MLM actually have higher condom use rates than MLW. It wasn’t the case before AIDS, because they didn’t have to worry about pregnancy and all of the STIs were pretty treatable, but they pivoted once they had a compelling reason.
Comment on Anon thinks there is a bicurious double standard
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
There are legitimate reasons for avoiding bi people in a straight relationship. Straight folks use contraceptives a fair bit more frequently than gay folks, for instance, leading to lower sti rates. Risk of infection is a legitimate concern and an awkward conversation in a fledgling relationship.
But, from what I’ve seen, it’s largely just not understanding how you’re meant to act in a relationship with a bi person and ingrained bigotry. Everyone is at least a little jealous, but you can’t remove your partner from the entire populace. Half is a big ask but doable. 100% is just abuse. Despite the world becoming safer and more accepting, we’re still dumb animals that ping ancient and irrelevant instruction sets, and ostracism is one of the oldest.
kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 days ago
TimewornTraveler@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 days ago
Jesus christ, if you’re so insecure you can’t bear the thought of your partner being in proximity to ANYONE else, maybe you’re the abuser here
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
To be clear, this paragraph where I state that it’s largely bigotry and insecurity that drives potential partners away, it read as though it was written about me and my specific perspective on my dating bi people?
TimewornTraveler@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 days ago
it read like this: “to be fair, sometimes hitting your spouse is justified. after all you can’t have them talking back to you, right? wait, what, you think I’m talking about my own experiences and perspective?”
like, yes dude, I dont even know you beyond the things you shared. as far as I’m aware, your entire existence is what you said, and the person behind the screen is kind of irrelevant.
not dating someone bi because of STI risk is ignorant and bigoted. I get that it’s a perspective. it’s a shitty misinformed one. no need to explain it here unless you’re advocating for it. jealousy is equally shitty. it’s controlling. essentially what the perspective says is that bi people are harder to control.
i get the desire to understand the mind of hatred… but as they say, maybe not every time we see a literal devil we should think “hey that guy could use an advocate!”
DrivebyHaiku@lemmy.ca 4 days ago
Dude… Bi people still do monogamy and a lot of them don’t want polyamory or cheating. If you have a problem keeping to a single person that’s a you thing, don’t project it onto others.
Calling it “abuse” is really fucking weird.
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
Apologies for copy pasting but,
To be clear, this paragraph where I state that it’s largely bigotry and insecurity that drives potential partners away, it read as though it was written about me and my specific perspective on my dating bi people?
DrivebyHaiku@lemmy.ca 4 days ago
It was more your entire second paragraph that hinges on the idea that just because bi people are potentially attracted by both sexes that it is unfair and “abuse” to expect bi folk to desire monogamy or make monogamy work. That’s a pretty old fashioned form of biphobia that projects that a bi person is either incapable of being satisfied by any one person like a straight or gay person is or that they are more likely to stray or be a problem for their partners.
It isn’t abuse to expect a partner to be faithful.
Some bi people cheat or go in for polyamory because some people cheat or go in for polyamory regardless of gender or sexually . Bi people are not especially predisposed. Projecting your own wandering eye and assuming that is a more universal problem for people of a different sexuality that negates their viability in a form of romantic relationship isn’t cool.
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
That was my point. I get the impression folks here haven’t dated immature people before
starchylemming@lemmy.world 4 days ago
aaand thats why most of them just shut the fuck up and keep the past adventures to themselves
you usually don’t talk in detail about previous women either.
davidagain@lemmy.world 4 days ago
I suspect that men who have sex with men are more prone to STIs because they have a lot more sex with a much wider pool of partners, not because they’re less careful statistically.
SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 4 days ago
- literal propaganda from the Aids epidemic
DrivebyHaiku@lemmy.ca 4 days ago
Some people in a general sense are sluts. This is an old assumption that bi and gay folk are more sexually careless that hasn’t really been true since the aids crisis.
Fun fact, wherever there is stigma or barriers in seeking health care or populations that are discriminated against you see higher rates of STIs because people wait longer to check on things that go wrong and don’t catch them before they take hold. This includes immigrant populations, religious minorities in hostile cultures, queer people, racial minorities, homeless populations… They aren’t all rawdogging it, these groups often feel they can’t be honest with a doc or fear being rejected from healthcare situations. Some queer folk have trauma around medical care in the past. Where management and early testing drops off disease transmission becomes more common.
You will see old studies positing the multiple partners thing but the cutting edge data has seen this is a problem faced by multiple populations with the core of the problem sourced and traceable to the degree of stigma against the patients.
daggermoon@lemmy.world 4 days ago
I’m straight and I couldn’t give a fuck less who a partner fucked before me so long as it was legal and ethical.
Feathercrown@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Username checks out
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
26
Could you list a point I made that you’d disagree with? Aside from contraception use, I take that one back.
Feathercrown@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Everyone is at least a little jealous, but you can’t remove your partner from the entire populace. Half is a big ask but doable. 100% is just abuse.
The idea that you somehow cannot trust a bi person because they have more potential partners is patently ridiculous. Forbidding your partner from seeing people of an entire gender is similarly ridiculous. I’m not sure what your point is here exactly, but this perspective is certainly sad.
SwingingTheLamp@midwest.social 3 days ago
??
I’ve never heard of gay people ever using contraceptives. That’d be silly.
Honytawk@feddit.nl 4 days ago
You have to check that with EVERY sexual partner, not just gay or bi ones.