Just yell to her you’re not going to rape her. Problem solved.
Comment on Anon walks home in the city at 2 AM
papalonian@lemmy.world 5 days ago
So everyone here is saying fuck anon and I agree, but I agree because they are aware of it and intentionally doing things on purpose to exacerbate the situation.
But like, if you’re a physically larger dude (maybe even cursed with a hint of melanin), and you’ve got to walk behind a woman at 2am… it’s just a shitty situation for both people, where both of you feel like you have to do something you shouldn’t have to do (women feeling the need to run, defend themselves, or cry for help, and men feeling the need to change their route, stand around and wait until she leaves, or do something awkward and potentially more scary like announce their presence).
I’m definitely not advocating for women to be less cautious on the streets at night or anything like that at all, it’s an unfortunate reality that they need to stay vigilant and aware to remain safe. It just really sucks that the way it comes across a lot of the time does little to protect anyone from any actual harm, and just makes normal people feel like shit for making someone feel like they’re about to get raped.
rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 5 days ago
agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
“I’m not gonna rape you, I’m a little boy”
AA5B@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Hear hear! As a bigger guy with a faster pace, I have yet to find a way that doesn’t make everyone uncomfortable while also making me frustrated as hell because I can’t walk at my own pace.
ChexMax@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Wear a reflective vest. It makes it obvious you’re just trying to safely walk your dog, makes you less likely to be hit by a car and signals safety because dangerous people don’t usually want to be conspicuous
papalonian@lemmy.world 4 days ago
If it makes you feel any better, a large person walking with a scary dog seems much less likely to be a psychopath than just a large person by themselves (to me, at least).
Obviously not to say that large people are psychopaths 😂 just that someone with an animal they’re caring for doesn’t strike me as someone who is going to attack me.
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 days ago
No fair! My cat is at home.
papalonian@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Well, who’s fault is that now, really?
wieson@feddit.org 4 days ago
Maybe if you skipped?
AA5B@lemmy.world 3 days ago
That would be hilarious …. I’m not sure I remember how.
wieson@feddit.org 2 days ago
Step 1: braid your hair. Two braids to the sides or two pigtails, either works
Step 2: get one of those big swirly lollies
Step 3: ba-dee ba-daa
Left- right – air time – right-left – air time
Eranziel@lemmy.world 4 days ago
I think (as a white dude, so take your grains of salt as you please) that a dog would make you less threatening. Makes it clearer what you’re up to, and people bringing their dogs along to mug or rape someone is exceedingly rare.
Strawberry@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 days ago
talk to your dog
superkret@feddit.org 4 days ago
(maybe even cursed with a hint of melanin)
That euphemism is a lot worse than just saying “black”.
papalonian@lemmy.world 4 days ago
According to…?
superkret@feddit.org 4 days ago
me. That’s my opinion. Being black is not a curse.
papalonian@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Awesome! According to me, the person I was talking about, “being cursed with a hint melanin” is an obvious in-joke to other black or mixed people. I’ll keep describing myself however I like, and you do the same!
Peruvian_Skies@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
A curse is a condition that bestows a disadvantage. Being black is not a curse in and of itself, but being black + being in any one of many places around the world today is definitely a curse-esque combination due to racism.
infinite_ass@leminal.space 4 days ago
I prefer “of coloredness”
riwo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 days ago
this doesn’t just go on gender lines either. i am tall and broad and probably scare people, especially women, in the dark. i hope that same thing protects me from being assaulted. no one asks for ur gender, when they see u walking around at night.
papalonian@lemmy.world 4 days ago
I’ve never even considered this perspective before. It’s frustrating enough for guys to get lumped in with shitty guys, but to be a woman lumped in with shitty guys, that’s gotta be aggravating as hell.
I’d wager you’re probably right, though; you’ve probably got a better buffer against weirdos than a dainty little flower might.
Dayroom7485@lemmy.world 5 days ago
If you’re a big guy and you find yourself walking behind a woman at 2am AND, unlike anon, you‘re not a complete sociopath, you have two options in a nutshell. One, you move your ass and overtake, walking fast. Two, you change the side of the road. Both minor inconveniences.
elidoz@lemmy.ml 5 days ago
just not changing pace is good enough in my opinion, that makes it look like he was actually chasing her
if he takes the same road and she is scared it’s more of a she problem since he’s just going home
imo the solution is just not to do anything sketchy, and teach younger people what’s right and wrong, so that the problem can get solved with a better society in the future
13esq@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Ah yes, why didn’t my parents or their grandparents think to teach their kids that rape and murder is wrong!? It’s all so clear now!!!
Revan343@lemmy.ca 5 days ago
If the current state of America is any indication, plenty of people didn’t teach their kids that
TranscendentalEmpire@lemmynsfw.com 4 days ago
Doesn’t have to be women, I’ve accidentally startled dudes as well. Being a pretty broad and tall dude I usually only keep my size in mind to keep out of the way or make sure I don’t bump into things or hit my head on stuff.
But when I think about it, of course it would be intimidating to run across someone a foot and a half taller and twice your weight. It would be like me being tailed by Shaq in the middle of the night.