8 year olds are not only talking and joking about sex, they’re having it. Hell 8 year olds are committing suicide. I grew up in the 80s and we were definitely playing doctor and more, we had porn stashes in a bush in the woods somewhere (boys you know what I’m talking about). Waiting to have the talk until 14 is how you end up a grandparent before 40.
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Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 18 hours agoI think of infants/babies from 0-1, children/ from 1-12, and teens from 13-19. And they don’t do sex ed where I’m from. I’m 42, and still my dad doesn’t think I’m old enough for the talk.
But if I were a parent, I’d probably do it around age 14. Enough time that they’ve felt some of puberty, and enough to understand what I’m talking about, but young enough that they haven’t done something stupid yet.
Last thing you want is for you to sit down your 8 year old kid, and try to have the talk, only for them to react with “eeewww cooties!” And for a kid? Yeah. That would be the correct response.
turtlesareneat@piefed.ca 17 hours ago
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 16 hours ago
Well, this just goes to show my original comment about if you’re raising your kid right, they won’t know about sex.
I ALSO grew up in the 80s, and I was watching peewees playhouse, and mr rodgers, and teenage mutant ninja turtles. I had no clue what sex was until 14/15. And didn’t have sex until I was either 17 or 18.
If your kids are willingly having sex at age 8, you’ve failed your child. If they’re being raped, I wouldn’t call that “having sex”, but the rapist needs to die.
Supercrunchy@programming.dev 12 hours ago
In some countries (like Iceland), children have sex for the first time at age 16 on average [0]. That’s the average age, which means 50% of all people have already had sex before then.
If you wait to talk to them until 14, there’s probably a good chunk of them who will have had sex before even knowing what sex is, and many more that will grow up with the very skewed idea taught by porn. And nowadays kids will stumble upon porn even if you try to prevent it (friends, etc.).
You might not like this and it might be different from your experience in the past, but it is IMHO better to have a discussion and teach them that most of what they see is as fake and scripted as an action movie, teach them what is safe, than having them learn dangerous stuff from friends and porn or improvising by themselves. IMHO making this such a taboo topic also helps abusers and pedophiles, because it makes it harder for the kid to actually talk about abuse and report it.
[0] https://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/virginity-map-average-age-people-first-have-sex-by-country-33094921.html?guccounter=1
dellish@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
Ich N the Netherlands sex ed starts around gerade 3. Incidentally they also have one of the lowest rates of teen pregnancy. I’m sure those two facts aren’t related though…
Micromot@piefed.social 12 hours ago
Sex ed at a young age is important so children know when an adult is doing something they shouldn’t to them. In my school we had it the first time in 3rd grade to make children understand what is and isn’t normal to happen or for adults to do
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
I got the talk formatted as a series of age appropriate conversations across growing up and it was very good for me. A little kid should know the names of genitals, what a bad touch is, and that they can say no to being touched. A kid should know what puberty is and what they can expect from it before it happens as well as that babies come from pregnancy. A pubescent kid should know enough not to make stupid choices before their body pushes them to make those choices. And at every age, you should answer any questions they have in an age appropriate manner.
Yeah it’s awkward and uncomfortable, but this is a part of life and if you don’t talk to the kid about this stuff their peers or the internet will, and you really want the person explaining these sensitive topics to your child to be a mature adult with their best interests in mind. It’s much better to get an “ew I’m not feeling that way” than “don’t worry, [influncer] has already told me all about this”
DarkCloud@lemmy.world 16 hours ago
Fair enough.
frustrated_phagocytosis@fedia.io 17 hours ago
Pretty sure you should warn someone that they can get pregnant before they hit puberty. 14 is too old for that.
CuddlyCassowary@lemmy.world 17 hours ago
Yeah - like 11 or 12 is hopefully “safe.”
yakko@feddit.uk 15 hours ago
My wife’s approach is to have the talk early and repeatedly - but with an age appropriate level of detail. Our 8 year old knows that kids come from mama’s belly. He knows what bodies look like (sneaky guy always peeking on us). He also knows that romantic love is a different kind of thing. Unintentionally he also knows the word sexy, which I blame on pop music. I don’t think he knows what it means, at least.
Funny though; once he advised us, unprompted, that “boys have a penis, and girls have hair.” We’re trying to raise him without prudishness or body issues, and with enough knowledge to avoid the mistakes he already seems so likely to make. I’ve never known anyone so impulsive in my life.
kossa@feddit.org 14 hours ago
Hm, are y’all kids not asking questions? Like, my five year old basically knows everything, 'cause she asks and we answer ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
It’s like “how does the baby get into mama’s belly, though?” and here we go. But what’s wrong about that anyway?
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 16 hours ago
…you’re worried about a kid getting pregnant, but also being advertised penis pumps to?
Gotta say, I don’t think that’s gonna be an issue…