Do women actually enjoy sex?

Submitted ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨IEatCeleryAt7Degrees@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

I tried making a Reddit account and it asked me to build karma before I could ask on any of the relevant subs so I’m posting here.

I can personally say that if anything goes up there, it hurts, and not in a good way. It does not feel pleasurable at all. It feels kind of like placing a finger on an open sore.

Also, if you’re being examined, they tell you to take deep breaths, as if they know that anything going up is going to be painful. If sex is supposed to be pleasurable and enjoyable, why would doctors tell you to brace for impact, so to speak?

Lastly, women often scream during sex. It’s often said they’re screaming out of pleasure and not pain. But there are a lot of things I find extremely pleasurable, but I don’t scream while I do them.

Is it just one of those things that is painful but we’re conditioned into believing the pain is actually pleasure? I’m confused.

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fatcat@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
I swear I saw exactly that post a few weeks ago…

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- ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  Permanently deleted now. lemmy.world/post/48620112
  
  Comments can still be found on users’ pages, search for “vaginismus” for example
  
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- pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  Same
  
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Akasazh@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
Have you had pleasure from other types of stimulation, other than penetrative?

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Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
The one’s that have slept with me seemed to. 🤷‍♂️

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Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
I have said since I was a teenager, that women do not enjoy sex nearly as much as men.

Now that I’m older, it’s gone from being sn observation, to understsnding why.

When men have sex, there’s no downside, and it’s easily the best thing we’ll do all day.

When women have sex, they do enjoy it. But they have so many things to worry about. Are they going to get pregnant? Does this guy have a wife? Is he going to hurt me? Is he just using me?

Those are all things women have to think about with sex. Men don’t.

I know I’ve never been worried about if a woman is just using me. It would actually probably be pretty easy come to think about it. If a woman wanted to just use me for sex? Like she just wanted to handcuff me to the bed, and sit on my face? It would probably be really easy for a 110lbs 5’2 woman to overpower 6’0 250lbs me. She could easily overpower me, and handcuff me to the bed. And if she doesn’t have handcuffs…I could bring some…

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- IIII@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  Men have to worry about pregnancy too. If a man gets a woman pregnant, it’s ultimately her choice whether to keep the baby or not, so the risk is she would want to keep it and you gotta help raise the kid or pay child support.
  
  It sounds like you’re coming from a perspective of women only having one night stands. In a loving long term relationship, I hope that the answer to questions like “does this guy have a wife”, “is he going to hurt me” or “is he just using me” would all be no.
  
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  - Meatwagon@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Nah he’s right on the first part. I enjoy sex and would do it more if I didn’t have to deal with all the bullshit being AFAB brings.
    
    Pregnancy. Its a huge deal. Even abortion is a huge deal. Abortions hurt. You have to get the meds. Its illegal in my state. The meds can fail then you have to have surgery.
    
    Birth control. A fucking pain to take daily at the same time plus if you react bad to it oh well.
    
    UTIs. I can’t have sex without getting a UTI. There is literally nothing that can be done about this other than take an antibiotic everytime I have sex. I have tried everything else.
    
    Periods. You’re going to stain your sheets\towels. Don’t forget to take your tampon out.
    
    There is no fun and flippant sex when you have an innie instead of an outtie, there is always baggage.
    
    If I had a dick I’d be having so much more sex.
    
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- ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  Yes, distress can reduce pleasure. However, there are safe ways for women to have sex. If you have never experienced a woman feeling safe during sex, that says more about you than her. And it’s not just being a 115kg top, many such men have one or more women happily assuming the submissive role.
  
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- Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  
  Does this guy have a wife? Is he going to hurt me? Is he just using me?
  
  I probably wouldn’t be in a relationship with a guy if these were my worries during sex. But, there are other considerations that happen regardless of relationship status.
  
  There’s an inherent difference in being the “receiver,” a type of intimacy that only comes from having somebody else physically inside your own body. Things can get sore, especially if the guy treats sex like an Olympic event that he needs to keep on doing for a long time. (Or if he has his own issues with orgasming from penetration, which is surprisingly common these days. “Death grip” where a man becomes accustomed to the tightness of his own hand, or a reliance on viewing porn in order to cum, seem to be all over the place.)
  
  I enjoy penetrative sex, but my body needs a break sometimes. Things can start to get uncomfortable after going on for 20 minutes. I don’t think most straight guys are aware of the physical stress of being penetrated. It can be fun, in small doses, but if we regularly get to the point where I feel sore inside, it can become something aversive. Honestly I’d rather be with a guy who cums too quickly than a guy who can “keep going on and on,” because it sucks to always be the one to put an end to sexy times.
  
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HubertManne@piefed.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
One reason im with my wife is her apparent love of sex. Its funny I knew guys who believed there were two types of women. the marrying kind and the ones you had fun with. I believed the same thing but it was only one type of woman.

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danhab99@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
As a bottom I can give you one rule: penetrative sex of any kind is not supposed to be painful.

If it is then there’s usually a diagnosable problem to fix. It’s not always physical it can be really spiritual. I struggle with bottoming usually because I need to like the person I’m with enough to relax, it’s called being demi-sexual.

I feel like tops of any sexuality don’t really grok how intense of an experience it is to let someone into your own body such that when they’re in they don’t know how to respect what’s in there. Sometimes it does get so intense that it comes out of your voice, sometimes for me at least it gets too intense and I’m not sure if it feels good or bad so I need my top to slow down and let me figure out how things got rearranged.

Lastly, porn recorded by total nobodys on a webcam or iPhone is just barely grazing the boundary of reality. So if you’re not vocal, you don’t scream, then you just don’t like that just not you.

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pelican476@discuss.online ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
… so, you’re gay.

You do probably have vaginismus. But what nobody is going to tell you is that it’s fine. You don’t have to put anything up there ever.

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sbeak@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
Unrelated to the question, but what sort of degreesvare you eating celery in? Celsius, where the celery is quite cold, Fahrenheit, where the celery is frozen solid (unlikely). I highly doubt one can eat celery at 7K.

Or maybe it’s latitude, where you only eat celery when you are close to the equator (north or south?), or longitude, when you are 7 degrees west or eat of the Prime Meridian?

Maybe the angle of approach of the celery should be 7 degrees from a perpendicular line extending from your mouth? Or perhaps the angle from a line parallel to your arm?

This is what happens when you do not leave in units. Remember your units, kids!

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- Successful_Try543@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  
  Unrelated to the question, but what sort of degrees are you eating celery in? Celsius, where the celery is quite cold, Fahrenheit, where the celery is frozen solid (unlikely). I highly doubt one can eat celery at 7K.
  
  Maybe the ambient temperature is 7 °C, 7 °F, 7 °Ré, 7 °Rø or 7 °N (7 K or 7 °Ra are unlikely) or they eat celery on a plane inclined by 7°.
  
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Dead_or_Alive@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
Not a woman but I’ve picked up the following:

Some women do enjoy it. Some woman orgasm easily and others it takes time to get comfortable enough to do so. Some not at all. Personally I think it’s the ones who masterbate regularly, they seem more comfortable and seem to know how to get there. The only tells I’ve learned that I can trust as a man are if they get really flushed, if you can feel them spasm quick and hard, or if they squirt or get really wet. Everything else can be faked. Some woman don’t orgasm all the time but claim it just feels good.

Some Woman fake it… a lot. the yelling is likely faking it unless you see any of the signs from #1. In my experience and conversations it’s usually one night stands or maybe a partner they are particularly interested in, I’ve had female partners and friends tell me it’s usually to try and leave an impression. But woman do it for many reasons. Some are silent if there are other people in the same dwelling who might hear it, but let loose and get if they know they have privacy.

If you are curious, I’d recommend speaking to a doctor if you don’t enjoy it at all and want to change your situation.
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