Definitely not overreacting, even the extra context in the comments. I agree with getting a contract drawn up. Iād say itās not worth going forward but I know the place youāre in right now isnāt great (how many times have you been broken into?!) How do parents feel about your siblings making use of the space when theyāre in town? Itās lovely they want to help you, but it sounds like theyāre really hoping to help themselves just as much.
Comment on Discussion Thread š¦ Sunday 13 September 2026
Alamutjones@aussie.zone āØ4ā© āØhoursā© ago
Okay so.
My understanding of the apartment hunt was that I was buying a home for myself. Part of it is my savings, part of it a homeloan scheme, part my parents chipping in. The condition of my parents contributing is that any apartment I buy has to have a second bedroom, second bathroom and car space - a guest suite, effectively, for them to use when they come from Mornington into town.
One of the options we looked at yesterday was a converted hotel space - two suites that have been turned into a single apartment. Because it WAS two rooms, it has two front doors.
āOh, great. We can lock our side when weāre not hereā
Hang on, that means Iām locked out of about 40% of my home on a daily basis
āBut thatās ours. Why would you ever go in there?ā
Because itās part of my home. The suite is yours when you need it, for as long as you likeā¦but Iād quite like to have, like, a chair and some shelves in there as well as your bed so itās not completely wasted space for the 75% of the year youāre not here? Maybe one of my pictures goes on that wall? Iād like to be able to stash my yoga mat and Christmas shit in that wardrobe?
Apparently thatās not the deal. Itās not āthe guest room in my homeā, itās their private space in the city that they donāt want me ever to enter even when theyāre not here. They thought I understood that expectation going in.
Weāve been looking at city apartments. Making two rooms functionally useless/invisible to me because theyāre not actually mine to access feels likeā¦a bigger deal compared to having an unused bedroom and guest bathroom in a big house.
Iāmā¦weirdly upset by this. Iām happy to share - gladly, and Iāll get a second TV and the nice sheets/towels they like so they can be entirely comfortable there - but I honestly thought that it would be a guest room I could at least sit in when they didnāt need it.
Am I overreacting?
SpinMeAround@aussie.zone āØ54ā© āØminutesā© ago
Alamutjones@aussie.zone āØ36ā© āØminutesā© ago
When the idea was first raised to me, it was framed as though other people might also use the suite, yeah
PeelerSheila@aussie.zone āØ1ā© āØhourā© ago
You arenāt overreacting. I canāt add much given the excellent comments and advice youāve already received here. My immediate worry was the costs, like the owners fees and whatnot. Are you expected to pay 100% of those? Pretty outrageous of your Olds actually, if thatās the case. Also, regarding the whole āwhy would you need to go in thereā question: even empty unused rooms need to be cleaned regularly. Dust, mould and pests can still accumulate if places are closed up. They need a dust, vacuum and open curtains and windows to freshen the place up even if theyāre not in use. Do your folks expect it to be sealed like a tomb? Seems a bit silly. What if ātheirā bathroom has a leak? Or the roof leaks?
Alamutjones@aussie.zone āØ38ā© āØminutesā© ago
I am, yeah, because all going to plan I get the whole apartment when they die.
Trouble is I have to live in it now
StudChud@aussie.zone āØ3ā© āØhoursā© ago
Nah youāre not overreacting. My friends, a couple, had a similar deal with their parents (his parents): theyāll chip in $1m, while my mates had the other $700k from their savings/first home buyer scheme, with the stipulation that the parents have a place to stay when they come over from Vietnam or Perth. Except, they didnāt force my mates to not use the space when the parents arenāt there.
What Iām pointing out is that you can be grateful for their help, and extremely disappointed and upset that they have this condition that wasnāt explained to you.
Honestly, idk what Iād do. Part of me would want to be like āwell keep your money thenā but also, in this housing market thatās a hard thing to do. Ugh. What a clusterfuck, Iām so sorry youāre in this position, I want to slap your parents (lightly, just a little bit).
Alamutjones@aussie.zone āØ3ā© āØhoursā© ago
It particularly stings because Iāve got stuff from their house in my bedroom (at MY place) right now. Theyāve just moved, and Iām storing Dadās big telescope for him. In my actual full-time bedroom Thereās a cedarwood chest thatās mostly full of stuff that isnāt mine - the chest is, the contents are mostly not.
I do not mind this. Iām willing. Iām justā¦having some feelings that apparently this is different.
Iāve been frustrated the whole time that a lot of the apartments weāve I like most arenāt going to work with my scooter because the lift is too small, or the front doir to rhe builfing has steps, or thereās nowhere to put it that wonāt be in the way - theyād be perfect for me if I could walk worth a damb, but accessibility comes ahead of ādo I actually like it hereā.
I donāt want āalso a decent chunk of the place is off limits to meā to interfere with ādo I like it here?ā too.
StudChud@aussie.zone āØ11ā© āØminutesā© ago
Iām so sorry. Have a cry, try to treat yourself to some self care, Iām sending you my good vibes. If I could fix this for you, I would no lie ššš
Seagoon_@aussie.zone āØ2ā© āØhoursā© ago
for that amount of money it would take 1000 days minimum at a hotel to make it worthwhile
also, who is paying all the expenses like insurance, rates and upkeep, because that would be at least $25,000 a year. At least.
Bottom_racer@aussie.zone āØ4ā© āØhoursā© ago
Youāre not overreacting.
Donāt have any advice but it sounds very controlling of them.
tombruzzo@aussie.zone āØ4ā© āØhoursā© ago
No, I think thatās fair enough. Parents offer to help out with things then put the weirdest conditions on their help.
It sounds like they want a holiday home in the city but are taking the ācheapā option by helping you buy a place
Seagoon_@aussie.zone āØ1ā© āØhourā© ago
No. Parents donāt. I donāt and have never and never would.
talk, discuss, respect, compromise,
and if you give something it is theirs to do with as they wish
If the parents want a half share in an apartment they can use they should at minimum have it legal.
And why should Alamut have to pay rates, insurance and expenses on their room?
Alamutjones@aussie.zone āØ3ā© āØhoursā© ago
Iām honestly on board with hosting people at need. I have a brother interstate, I have a sister and her kids in Gippsland, my parents are in Mornington.
āIām in town for a thing, can I use your place?ā is honestly a really sensible question.
I justā¦assumed it would be somewhere that I got to use for something when no one else was. A comfy chair and maybe a bookshelf for my National Geographics would have done, so the room wasnāt wasted space when I was the only one living there.
Pilk@aussie.zone āØ4ā© āØhoursā© ago
My heart sunk for you reading that. I obviously donāt know all the discussion you had about arrangements before you starting looking, but it seems like a massive assumption on their part that helping you get into home ownership entitles them to claim part of the space for themselves.
Going from a place that is 0% yours to one that is only 60% yours isnāt the point at all.
Alamutjones@aussie.zone āØ4ā© āØhoursā© ago
I knew from day one that the guest room would by primarily āfor themā. I wouldnāt have my desk in there, for example, it would be a dedicated bedroom.
I didnāt realise that I wasnāt supposed to have ANYTHING of mine in there. I honestly just want a shelf for my National Geographics and a comfy chair. I just want it to be a room that still exists in my home
Seagoon_@aussie.zone āØ1ā© āØhourā© ago
I donāt understand why they would want to erase you from that room
Alamutjones@aussie.zone āØ1ā© āØhourā© ago
My stepmother is immunocompromised. A lot of her town visits are medical in nature.
I think sheās worried about me using ātheir bathroomā instead of āmy bathroomā because itās closer/getting budgie feathers all over it/etc. Not being able to guarantee it as an appropriate guest space when sheās here to see a doctor.
I think thatās a fair thing to take jnto account. It has to be somewhere she can feel safe when sheās ill. I fully agree that the guest suite isnāt a primary living space for me in the way that my own bedroom is. But because I know about the need for the medical stuff, I wouldnāt actually do any of the stuff sheās worrying about. Itās a guest space first.
I feel as though I should be able to store stuff in the wardrobe, or have some bookshelves in a corner, or hang one of my pictures above the bed, without making it any less welcoming for guests
Seagoon_@aussie.zone āØ2ā© āØhoursā© ago
not over reacting
in such a small home you should be using all of it
when guests come over you are converting your space into guest space
also, bedrooms are small now adays
Catfish@aussie.zone āØ4ā© āØhoursā© ago
This is a terrible idea. Youāre going to need to find a way to do this without letting them get their claws into you in any way. Do not accept any money. Do not ever call any room Theirs. And do not let them have a key. Your sanity depends on it.
Alamutjones@aussie.zone āØ4ā© āØhoursā© ago
Iām honestly on board with hosting people at need. I have a brother interstate, I have a sister and her kids in Gippsland, my parents are in Mornington.
āIām in town for a thing, can I use your place?ā is honestly a really sensible question.
I justā¦assumed it would be somewhere that I got to use for something when no one else was.
SaneMartigan@aussie.zone āØ4ā© āØhoursā© ago
No, you are not over reacting at all. Can you ditch the spare room and car park to get your own place?
Alamutjones@aussie.zone āØ4ā© āØhoursā© ago
I canāt afford it without their help.
Iām renting a two bedroom place now, and the second room is my workspace. Iām already giving up the idea of a separate office (Iāll have to have the desk in my living space) in anywhere I buy.
Seagoon_@aussie.zone āØ15ā© āØminutesā© ago
Question.
Do they expect to just turn up unannounced anytime?