How do I turn my tv on?

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨andros_rex@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

It is roughly three feet away from me.

Complications: if I scoot or stand in most of the ways that I can conceive of accessing it, this hastens the heat death of the universe by increasing my metabolic rate and consumption of energy, I think.

As a negative utilitarian, I feel my best moral decision in this moment is to go back to sleep. However, the television is off and I cannot sleep without a twelve hour video on banned Yugi-oh cards. (Pot of Greed assuages my concerns about thermodynamics some, I think.)

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Comments

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betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
Have you considered pretending to also be a TV and seducing it?

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CidVicious@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
TIL that this sub allows text-only posts. The possibilities this opens up are endless.

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Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
Throw something at the button.

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vk6flab@lemmy.radio ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
Props for a shitpost with such depth of depravity, especially since even a single response here will increase entropy more than you getting up and turning the TV on multiple times a day for the rest of your life.

And here’s the kicker, that pales into insignificance when compared with watching a twelve hour video.

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morrowind@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
Watching tv also hastens the heat death of the universe.

By your philosophy, I see two options

You strangle yourself now to lessen the pain on everyone else

You dedicate yourself to reducing entropy on earth and concede you must watch 12 hour videos on banned cards to be most effective
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- andros_rex@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
  One time I was running a robotics club and I had a student try to strangle themselves.
  
  Not a very effective strategy. They were back in a couple weeks.
  
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SoupBrick@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
You have 5 liters of drawing material at hand. Summon a demon to turn it on for you.

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PP_BOY_@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
Re: complications

What you’re referring to is only the illusion of energy expendature. You moving, “burning” energy, isn’t really encouraging entropy because you’re just changing one energy form to another. The only thing that destroys energy is time.

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- andros_rex@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
  But what about relativistic effects? Getting off my ass is altering the passage of my time, at least somewhat.
  
  I did manage to get up to get an energy drink; it doesn’t seem to be providing me any ability to do work though.
  
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  - Angelusz@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
    Spike it with amphetamines, work and then realize that suddenly three days have passed, you forgot to eat and the universe is a little bit closer to said entropy.
    
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GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
I’ve found that a bit of cocaine and promises of acting work does the trick.

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EABOD25@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
Have you considered remotely?

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Hikermick@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
Turn of the lamps, light a few candles and whisper sweet nothings in it’s ear

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lime@feddit.nu ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
hdcp-capable dongles usually turn the TV on by themselves. just try casting, see what happens.

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