I also wonder what a correct approach would be. When I was young, I was very lonely. It took a long time for me to realize that I was the problem. Actually, now that I think about it, what would probably help a lot is therapy being broadly available to anyone. Talking to other people, especially trained professionals, and listening to their opinions is so incredibly helpful. Only spending time inside your own head or online is super toxic and nothing good ever comes from that.
Comment on Anon is forever alone
orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
This is a huge deal. Truly. Male loneliness in particular is a swollen lithium battery ready to be poked. I doubt it will be addressed correctly. I have no idea how to fix it and infinite empathy for anyone, male or female, going through this.
red_bull_of_juarez@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
taygaloocat@leminal.space 1 day ago
I know he’s a right-wing nut job now but I found Jordan Peterson really helpful in my youth. “Clean up your room”, “dress like the person you went to be”, “happiness is fleeting, and suffering requires constant meaning”.
His old stuff was simple and straight forward, good lessons for a lost young man
misteloct@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 hours ago
I know he’s a right-wing nut job now but found Hitler really helpful in my youth. His old stuff was simple and straight forward, good lessons for a lost young man
taygaloocat@leminal.space 11 hours ago
Comparing Jordan Peterson to Hitler… What a retard. 🤦🏻
misteloct@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 hours ago
Jordan Peterson, that Russian plant on the Kremlin’s payroll? I’m not comparing him to the murderer Hitler. Hitler did nothing wrong in his youth that we know of. Also look up hyperbole.
apotheosical@lemmy.world 1 day ago
This isn’t a complete solution, but joining groups for interaction is a start. Book clubs, game clubs, sports, movie clubs, whatever it is as long as it’s social and in person. Put up a flyer on community noticeboards for an activity you like, alternatively.
Volunteering can also help. Being part of a community, being seen and contributing can make all the difference to starting the process.
This isn’t a solution to depression or any mental health issue. It’s a possible way to begin creating connection though.
rumba@lemmy.zip 23 hours ago
It’s messy AF
Guys are afraid of rejection, but also not great at making themselves more appealing candidates. That whole woman chooses the bear thing is real, even if, in general, we’re not worse than the bear.
From the woman’s standpoint, if they let the guy in and get knocked up, they might end up having to raise the kid and maybe deal with some asshole for 20 years. Statistically, they have more to lose.
It’s even harder when you’re young because you don’t want someone with kids, or issues, or baggage, but then being uncharismatic and mediocre is seriously underrated baggage.
We need male boot camps for loneliness with counselors and coaches. Help people work on their empathy, see what the other side sees and figure out how to work toward improvement to the point where they can find what they’re looking for.
Soapbox@lemmy.zip 23 hours ago
The new season of King of the Hill, S14E9 “No Hank Left Behind” nailed that boot camp thing. Starts off as an Andrew Tate parody, ends with Hank teaching a bunch of near incels the error of their ways.
rumba@lemmy.zip 5 hours ago
I had no idea, i’ll have to dig it up! Thanks!
shneancy@lemmy.world 1 day ago
oh it is not getting addresses correctly.
there’re many grifters out there taking advantage of lonely men - they promise turning into a chad and getting laid… if you just buy this course of mine and oh btw its a subscription model website.
then there’s 4chan and the infinite sea of incels with their various pills pushing people further into feeling like victims oppressed by women (a nifty distraction from the real problem of society’s constant push towards individuality and capitalism’s constant battle to destroy public spaces) and giving up on even trying to get out of their homes. once you see yourself as an incel being pathetic becomes a personality trait, and internalising that can make getting out of that hole incredibly difficult.
women obviously are also affected but their bonds between each other seem stronger, maybe because they are allowed to hug each other without being called slurs.
so yeah, the problem is being address in all the wrong ways. even the talk of man specific societal issues is incredibly rare outside of the grifter spun narratives to get you to buy their courses or reinforce your feelings of being pathetic.
most people are focused on women’s rights - which yeah, they should - but i don’t think those two issues are disconnected. after all, the more lonely the men, the more it’s the “women’s fault”, the more hateful they are towards them, the worse both problems get.
now how do we get out of this pit?
Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 1 day ago
I doubt it will be addressed correctly
Anything you want to talk about, my dms are open.
orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Dude, I’m fine. I’m worried for others. Thanks, though!
davidgro@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Just recently I was imagining a dating site that doesn’t use profiles, just randomly matches people with compatible age and gender settings (weighted by proximity and how long they have waited for a match) and trying to think through how it might work.
There would have to be a penalty for rejecting a match before setting up a date or for cancelling on them, such as a delay before being able to request another match (and maybe double the delay each consecutive time)
Anyway this would eliminate the whole ‘5% of men get 90% of dates’ thing (whatever the real numbers are) - after requesting a match eventually everyone would get one. There would of course have to be a report system for actual problem people. And likely straight women would get dates much faster (more frequently) than straight men, but still more evenly distributed.
Quexotic@infosec.pub 1 day ago
I think it got poked by the right in the '24 elections and its continually stoked by social media. I hear there’s even a Luddite movement on response to it.
This is of course a vast oversimplification of a complex interplay of factors, but here we are, looking down the barrel of a political movement that’s taking full advantage of our isolation.
I feel for the lonely. I remember being alone.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 4 hours ago
Simple fix: AI will just be…better than humans, in the sense that it will be predictable and sycopantic to them, so humanity will de-grow fast.