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Crazy people do this. It’s a gender neutral issue. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. Best you can do is not respond anymore than necessary with hope they’ll move on to the next person.
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Submitted 2 years ago by vestmoria@linux.community to workreform@lemmy.world
Comments
Boiglenoight@lemmy.world 2 years ago
friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Personally I would have no problem interrupting them with “I’m sorry, can we talk about something else?” and if they continued to ramble I would just ignore them or respond with obviously disinterested comments like “no way”, “you don’t say”, “that’s crazy”, etc…
Honestly though, I’d be interested to hear what girls would say to this because they probably deal with this a lot.
Takios@discuss.tchncs.de 2 years ago
Changed jobs recently and a colleague was supposed to show me the process of doing something. The very first thing out of his mouth were begging me not to get vaccinated because it would kill me.
I harshly responded that I disagree with his position and that he shouldn’t bring up that topic again. He very much tested the water if I would be an ally to his conspiracy nut views but shutting that down quickly spared me further incidents like this. Other colleagues who tried to just ignore his ramblings just received more and more of it.
andrewta@lemmy.world 2 years ago
If at first ignoring it doesn’t work, be very very direct. That’s just my opinion.
tyler@programming.dev 2 years ago
“You’re an idiot and there’s several BILLION people on the planet as proof of that fact.”
PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 2 years ago
I’m not racist because I’m married to a croat
Man must have been a serb
borari@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 years ago
[deleted]PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 2 years ago
That joke about casual racism implying the existence of competitive racism was most certainly told by someone who wasn’t aware of the basically everything about the Balkans, even the geography somehow!
Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 years ago
I’m not sure why some people do this, but the counter is to be visibly uncomfortable and keep your reactions short. People engage when you engage, for the most part. When they cross a line, keep it at “I see.” and don’t ask for more details. You might appear aloof but I guarantee that the rest of your colleagues have learned similar defense mechanisms to avoid the same conversation.
Pretend you’re their boss’s boss - how would he or she react if an employee trauma dumped?
TunaCowboy@lemmy.world 2 years ago
That’s crazy bro.
xmunk@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
You have the right to do your job in a safe and healthy environment. Other people don’t have a right to make a workplace hostile by pushing their agenda. Just mention that you’re not comfortable discussing religion or politics in the workplace and consider lodging a complaint in writing to HR in case you’re suddenly let go “without cause”.
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 2 years ago
I like to ask “why” over and over into they get to the core of their ideas, which is always hatred, and then they get embarrassed by it.
ryven@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 years ago
They think you look sympathetic and they’re trying to make friends.
boatsnhos931@lemmy.world 2 years ago
It’s a game of chicken. See how far you can go with it. Hitler was an amateur, I’m killing all the races!!!
LostWanderer@lemmynsfw.com 2 years ago
I’m usually blunt about it and say, ‘I’m just here to work and go home, there is no reason for you to tell on yourself like this.’ I can’t waste emotional bandwidth on these types of people. Naturally it depends on the severity and gross factor of whatever they are trying to emotionally dump how much verbal force I use to shut them down.
As a long time ago, I observed a pattern of the types of people who do that. Heading it off before it can begin by remaining neutral and distant towards them. Using brief sentences to communicate, working alongside them without fostering any camaraderie.
solidgrue@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Probably nothing moe than these are lonely older men who have forgotten how to interact with people socially, and you’re new. I’d most likely have tuned out the first two, but that last guy sounds like he just wants to talk. If he was in the service, he might have some entertaining (if embellished) stories to tell. I’d have engaged.
You probay have a quiet, attentive and impassive way about yourself. Look people In the eye while they talk? Not volunteer much about yourself? Sort of an “aw, shucks,” answer to most of what people lay on you? Don’t offer suggestions about their problems because they’re not yours and who the hell.are these people anyway?
Welcome to life as a Father Confessor! I say, get yourself ordained with the UU church ($65 and they send you a certificate, papers, and a card!) or the Subgenii (instant ordination AND salvation, just $44.99!), and learn to say anything other than “sorry” when people lay bad their bad mojo on you. Challenge them with uplifting suggestions like, “have you considered a life of public service,?” Or “Have you considered volunteering in a soup.kitchen?” If that fails, evangelize the Church of Bob or Joshua or Offler or whatever until they go stop.
6 times In 10 they clam up.and go away. 4 times in 10 the soup kitchen gets a volunteer for the evening, and maybe 1 time on 10 of those they keep at it.
Think of it as a public.good.
Taniwha420@lemmy.world 2 years ago
I second this. This sounds like older men seeking validation. I’m willing to bet that they’ve been sold on a mythical contract: “If you do X, you will have a smooth life and get respect.” Problem is, many in the public don’t believe in X or think it’s a problem, their families/wife probably doesn’t think much of them, and they haven’t had the life they thought they were entitled to. Often this crew is looking for someone to blame for the unfulfilled contract nobody ever agreed to.
I suspect they’re looking for validation (“Tell me I’m right and good.”), and you’re agreement that the people they think cheated them indeed did that and are bad/cheaters.
Old White Guys really got sold on this, “get a job, work hard, and your wife will lust after you,” false contract. That’s why they can be so hateful. It’s either find someone who stole their reward from them, or acknowledge they believed a lie.