Do what I did…
Buy a 3d printer.
Design and print a funnel that can clip under the rim of any toilet that diverts some of the water up your arse.
Do the poopiest of poops.
Clip the AnywayBidet™ on to the toilet.
Flush toilet.
And, BOOM, you now know why I’m banned from every ikea in the UK.
Ok, maybe I should’ve tried it in the actual toilets rather than the showroom area. Either way the AnywayBidet™ is a surefire way to get people talking!!
they make these things called “peri bottles”. they hold about 16 oz of water and make excellent portable bidets. i steal them from hospitals (no i’m not joking i take at least two every visit, for what i’m paying i should take a gross). fill them with warm water before you pop in to do your business (if you have time. i recognize i’m talking about luxuries not everyone has. i would keep two in my bag full of cold water at all times and one empty just in case i had the time to get warm water. this is literally why i started carrying a purse back when i was a boy)
i was just commenting above: i know the “portable bidet” as the “peri bottle”. i used to be a frequent flier in the hospital and they’re a standard hospital supply. i could always walk out with two or three per visit. like shit, i remember walking in once and asking if i could buy some, they sent me to housekeeping, filled my bag up and told me to run for the exit. ymmv but y’know
I think peri-bottles are a bit more contoured/angled specifically for women’s parts, especially pregnant women. Whereas the portable bidets are not quite so angled. The targeted hole is slightly different.
tpihkal@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
At home, sure, but not available anywhere else I go. And as they say, “my boss makes a dollar and I make a dime…”
D_C@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Do what I did…
Buy a 3d printer.
Design and print a funnel that can clip under the rim of any toilet that diverts some of the water up your arse.
Do the poopiest of poops.
Clip the AnywayBidet™ on to the toilet.
Flush toilet.
And, BOOM, you now know why I’m banned from every ikea in the UK.
Ok, maybe I should’ve tried it in the actual toilets rather than the showroom area. Either way the AnywayBidet™ is a surefire way to get people talking!!
rockerface@lemmy.cafe 2 weeks ago
Wet wipes make do. Not a perfect approximation by any means, but better than dry wiping with what feels like a wad of sandpaper
tpihkal@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
They all wreck havage on plumbing regardless of whether they claim to be flushable. Don’t be that ignorant person.
baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
rockerface@lemmy.cafe 2 weeks ago
I usually toss them into the bin instead of the toilet. If there’s no bin, sorry, I value my ass being clean more.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
they make these things called “peri bottles”. they hold about 16 oz of water and make excellent portable bidets. i steal them from hospitals (no i’m not joking i take at least two every visit, for what i’m paying i should take a gross). fill them with warm water before you pop in to do your business (if you have time. i recognize i’m talking about luxuries not everyone has. i would keep two in my bag full of cold water at all times and one empty just in case i had the time to get warm water. this is literally why i started carrying a purse back when i was a boy)
AlligatorBlizzard@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Oh so you’re the reason HCMC is bankrupt.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Not for that reason but maybe?
SailorFuzz@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
My friend, allow me to introduce you to the portable bidet:
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
i was just commenting above: i know the “portable bidet” as the “peri bottle”. i used to be a frequent flier in the hospital and they’re a standard hospital supply. i could always walk out with two or three per visit. like shit, i remember walking in once and asking if i could buy some, they sent me to housekeeping, filled my bag up and told me to run for the exit. ymmv but y’know
SailorFuzz@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I think peri-bottles are a bit more contoured/angled specifically for women’s parts, especially pregnant women. Whereas the portable bidets are not quite so angled. The targeted hole is slightly different.
tanisnikana@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
That was a poem for a simpler time.
And now my boss makes a grand And I don’t see one cent And he’s got employees That can’t pay the rent
__hetz@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Boss makes a billi I’ll die a renter Drive company vans Through his data center
tpihkal@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
-ted kaczynski -“Michael Scott”