Seriously? I have to tell my wife. She’s sometimes open and sometimes closed to the idea of a threesome or just bisexuality.
Comment on bisexual
Gorilladrums@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
The most biphobic people I’ve ever seen are gay people. They hate bi people more than your average straight homophobe hates gay people. It’s really weird.
altphoto@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
Gorilladrums@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I mean it’s obviously different from person to person, but the gay people I’ve met, especially lesbians, have a genuine irrational fear and hatred of bi people. They’re terrified that bi people will cheat on them or will leave them for straight people. They see them as straight people who are pretending to be gay rather than actually being bi.
theangryseal@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Wellll, my wife is bi. I have a constant (not really constant, just when my insecurity is dragged out by a nightmare or something) nagging fear that she’ll leave me for a woman one day. (I’m a man).
Maybe it’s just an extra layer because it potentially opens more doors.
You know how some things people say just echo in your head forever? You hear a thousand points from a thousand people and most of it just goes in one ear and out the other, but something sticks for some reason or other and it just echoes in your brain.
An idiot, misogynist, redneck said to me, “once ‘ey get uh little pussy it’s a matter uh time. They want it like anybody who wants it, and they won’t go without it forever.”
When I’m feeling particularly insecure, that dumb shit just shows up in my brain.
I’m aware that I’m being stupid. I don’t express this to my wife because I’m being stupid and I know it.
Well, overly stupid people scream their insecurities out loud constantly.
I’ve met some really, really stupid gay people. They’re people like anyone else, of course.
The truth is, if I were to hand myself over to my sexuality entirely, I’d be fucking as many people as I could as often as possible. My sexuality isn’t all I am. It’s a small part of who I am. I just have to trust that my wife is as serious about us as I am. She hasn’t given me a reason not to trust her.
I guess my point is, idiot+insecure=bigotry.
If my wife ever leaves me for a woman, I won’t let it verify my insecurity. She could just as easily leave me for a man. No point in letting my insecurities make me a bigot. Gay people aren’t immune to bigotry.
bobo1900@sopuli.xyz 3 weeks ago
You said wise things, but I suggest considering expressing your wife these insecurities. Maybe that will help you come to terms with them and you can find some strategies so she can effectively reassure you.
blackstampede@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
I have very rarely had a bad outcome from speaking honestly and straightforwardly to people that I care about.
CookieOfFortune@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
At least anecdotally, I’ve seen it happen multiple times. There’s this subset in the dating pool who want to give meeting with other women a try.
drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
From my experience its a little different for women.
BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
reminds me of the scene in chasing amy where alyssa gets ostracized by her lesbian club because shes now dating a guy
LadyButterfly@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Yep it gets really nasty sometimes. We shouldn’t be shitting on each other like that.
Iceman@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
As ridiculous as it is, bigotry like this at least proves human universality.
HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
Pick a hole and stick with it, I guess.
Kolanaki@pawb.social 3 weeks ago
I like to think they’re jealous that we get rejected twice as much as anyone else.
Gorilladrums@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I never understood biphobia, a bi person choosing to be in a relationship with you means that they chose you out of everybody. It should be a feeling of flattery, not paranoia.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
When I came out to my wife, that was her reaction. I picked damn well