Comment on Anon comes out to his religious parents

southsamurai@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

• skyspydude1@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Well, are you going to tell us the story?

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  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I honestly didn’t think anyone would be interested. If anything, I expected a blast of hate, since that’s what happened the last time I told the story.

    But yeah, gimme a bit and I’ll come back. Kid’s sick, so we gotta do the doctor thing.

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  • jballs@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Apparently not.

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    • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Edited it in

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      • jballs@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        That’s funny that his parents were mad about it. I can just imagine them going, “Look, I know we talked about how sexuality isn’t a choice… but can’t you just choose to like dicks? It would make the conversations with the neighbors so much easier.”

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  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Edited it in to the original comment

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• themeatbridge@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I sort of had that happen to me. In middle school, someone started a rumor that I was gay. This was early 90s, and I was young, so it bothered me. I was new to the district, and didn’t have many friends, and being called “gay” was something bad in my mind.

  But then I suddenly had a bunch of friends who were being really supportive. Some were gay, some were straight, but everyone just encouraged each other to be who they are. I learned a lot from them about acceptance and being myself. Years passed.

  But none of them ever asked me if I was gay. Anyone that asked, I would say “no, I’m straight.” Apparently people thought I was in denial.

  But then I asked a girl out, and she was like, “Wait, but… Aren’t you gay?” The look on her face is seared into my subconscious. It was a mixture of confusion, betrayal, and contempt. Like I had been pretending to be gay to worm my way into her friendship, all the while being a lecherous creep waking to strike.

  Also it turns out, one of my gay friends was working up the courage to ask me out. It was the talk of the lunch table, except they had been keeping it from me because they didn’t want to embarrass our friend.

  So I had to go to that friend and explain that I liked them as a friend, but I was not attracted to men. He then claimed that he wasn’t interested in me, which was really fucking confusing. And then I had to clarify to everyone at the lunch table that I was, and had always been, straight. Which is weird enough, but I had also now rejected one friend and creeped on another.

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  • Interstellar_1@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Wow that’s a crazy situation haha

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• skyspydude1@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Wow, that was pretty wild. Thanks for taking the time to type that out, it was well worth the wait.

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  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    No worries :)

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• psycho_driver@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I mean, we all know a guy like this. He’s a major bogie on the gaydar and then you find out he bangs chicks and seems to enjoy it.

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• grrgyle@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Great story and well told. Beautiful really. Pan-romantic, I really like that. Wow there are so many gradations of sexuality and identity. I so wish we were talking about this shit when I was a kid.

  So much time wasted trying to fit in the restrictive “straight” or “gay” buckets.

  Still not as much as the guy in your story, but I can totally see how he could wind up in that situation given the cards dealt.

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  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I know so many people that would have been better off with the range of definitions we have now, if only so they could self label and know what their feelings meant.

    Like, demi-sexual. The folks I know that had a big aha! moment when they heard the term and its definition weren’t necessarily unable to find happiness, but they were always questioning what was “wrong” with them, when it’s something that’s common enough that there should have been a term for it all along.

    Just that, the knowledge that a person isn’t alone or weird is such a powerful thing.

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• sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Wow, labels can be so stupid. I’m glad he found something that works. 👍

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• Ifera@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I had the opposite experience, pansexual but homoromantic, neraly married a woman I thought I loved, sex was amazing and I thought what I felt was love through the eyes of an autistic person, but after she broke up with me and I finally had my first boyfriend, everything clicked.

  You can’t miss what you have never had, but once you discover your true self, there is no going back.

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• Lux@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Jocat

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• m0darn@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Makes total sense to me. He loved his husband and wanted him to be happy, but wasn’t sexually attracted to him. But not a homophobe, so willing to try to make husband happy.

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• Korrok@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Thanks for sharing this, it was nice to read.

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• AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  A friend of mine came out as straight to his parents, because he understood that this is someone one does when becoming aware of one’s sexuality, and as a young teen, he had his first crush on a girl. A few years later, he came out as bi.

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