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Comment on My boyfriend feels weird about sleeping over at my place because I live with my parents. How can I help him loosen up?

orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

I am not sure why everyone here isn’t seeing the obvious. You’re 20 and live at home. He’s 25 and is a guy. You’ve been together for 4 weeks. 30 days.

Your parents don’t “love” him. They are just tolerant and probably happy he’s not an awful goober.

You are a love-stuck 20 year old and may potentially not be picking up on cues or grasp the nuances of parenting and having an adult offspring in the house.

He’s a guy, 25, and has likely heard his share of mischaracterizations from parents, or possibly been in a situation where he got caught sleeping over as a teenager… Or any other number of things fresh in his head from also being young.

Neither of you have true license over this relationship while you’re not a fully autonomous person. Sleeping over at your place is going to feel weird at 30 days or 3 years if you live with your parents.

Give the guy a break. It’s not a comfortable situation.

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cdf12345@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Oh man this ^

Perfect response

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- scarabic@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  Pretty condescending though and makes a lot of age based assumptions.
  
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CrayonDevourer@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

love-stuck

Love-struck.

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- orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  Typo: as in, I was slapping keys at 6:45am and couldn’t see.
  
  Thanks.
  
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  - SARGE@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    They’re being helpful and assuming you may genuinely not know the word, and are giving you the correct version for the context.
    
    Getting defensive isn’t needed.
    
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    orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Sometimes context will inform the reader whether or not the writer genuinely made a mistake or was ignorant. I’m just being helpful here, so don’t get defensive.
    
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    Tiger666@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Explaining your typo is not being defensive.
    
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Etterra@discuss.online ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
This is probably the best response. Just chill and he’ll be fine.

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drmoose@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Unless they come from a culture where living with your parents is absolutely normal which is surprisingly still very common.

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- KumaSudosa@feddit.dk ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  In that case it wouldn’t be that common to have a “casual” boyfriend coming to sleep over after a month though
  
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FireRetardant@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
I’d argue comfort could come after more time together in the right circumstances. Many couples choose to live with one sides parents to save money given the housing shortage many countries are facing. The catch is, this typically only works when both the parents and the couple are respectful of each others privacy and boundaries. This often equates to turning a basement into an apartment with sperate bathroom and kitchen/kitchenette.

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- orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  She’s 20. Two years ago she was in high school, friend.
  
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WhyJiffie@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

paying your own rent and having your own place

slightly off topic, but this is a contradiction. if you are paying rent, that is not your own place.

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- orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  Can you just not.
  
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- agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  It is in the ways that matter here. “Own” here refers to being independent from your parents specifically, not property ownership.
  
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