Submitted 8 months ago by favrion@lemmy.world to [deleted]
They’ll ask me to do something, and then a few seconds later they add, “Please, thank you,” as if they realized that they have to say it.
This is a sign that they truly believe it's "the magic word."
I think that's the attitude. Please should mean something. Thank you should mean something. But when you grew up being told to say it just to get what you want, then that's all it means to you.
Yup, this is my boomer mother exactly. Even told my nieces and nephew many times if you do something wrong just say it was an accident and nobody can be mad at you.
Even just in the US this is very regionally different and not really something I associate with generational cultures. Like in Tenn/Bama/Georgia it is very expected but means nothing. In Southern California it is rare, but actually means something when said.
Also in the South, when a “request” is followed by the phrase “Please and thank you,” it isn’t really a request. It’s an order.
What does it mean that “please” and “thank you” mean nothing? I am genuinely confused.
automatic response, same as when someone says “how’s it going” to a cashier, and the person responds “good”. this interaction rarely means anything other than formality. The person asking doesn’t usually want to know, and the person responding doesn’t usually want to tell
In some parts of the country, people wont even tell you to “go fuck yourself” without throwing a ‘please’ in there. Is “please go fuck yourself” any more polite than just “go fuck yourself”? The word “please” is so overused as to have no inherent meaning at all.
Not the person you asked, but in my experience some people say “please” even if they don’t mean it—ie they’re not actually politely asking you, but telling you to do so in a pseudo-polite manner. They expect you to do it regardless. Similarly, “automatic thank yous” they aren’t actually grateful, they feel you were obligated to do the task and just know “thank you” should be said so it’s an afterthought.
Imagine someone handing you a bag of garbage and saying “take this to the garage thanks” all in one breath and walking away.
> boomers
How old are you? If you’re a teenager, your parents are Gen X or Millennials.
This is so weird… that I’m one of the parents now. Aging is a strange experience. As a 34 year old Millennial, I find life is consistently strange
Nah not boomers. My parents are boomers (I’m not a teenager btw).
People their age usually know how to say please and thank you. Unless of course they are very upset, but, who doesn’t screw up when upset?
dunno, but my folks (boomer generation) raised me to say please and thank you. good manners and politeness dont cost anything, after all. in practice these days I generally only use that verbiage when I’m writing up email at work.
There are no relevant studies concerning the topic. What might seem like a widespread trend, might as well be merely a local peculiarity.
I think it’s just you
It could differ based on social context. I have it some thought, and with coworkers or people I don’t know really well, I almost always lead with courtesies.
But, with my spouse of 25+ years I’ve realized I’ll often say “can you do this… Please?”
And, that kind of fits what I think you’re saying. So, maybe it’s because you’re family and the pleasantries get dropped or delayed?
My parents are actual boomers by the definition. Though I think my dad was technically just before the actual Boomer generation. I lost him last December. I don’t really remember it but they raised me to be polite. So they must have been as well.
Interesting story, I used to go to a family owned Mexican restaurant that my parents were well known at. The owners daughter waitresses a lot. One day I had asked her for something adding please at the end. And she thought it was the oddest thing. She said I didn’t need to say please. As if because they was serving us my politeness wasn’t needed. That seemed odd to me. I’m guessing she was millennial just by the age she looked. Was younger than me but not a teen. It didn’t stop me from saying please and thank you, but for some reason that always sticks in my head.
My mom recently said she noticed I am like that with servers and other staff at places much more than my siblings are. I spent a lot of time with my grandparents and people in their circle growing up. Much more tha my siblings did so maybe I got it from them. The pre-boomers whatever they would be called.
Nah, my folks a very polite.
In my experience, not only do they think THEY are not required to say please/thank you, or be generally polite humans, they EXPECT everyone to cow-tow to them. I don’t think it’s blanket true, but it’s been my experience with my parents and their contemporaries.
Mereo@lemmy.ca 8 months ago
This question lacks social context. Are we talking about USA, Canada, UK, France, UK, Japan, Morocco, Australia, South Africa?
There are 7 billion people on earth with NUMEROUS cultures. To have a serious discussion we need to know the society in question.
Rayston@kbin.social 8 months ago
Boomer is primarily an american term referring to american generations. I suppose you could try and apply it to "western" countries, but it definitely doesnt apply to places like China and Japan.
Your point still stands, but its not quite as lacking in context as you imply.
favrion@lemmy.world 8 months ago
United States.
JackLSauce@lemmy.world 8 months ago
The 8 billion mark was estimated to be achieved sometime in the past 2 years
Can’t remember exactly when and DDG is all the way in the other tab