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In the nicest way to Anon, it may not be paedophilic, but 27 dating 20 is still sus as fuck.

Sure, the older you are the less the age gap matters - like nobody would look at an 80 year old weirdly for dating a 70 year old.

... but at 20 years old, a 7 year age gap is 1/3 of their lifespan apart. That's a fucking lot!

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waterwasamistake@lemmy.zip ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Its still not pedophilia though and while i agree with you on principle, YOU DO NOT BLAST ANYONE FOR BEEING A PEDOPHILE WHEN THEY ARE DATING AN ADULT PERSON.

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antianarchist@sopuli.xyz ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Biological age != emotional age.

I have seen 36yo acting like 16yo. They have access to alcohol and are seen as an adult.

I have also seen 16yo acting like 36yo. Usually caused by trauma. They get pushed out of childhood or adolescence forcefully. It will cause major issues in their lifes, but they are emotionally very mature.

There is a reason why in many places the age of consent is 16yo. However, this does not mean that their brain is fully developed until they reach 25yo. That means, a smart, older person can certainly abuse a 16yo into thinking she gave consent. And this is the type of relationship that is toxic.

At the end of the day, it all comes down to the older person and if they used any psychological tricks or not. If not, let them enjoy the experience. They both know what is best for them.

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- agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  
  However, this does not mean that their brain is fully developed until they reach 25yo.
  
  There is no age when the brain is “fully developed”. This myth comes from a study that showed the brain continued developing into adulthood, and the oldest participants were 25. The brain continues developing for basically your whole life.
  
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  - FavouriteShapes@sh.itjust.works ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Based
    
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M137@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
I accidentally dated a 19yo when I was 29… She told me she was 25, everything pointed towards that being true (she had lived away from her parents for several years, had a full time job, looked the part, on a surface level acted the part etc.)

Yes, I ended the relationship (while she tried to twist it around to her being the one who is ending it, which is childish) when I found out.

I’m now very keen on getting factual age with proof and generally go for same age or older than me. Never again, I felt so fucking disgusting.

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- 87Six@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  So she acted the part, looked the part, and you liked her… But somehow you don’t want to be with her just because of age?
  
  Wtf…
  
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  - psion1369@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Sorry, but that’s a pretty big lie in my book. If she was upfront about it, that’s one thing. And if she was willing to lie about that, what other lies are there? OP was right to break it off.
    
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- blackberry28@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  That was just dumb of you. Putting so much weight into just a number. Throwing away a potentially good relationship just cos of a number. Guess she dodged a bullet.
  
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  - idiomaddict@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Yeah, someone who lies about something fundamental is definitely a good partner.
    
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  - shalafi@lemmy.world ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    I’m a bit torn. He might have lost a great thing, but she came out the gate lying. It wasn’t a “big” lie, as-in a lie that would turn out to hurt him, but still…
    
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- shalafi@lemmy.world ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  At that age and a little latter, I dated girls 8-10 years my junior. That was perfectly normal with Gen X. The age gap doesn’t concern me, the lie concerns me very much.
  
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ch00f@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Half your age plus 7.

27 -> 20.5. Yup. Too big of a gap.

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- ddplf@szmer.info ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  
  Ha! Your life experiences fall apart when confronted with my arbitrary schema I saw on a meme.
  
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  - nodiratime@lemmy.world ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    It also comes from the most milquetoast sit com in existence.
    
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- XiJinpingStanAccount@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  May I introduce my 80 year old grandfather and his 47 year old wife. Yes, she changes his diapers. Why do you ask?
  
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Starski@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Objectively not paedophilic, and only *possibly sus. It all depends on mental and emotional maturity. Only after a certain age of course, an undeveloped brain isn’t going to be able to understand how mature they are, so any notion of maturity would be from an outside influence and it would be inherently unethical to attribute that to the childs actual maturity and try to start a relationship. However, after a certain age you’re likely going to be mature enough to make your own decisions, and for most people this ends up being around 18. That is to say, I’ve met people much older who I don’t think should be allowed to make their own decisions, for the sake of themselves and others. However, I have also met younger people much more mature and mentally stable than most others I’ve encountered. All this to say, if they’re both competent adults then stfu and mind your own business.

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shalafi@lemmy.world ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
In the 90s no one would have so much as blinked at that difference. Times sure have changed for the pruder.

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