If violent retribution is one of the paths inceldom leads to, it’s not terribly surprising if a femcel group goes the same way. What’s that saying? “Hurt people hurt people”?
If the only bond a group of people have is due to the pain they’re in, it can easily turn toxic. It’s a shame so many people turn toward incel/femcel communities instead of toward groups about shared interests or topics. I get wanting to commiserate with others, but when it becomes a circle jerk of sadness, sticking around can make existing issues so much worse.
RightHandOfIkaros@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Any time a group of people is open to anyone joining it’s going to get ruined by the awful people using it as an excuse to be awful. Doubly so when the original group of people is emotionally vulnerable and hurt.
Doc_Crankenstein@slrpnk.net 2 weeks ago
The real issue is that, most of the time, those who want to do harm are themselves emotionally vulnerable and hurt, which is why they gravitated to those in-groups in the first place. They turn their pain into justification which entitles them to harm others as an act of retribution. “Eye for an eye” type shit.
Every incel/femcel began as a teenager that didn’t know better, who was probably just a little weird or was taught some bullshit by their parents, who got bullied for what they perceived as being nothing more than themselves, and they had no one to help them cope with it in a healthy way.
RightHandOfIkaros@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I wouldn’t say most of the time, but that is true to some extent. I think most of the time that the actual incels just want the emotional support that they desperately need, but when coming into contact with people online naively believe everyone that calls themselves an incel is like them. So its easy for them to be manipulated. That’s where I think much of the bad reputation online for “incel” comes from, from people that were manipulated by others looking for easy targets. Many of the people that might feequent “incel communities” genuinely need help and are unknowingly drinking from a contaminated well.
As to your second remark, not every person who has trouble with emotional connection started as a teenager that was bullied. Perhaps you are talking exclusively about the people that manipulate the vulnerable ones, in that case I can say it is probably mostly true, but there are certainly exceptions.
strawberry_enjoyer42@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
I like to think most of us (at least those of us on !femcelmemes@lemmy.blahaj.zone) simply want to commiserate and get emotional support while we don’t have lovers.
RightHandOfIkaros@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I think most people that frequent those type of communities feel the same, and I hope you and all of the emotionally vulnerable, man or woman, are able to get real help that you need to feel better and more self-confident. Pain in the heart is not a fun thing to spend one’s time dealing with.
the_crotch@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Serious question, has anyone ever tried making a community for both incels and femcels so they can learn about each other and find common ground? I think it could be beneficial to both.
echodot@feddit.uk 2 weeks ago
These people often have other issues too but they don’t want to accept that so instead they try and make it everybody else’s fault.