Comment on Anon entertains himself while his parents are gone

Aggravationstation@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

• theangryseal@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I pretend to speak in different languages. I give speeches as Mao Zedong, Hitler, Churchill, Kennedy, tv preachers, etc. I play with different high pitched Lincoln sounds and encourage the troops. I’ve encouraged ships full of pirates to prepare for Spanish ships and all the treasure that awaits them. I’ve called back to Houston to describe the moons of Jupiter. I’ve recorded my farewell to my family as the ship runs out of oxygen. I’ve been Napoleon just before a large battle, Alexander making promises to the Persians.

  There might be something wrong with me.

  One of the most embarrassing moments of my life was when I was alone at work for hours, very slow day. I started doing my best fake German Hitler impression and oh boy, the SS were seigin’ and heilin’. We were losing the war. Out of nowhere an old dude came walking out of the bathroom. He nodded at me with a look like he was embarrassed for my ancestors and descendants, I nodded at him with the reddest face on the planet. Took me months to get over that one. Fortunately he had an out of state tag and I haven’t seen him since. I hope I never see him again.

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  • Aggravationstation@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I can’t remember what I said but whilst deep in conversation with myself early one morning on the way to work I made eye contact with a woman who was getting out of her car. I froze, her expression quickly changed to something I can only describe as an “I’m not getting raped today” face with a mixture of sheer terror and anger, before she got back in her car and sped away. That one also shook me for a good few months, mostly due to her parting visage.

    I find myself often coming out with “finger in the butt” or some variation (finger in your butt, finger up the butt etc) which is a bit weird as I’m English and don’t use the word butt in normal conversation. Also, for some reason lately the “N” word in lots of permutations. It’s not completely involuntary as I can control it when I need to but I’m not really consciously doing it when it happens either.

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    • SturgiesYrFase@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Well, hope you can afford private practice diagnosis, NHS wait lists for anything mental health related are absolutely insane these days. Unless you are English but live outside the UK, in which case I hope you’re somewhere with a not intentionally broken health care system.

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  • lars@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    out of state tag

    What is this in your world, like a Polish dog collar???

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    • theangryseal@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t a local. He was from the other side of the country. I guess I’m googling polish dog collar.

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      • lars@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Just made it up. Like what would Hitler be euphemistically referring to as an “out-of-state tag”.

        A swing. And a miss. On my part.

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• AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  14 year olds who masturbate on basically everything, to everything, in everything, everywhere

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  • TheSlad@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Wait we’re supposed to stop after we turn 15?

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  • Aggravationstation@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Yea they sure do, just don’t understand how that’s connected to my original comment?

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    • AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Masturbating 25 times a day is weird shit and you(usually) do it alone

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      • Aggravationstation@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I do. How did you know?

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• minibyte@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Grown man. Walk around house naked. Do the occasional helicopter.

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  • Aggravationstation@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Are you describing what you do or giving me suggestions? Either way I love it.

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    • joe_cool@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Be creative. Maybe something with coconuts?

      Johnson windmill

      I think it’s also known as helicopter dick. But you’d have to get it going a bit before it gets some traction.

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  • Captain_Buddha@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    They said “weird shit” you do broseph.

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• Psych@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Yes I … Wait never mind that’s depression .

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  • Aggravationstation@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Is it?

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• NakariLexfortaine@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Sometimes I have fun pretending to be a character reacting to a situation. Not always while alone, either.

  I playfully narrated my ex playing Borderlands as Cid. Specifically FF7 Cid. Had us both fucking dying as I would just randomly launch into it, normally while stoned with the pipe still in the corner of my mouth.

  It’s entertaining as fuck.

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• pewgar_seemsimandroid@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  do the most random things ever and confuse yourself

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