take out a smaller loan to bribe the person who appeoves the loans
lath@piefed.social 3 days ago
Loan was not approved. What now?
starchylemming@lemmy.world 3 days ago
gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
Brute force loan application: Keep trying random identities until one goes through.
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 3 days ago
pulls out minigun from payday 2
loam approved
😎
Zwiebel@feddit.org 2 days ago
Employee is a nerd who knows you don’t have the power cable plugged in
Loan declined
Rothe@piefed.social 3 days ago
Be a billionaire of course. This only works if you are rich.
vane@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Please dad. It’s for good cause.
ashenone@lemmy.ml 3 days ago
Set the bank on fire and try the next one
notabot@piefed.social 3 days ago
Set up a shell company. Set up a trust somewhere with no capital gain tax. Shift ownership of the shell to the trust. As the shell, come to an agreement in principal with the bank to buy it. Use this as colateral to raise a loan from the bank for the purchase amount. Transfer the debt to the bank as part of the merger with the shell company. The bank now basically owes itself to itself. Sell the combined company from the trust, thus avoiding capital gain tax.
merc@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
I assume this would go as well as Gamestop trying to buy Ebay.
pez@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 days ago
That was no typo. Gonna use that principal like a tauntaun.