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• dharmacurious@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  As a child, I loved seagulls. One year, for my birthday, my mom got us a beach front hotel for 2 weeks (it may also have been a trial separation from my dad, I don’t remember) It was amazing. My birthday is in the winter, so not only was it super cheap, but I got to see snow on the beach, and there was no one else, so the beach wasn’t crowded. I would feed the seagulls for hours.

  One day, I decided to up the game. There was a little burger place that would give me free fries to feed the gulls, because they cooked them in batches, and ended up tossing a lot.

  So, I get my 5 gallons of fries or so, and I go to our hotel room on the 4th floor, and stand on the balcony and feed the gulls.

  Then the phone rings, and I go into the room to answer it, bringing with me the fries (cause I’m like 9 years old, and I don’t want the gulls to eat them all while I’m not there to watch). I answer the phone and then turn around to see that I have left the balcony doors open, and now there are approximately 100 billion seagulls swarming into the hotel room.

  Slammed the phone down, and bolted for the balcony, forcing my way through a squawking, squalling, shrieking solid wall of gulls as they snapped at me, scratched at me with their claws (did you know they had claws? I didn’t!), and generally caused mayhem and havoc the likes of which no hotel room has seen since the era of big haired rock stars.

  Luckily, fry bucket in hand, they mostly followed me out and ate the fries I flung off the balcony, most of which got eaten before ever touching the ground.

  My mom came back to the room a few hours later to find me cleaning up gull shit off of basically ever surface, covered in scratches and bruises, bleeding on basically every exposed inch of my body.

  As a child, I loved seagulls.

  I still fucking do. They’re my spirit animal. I love gulls. I strive to be a gull. If I were a furry, I’d be a fucking gull furry (feathery? Are their bird furries?)

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  • Infernal_pizza@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Is this a copypasta or something that actually happened to you?

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    • dharmacurious@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      No, that genuinely happened to me. Virginia Beach, early 2000s lol

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    • jve@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Is this a copypasta

      Is now! yoink

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  • Malica@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You have improved my day measurably

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  • Rooskie91@discuss.online ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Goddamn that was worth the read.

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  • HopeOfTheGunblade@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I feel like you have probably read Jonathan Livingston Seagull, but if you have not, I predict you want to have.

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    • dharmacurious@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I have not! I’ll look it up! 🙂

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• gnufuu@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Both the photo and this comment section have been brought to you by cocaine, probably.

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• SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Me, peeking at the comment section:

  Image

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• CheesyFingers@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Please don’t feed bread to birds.

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  • Hinterwalder@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Voer eenden geen brood, gaarvan gaan ze dood.

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• testfactor@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Seems like a good way to lose an eye, lol.

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  • bampop@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Once they’ve figured out there’s soft meat on that thing, I doubt they’d stop at one eye

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  • Jessica@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Alternatively a good way to get shit on

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• lunar17@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Being swarmed by seagulls is an experience I can live without

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• AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  That’s one way to die, I guess.

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• daggermoon@piefed.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Buying things is easy. Experiences, not so.

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• BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  This shit better not be AI

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• MacNCheezus@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  This but how about good experiences

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• MacDuff@ani.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Damn I’m not prwpared

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  • UninterestingVoid@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    what did you even do to get all comments removed lol.

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    • UninterestingVoid@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      actually im not sure if i wamna know

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• MacDuff@ani.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Who would do this?

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• MacDuff@ani.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Dumb peckers

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• MacDuff@ani.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  People can’t get enough of me

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• MacDuff@ani.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Is this enough shitposts no ok more

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• MacDuff@ani.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Mind you no slowing down like

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• MacDuff@ani.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Shitposts is worse than my last havk

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• MacDuff@ani.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Wow

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• MacDuff@ani.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Do do do do DO DO

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• MacDuff@ani.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I’m not going anywhere mind

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• MacDuff@ani.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Ok have to generate some new ai shit for tomorrow nitr

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• MacDuff@ani.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Why?

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  • snoons@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    pecks at comments like a hungry seagull

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    • MacDuff@ani.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I’m shore that’s what you do, you probably pech at other stuff harder also

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• sundray@lemmus.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  What a lovely day.

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