Submitted 3 days ago by DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works to [deleted]
Having read a lot of what you’ve recently written, I would work in your parents’ small business and train yourself to take it over.
You’re struggling with a lot of issues that are preventing you from thriving and part of those issues are made worse by not being economically independent. That you’re pointing out that homelessness is a risk seems to indicate that you don’t have enough savings to pursue your own path to freedom.
In most cases, I’d probably recommend the family business, but your parents are abusive and they should have as little involvement in your life as possible.
I would say always be able to support yourself. You can help your parents if you want, but always be able to stand on your own. Otherwise you are vulnerable to victimization. Think…is it those very same parents who threaten you with homelessness if you have any independence? That will be held over you forever. I’d quietly work towards independent living while not causing a conflict.
How thriving? Is it just summer home thriving, or is it private jet thriving?
How toxic? Is it just criticizing your significant other toxic, or give away your dog to punish you toxic?
Oh lol no private jets sadly.
More like: “We probably won’t starve to death unless something serious like civil war breaks out” type of thing… stable income for the most part, but like there isn’t much luxuries… no fancy cars, no yachts, no mansions, none of that stuff, just an average house in a “suburb” that’s part of a city (like not the white republican town type, more like the Philly “suburb” type). Can’t really hire too many employees/contractors unless you’re prepared to take a significant cut to income so like you don’t just sit there like some rich ceo, no not that, you actually have to do things.
Toxic like: Emotional abuse for the most part… no physical abuse ever since I was like around 8-12 since I got old enough to defend myself. Lots of yelling, lots of threats, especially from my older brother (same mother same father btw, so this is not a half-sibling type of thing), sometimes I felt like he might murder me in my sleep, we still live in the same house… so much depression… which unfortunately I’m still on parents insurance and shit is just too expensive, idk if I can even afford healthcsre costs if I venture out there alone and get cut off. I’m in the US.
One more thing: I’m foreign born and non-white so without family, ICE feels very scary if I’m alone and no one knows if ICE just grabs me… so having family feels much safer since… at least I hope, that my mom would bring my citizenship papers and come get me. Can’t imagine being by myself and then IcE grabs me and no one is gonna advocate for me… so yea… that’s is a big issue if I went my own way… no family support is scary…
Sounds like a good situation to connect with a therapist or coach. Talk to someone outside the family who can help you formulate a strategy.
It’s not all or nothing, and it’s not a forever problem. You can use the family business to launch into something more stable and healthy in a few years. Whether that’s education or career planning or just building a financial parachute, I promise you can start taking steps now that will leave you in a better place in the future.
You are a survivor.
Private jet thriving can’t be a small business.
What toxicity? You could try standing up to them potentially
That’s an easy answer.
GTFO
There are many ways to make a living, no need to deal with guaranteed assholes.
Whichever feels better to you, be it for security reasons (which would probably be the first option) or for self fulfillment options (probably the second option).
Wow you described my situation. My parent is not toxic just my coworkers are extremely ignorant and toxic. For now better than staying in house all day. But I want out.
trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 3 days ago
There is no generic answer to this question. It depends on the person, the skills they have to make it on their own, the amount and type of toxicity, the place they live, the local culture and a lot of other factors.