa).
Your comment resonates with me.
I think that Kevin and Tony probably don’t even think about this, they lived their entire live that way. They don’t know any better.
Here in Germany, if you want to move a sofa, you have three options:
Rent a transporter (no one here has a truck), park it illegally in front of the house while onloading the sofa, transport the sofa, park the car again illegally while unloading it. If the police catches you or a neighbor files a complain, you may have to pay a fee.
File a form so that someone puts up traffic signs for that day that no one except you may park in front of the two houses. Costs around 90 € and takes 3 weeks. Rent car, proceed as usual. Someone will see that you park in a “no parking” zone and does not know that you requested that zone, so he will file a report. Therefore, later, fill some more forms to battle that claim.
Do 1) at night where no one sees you or cares.
TBH: In most cases you simply park in plain daylight somewhere near your flat, chuck the sofa in the transporter and drive away. There is no risk of some parking officer catching you and even if, the fines are low.
That’s interesting. I always thought Europe was more relaxed about things like that. In Japan, at least, you’re generally allowed to stop temporarily while loading or unloading furniture, so this surprised me.
Parent comment was about Germany, so no not really. The Germans (including the whole DACH area) are as much fun as the Japanese. Although when it comes to car it’s more or less free for all
Yes, no-parking areas allow un/loading. Some mainly foot traffic streets may restrict it to early morning hours.
That’s probably because japanese residental streets are often very narrow. At least that’s how it is in the animes.
That’s true. Japanese residential streets really are that narrow, if not narrower. You could argue that’s why parking enforcement is necessary, but if the police ticketed every car that stopped briefly to load or unload furniture, nothing would get done. Long-term parking is another matter, but a temporary stop like that usually isn’t something people worry about getting fined for in Japan.
In Philly you stop wherever you are and do whatever you’re going to do.
It’s not unexpected to find people just parked in a lane blocking traffic while they unload.
For me too sometimes, but this is what it takes to build a community.
Your plans may suddenly take a turn, but in exchange, you get helping hands for whatever you need to do.
It feels like something that has been lost in today’s society, and unfortunately, it seems difficult to regain it at this point. I don’t know where this difference came from.
This is pretty much how it works in Canada too. It can be a bit of a pain (especially if someone is moving in winter) but it’s just one of those camaraderie things you do. If you’re gonna move you let your friend group know, and you can pretty much rely on about 60-75% of them showing up to help, and in return you feed and beer them. Then when someone else is moving you do the same for them.
If you have a good excuse you can sometimes skip one, but if you never show up (especially if other people have already helped you move) that’s very bad. Nobody will say anything, but the group remembers.
Enjoyment is not in the act itself. Enjoyment comes from the appreciation of your fellow citizen who needed a thing moved that they were unable to move without help… And pizza.
I don’t find it uncomfortable. You’re there to do a job, you do it, you get your pizza and the appreciation of your fellow human, you go home.
You’re there for a purpose. People want you there for that purpose. You might not be good at it, but you’re there and that’s the important part. At the end of the day, the thing is done.
It’s a social contract, and it’s not exclusive to guys.
If you empathize with having to move a heavy sofa up several flights of stairs with only two people, you help move a stranger’s sofa. There’s no enjoyment. It sucks for everyone. People get hurt and bump around and say, “sorry” and “ow” a lot. That’s what the pizza/beer is for.
Even if you’re moving it at 9:00 am, you crack a beer when you’re done. It’s more volunteer work than civic duty, but it feels more rewarding than a shift at the food bank.
Source: I volunteer for the food bank.
It’s one of those social expectations not everyone is comfortable with. I think it comes from a good place though. It’s essentially community sourced mutual aid. For lack of, you know, easy access to aid from society as a whole.
This was the norm when I was young. Comfort with the situation varied, of course. But, to refuse would be more uncomfortable.
And how it’s done in Japan if friends don’t help?
We pay professionals to move it. It cost about 50$ - 100$.
If you know a guy with a truck, and you know another guy who needs a guy with a truck, you wouldn’t connect them?
As an another Japanese person, i just felt this story is really wholesome and how humanity in general should be like.
I agree that this story depicts one of the beautiful aspects of human nature. It also sheds light on what has been lost in the process of modernization.
However, when I actually try to imagine myself living in that society, I don’t feel like I could survive in it. I guess it’s a typical Japanese response.
Reading the comments made me realize a couple of things.
When I said it sounded “exhausting,” I wasn’t really talking about the physical work of moving the sofa. I meant the effort of maintaining the relationships behind it. In many cases, the pizza isn’t really the reward. From a Japanese perspective, sharing a meal with someone can actually feel like the more demanding part unless you’re very close. Sometimes, even with close friends, it can feel like a bit of an obligation.
I think we have a different idea of what “neighbors” and “friends” mean. For many people in Japan today, neighbors are essentially strangers. There are probably still rural communities where neighbors help each other, but that’s much less common in cities. As for friends, we generally don’t rely on them for everyday necessities. Of course we’re happy to help our friends when they need it, but friendship itself isn’t expected to function as part of the infrastructure of daily life. We don’t stay friends because we need each other. We stay friends because we enjoy each other’s company.
I have friends and family members that are willing to do tasks like this. They accept cash. They also get invited to gatherings.
Maybe a vestige from the colonial days?
PlaidBaron@lemmy.world 5 days ago
This phenomenon is the same here in Canada so I will pitch in. It is not enjoyed. It is not hated. It merely is. When a neighbour needs help, you help them. Even if its the neighbour with the yappy dog. There is no emotion tied up in it one way or another. Its just the right thing to do.
Techranger@infosec.pub 5 days ago
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