Idk man, fucking a bar of soap, clearly on the reg , and leaving it for the world to see is a bit different. Plus I feel like most dildo users have the presence of mind to put that shit up when they’re done.
Comment on I know it's one of you guys
ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I know it’s a joke but if this was a man posting a dildo with the same text he’d get flamed
Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world 6 months ago
shalafi@lemmy.world 6 months ago
That was made that way for the joke. How would you even begin fucking a flat bar of soap? Even pre-drilled, it would wear out too fast to be any fun.
Don’t use conditioner guys!!!
For the 4th time (I’m an idiot) I got serious dick issues. Don’t know if it dries the skin out or what, but the end gets hypersensitive, turns dark red, skin turns black and peels off, hurts like hell, and then you get nice, new pink skin. It’s painful and revolting and takes about a week for the whole process.
Thought was just me until I saw a reddit post a few months back. LOTS of dudes experiencing the same exact thing.
Don’t use conditioner guys!!!
GBU_28@lemm.ee 6 months ago
What in the bed bath and beyond is this shit
MadBob@feddit.nl 6 months ago
Would you mind choosing a verb other than “use” so I know what in God’s name I shouldn’t be doing with conditioner?
shalafi@lemmy.world 6 months ago
If the context didn’t provide, I meant jacking off. Paddling the pink canoe. Abusing the wicked stick. Battling the purple-headed yogurt slinger. Shaking hands with the milkman. Boxing the one-eyed champ. Taking the self-guided tour.
HerbalGamer@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
Are you sure that’s conditioner and not bleach?
dingus@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Even if you accidentally use conditioner instead of lube, there’s no way it will make the skin of your dick turn black and fall off.
Unless two things are actually happening.
-
You’re using the lube to fuck sandpaper
-
You’ve confused conditioner with something like lye or hydrochloric acid
-
MrGG@lemmy.ca 6 months ago
This is the kind of wholesome informative content I come to Lemmy for. Thank you for your service, sir!
Actually, wait, I have a question. How did your ball-hair feel aftwards? Did it help with testicular split ends?
shalafi@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Ball hair is mostly nonexistent. But here come more conditioner tips!
Decided to get nice and clean for my ex-wife. Showered and used a little conditioner on the meat puppet. She stuck it in her mouth and made a face. “Tastes like shampoo!”
That woman could pop the balloon on the sexiest of times. Ever had a lover so tacky as to complain, in the moment?! Not like, “Move a little.”, or “Ouch, not like that.” More like… Know what? Not gonna relive that foul woman.
ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 6 months ago
My ex would disagree as she’d leave hers lying out even when we had company over.
We were both also very mental unwell so that could be a part of it
garbagebagel@lemmy.world 6 months ago
When my sister and I lived with my parents our shower broke for a bit so we had to use my parents’ shower for a few days. Guess who forgot to take their dildo out of there… It was my sister not me but lucky for her and unlucky for me, my parents never clarified so they’ll just think what they will.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 6 months ago
If this were a woman posting a dildo she’d get flamed. Use sex toys all you want, but don’t fuck soap, it’s ironically unsanitary
ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I’ve covered that aspect already in other comment chains.
Also this picture is clearly a joke. You wouldn’t be able to actually use that to masturbate as the hole would grow rapidly. You’d have to lather your hands first using either bar or liquid soap.
Yeah jamming your dick into a solid bar of soap is gonna cause a lot of issues. The one I’d imagine being the first to worry about is your dick getting bruised cause bar soap ain’t exactly soft
Death_Equity@lemmy.world 6 months ago
What if you make the hole and then soapy fidget spinner?
HerbalGamer@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
Now we’re getting somewhere.
scottywh@lemmy.world 6 months ago
A shower dildo left there to be found? No… that’d be fuckin weird too
Ledivin@lemmy.world 6 months ago
If it was a dildo sculpted out of soap, we’d have the exact same replies as here.
Sprucie@feddit.uk 6 months ago
If it was a bar of soap moulded into a cock though we’d probably be seeing a pretty similar post
ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Rubbing soap on your dick is safe though.
Sticking soap up your snizz is how you get an infection.
MJKee9@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Rubbing soap on any part of your body in a way that simulates sex is not “safe”… Especially if that area is your junk.
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
Because of Satan?
ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I don’t see how masturbating with soap has any increased risk of soap in the urethra than normal washing. Especially when you wash yourself everyday. It would also matter on how often you do it. If you’re jerking it with soap every time you jerk it yeah you increase the likelihood but if it’s a once in a while thing it would be a negligible increase in odds.
I can’t believe I just put that much thought into jerking it with soap.
baduhai@sopuli.xyz 6 months ago
It would be pretty impressive, though.
saigot@lemmy.ca 6 months ago
Dildo shampoo bottles are relatively commonplace though.