Yeah, I hate these stories for the amount of Big Ethical Talk it beings out in people. “I would stand by my partner no matter what” is the “I could fight a bear” of emotional labor. Unless you’ve had a serious illness or been very close to someone who has (not parents or siblings, a voluntary relationship), then you just really don’t know what you’re talking about.
Comment on Excuse the fuck me?
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 3 weeks agoSerious illnesses can be horrifying to watch someone go through and poverty routinely seperates loved ones.
Standing by someone in a terrible - perhaps terminal - condition is absolutely an incredible challenge and shouldn’t be dismissed as anything less than that.
A big reason you want to stand by your partner in perilous circumstances is because you want them to be there for you. And another big reason is because you might not get any more moments together than this, so make them last.
In a place like America, where sick days are a luxury and health care can still bankrupt you, being at someone’s bedside is a cross to bare. Be happy when you’re not carrying it. Don’t be so quick to judge when someone else can’t.
codexarcanum@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Anyone can fight a bear. Just not for longer than a couple of seconds mostly. But that’s no reason to give up on your loved ones before even trying.
admin@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
Unless you’ve had a serious illness
Can you shed some light over this part
MyDarkestTimeline01@ani.social 3 weeks ago
Well as an argument I can agree with you. There is a lot to be said for “you don’t know until it happens”.
That being said, we aren’t discussing the broad strokes, we’re looking at this meme. And from context and wording shows not pragmatism, but self centered behavior(please note the intentional distinction between selfish behavior and self centered behavior).
red_bull_of_juarez@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
Yeah, exactly. I don’t see this as black and white as it’s made out to be. Where’s the point in cancer or another serious disease ruining two lives? Sure, sometimes people leave for selfish reasons. But protecting yourself is not selfish, it’s essential for survival. If you stay and support a sick person, that makes you a good person. Leaving someone because you cannot handle dealing with the disease emotionally or financially doesn’t automatically make you a bad person.
Bo7a@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
Unless you have made a conscious vow otherwise.
red_bull_of_juarez@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
That whole “'til death do us part” is some ancient bullshit. People change, situations change. Sticking with a bad situation because you once said “in good times and bad times” even if it is destroying you is some toxic-ass bullshit.
Bo7a@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Once again a comment replying to something I didn’t fucking say.
Contrarian bullshit is so chic.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
I think if someone had to take care of me like that in this world, I’d just off myself to be honest. I mean, I was already contemplating it some months ago, and seeing how my job stops me from doing anything, it’s on the table, obviously.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Americans owned roughly $31.63 trillion in foreign assets by the end of 2022
shrug
YtA4QCam2A9j7EfTgHrH@infosec.pub 3 weeks ago
I literally was a caregiver for ten years (full time six of those years). My wife recently died. I was astonished by the number of people who told me to leave her. wtf is wrong with people. You don’t abandon people who are suffering.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
That, Idfk. One thing to collapse under the pressure. Another thing to get up in someone’s business and say something so vile.
NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Damn. You’re a strong person. I’m sorry you had to go through that, but I’m sure you staying by her side made those years more beareble for her. I’d like to think I’d do the same, but I hope I never have to find out…
YtA4QCam2A9j7EfTgHrH@infosec.pub 3 weeks ago
Eh, I was just doing what I had to do for the person I loved. But thank you. I hope you don’t have to find out either. It is really cursed knowledge
InputZero@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I mean depending on your situation that could be the best option. Option one, stay with your partner, watch them die and experience that trauma, then when they are dead you’re on the hook for all their medical debt, and you may have lost your job for taking so many days off. Option two, leave your partner, live with the guilt of that, avoid the trauma and inescapable life long debt. Neither option is good. It would be nice to have the time off and not be burdened with an enormous amount of debt but that’s just not the world we live in.
YtA4QCam2A9j7EfTgHrH@infosec.pub 3 weeks ago
It would have been objective the better idea for me to abandon my wife with this logic. Because caring for her was hard and definitely shortened my life and left me heartbroken.
But the logic is vile. You do not abandon your loved ones when they are in need
Bo7a@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
Love and respect are not like columns in a fucking spreadsheet.
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
That’s pretty gross, dude.