How will I find financial stability if I live in a third world country with a toxic sociopathic/narcissistic mother, I have no skills (at least I think so), no time and therefore no money?

Submitted ⁨⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨labbbb@thelemmy.club⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

I would like to add a description (details), but it would be a very long text.

In short: I have depression, multiple chronic illnesses, C-PTSD, ADHD, no money to rent on my own, poor physical and mental health, some basic things I don’t have money for, I don’t have a computer and it seems that my laptop will soon broken…

I can’t go to a psychologist because… the quality of education and medicine in this country is terrible, and it’s dangerous to say “everything” here, my mother recently worked, but now she’s left without work and starts doing some kind of crap, she was the one who brought in the income until this time; she feeds me fast food. In this country everyone doesn’t give a sh*t about each other, I am surrounded by “broken” people, this is a country full of cynics, sociopaths, and narcissists (consider mentally ill… and genetically defective, apparently).

Like this…

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labbbb@thelemmy.club ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
…the army of my moronic country has killed thousands of Ukrainian civilians, foreign media have been writing for a whole year that this country wants to start a war with NATO.

I’m really sorry, I don’t know what to do… I constantly live in stress, anxiety, with a feeling of hopelessness, depression, I’m procrastinate a lot…

Normal people, in principle, do not live in this country, and my mother does not consider me to be a person, as, in principle, most ruSSians (these mad dogs) treat each other.

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- r_13@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  Your English language is excellent, is that something you can use to your benefit?
  
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  - labbbb@thelemmy.club ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    Guys, I can understand pretty well what is said in the text in English, but I am not good at listening and speaking English. I can form sentences a little, but I sometimes make serious mistakes, such as putting the tense wrong.
    
    I used an online translator to write the text in this thread.
    
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- Candelestine@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  … yikes. That must be hell.
  
  You speak fluent English, any markets for that kind of skill in that area? Could teach maybe?
  
  Unfortunately, the time-honored tradition for people in your situation is to keep your head down, keep quiet and be careful. I imagine you probably already knew that though.
  
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- Hyperreality@kbin.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  
  Normal people, in principle, do not live in this country.
  
  They do, it's just that like you they've learnt to be careful about what they say, and to only look out for themselves out of hard experience. Or they once cared, but life ground them down, so they sought escape in alcohol or whatever.
  
  Not that this helps, but maybe it'll help you feel less lonely, when someone says something stupid. They may simply be pretending to be an idiot.
  
  Obviously, this is by design. If people were open about being unhappy about their country, this would threaten the government.
  
  I can't help you with work, but reading and podcasts can be a great help when you don't have access to mental health services.
  
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  - labbbb@thelemmy.club ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    The book you’re recommended is about PTSD, but not a C-PTSD, so I thinking if it’s make sense…
    
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  - labbbb@thelemmy.club ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    I smiled reading your comment.
    
    Thanks for the book recommendation. I already use a VPN, but piracy is bad tho
    
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BaroqueInMind@kbin.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
Enlist in your military and deploy to Ukraine, then while there find and kill your own commander. If you do this, you will have legitimately contributed a net positive to the world. Fuck the Russian military and government, it's a corrupt and unfixable shit stain on what is a beautiful country and culture.

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- labbbb@thelemmy.club ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  I just looked, Russia is in 11th place in terms of the number of suicides (Wikipedia), no?
  
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  - BaroqueInMind@kbin.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    Your country is known for under reporting to the severity of the suicide crisis your generation is having from your equivalent of your baby-boomers and oligarchs grifting from your countries corrupt social programs.
    
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andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
I’ve read the post and guessed the country right. Hello, fellow inmate. Sorry you share this faith.

Coding is a good investment in the future, you can read most sources on it too, so you are set. But that takes a lot of resilence to keep on going. I have many troubles with that, and I’m not well in the head too.

There are many little factories and businesses around that hire with a little to no experience and pay you hard cash. I’d consider that in order to fall from the radar. No medical bonuses but like they are worth it. It would occupy you and bring you a starting budget.

After getting some trust in yourself, you can try asking around other places. Shops are good too and they are constantly hiring. People also work in apps, but I’ve not heard anyone getting it big on them.

Freelance is another way, but you need skills. Writing works for others, doing arts on demand, checking items on e-shops, whatever. These pay peanuts, but generally easy to start if your hands know the tools.

If anything, get some way to distract youself would worth it too. People (the cooler ones), media, charities, hobbies. They are what keeps me going in spite of anxiety.

Also, some psychotherapists seem to work and be open, but you need locals who used them tell which ones since that’s a total hit-and-miss. Investigating VK groups can be a start. Expect it to be a private and paid one though. And more chances in big cities, obviously.

Переживи деда, друг.

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- FollyDolly@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  This is probably the best advice here. I’m rooting for you guys. Stay safe and do what you got to do.
  
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Blaze@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
Sorry to hear.

Getting a valuable skill would probably be the best way to improve your life

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- labbbb@thelemmy.club ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  Is it possible to learn a skill in 1 year and get a job?
  
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  - simple@lemm.ee ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    It really depends on what you’re aiming for and what your situation is. You know that more than anyone.
    
    My best advice is to try and learn something you’re genuinely interested in and something the market wants. Web development for example is usually a safe bet. Try to find communities whether local or online where people share the same goal, and surround yourself with people that can help you if you get stuck or give you good advice.
    
    Ignore your local education if it’s not helping you. There’s all sorts of materials and free courses online for everything. Even if it’s something as simple as cooking, that can be a good goal.
    
    Most importantly, have patience. Learning something new will take time and effort. Finding a job too might take time, but you can do it. Many people have. I’m also in a poor third world country but managed to get a remote job after finishing college.
    
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FollyDolly@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
Unfortunately, I think your best move would be to flee the country by any means necessary. Do you have any relatives or friends who live abroad? Even if you are sleeping on a air mattress on someone’s living room floor, it would be an improvement. I do not think the conditions in your home country will improve anytime soon.

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NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

In short: I have depression, multiple chronic illnesses, C-PTSD, ADHD

If these problems are all in the brain/nerves/psycho area, then maybe you can try manual work, like building construction, or plumbing, or roofing etc… these professions are needed everywhere, usually with an average income = better than poverty.

Just go somewhere and ask openly for a job.

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- labbbb@thelemmy.club ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  The entire business is under the control of the FSB mafia, accordingly, EVEN if there are jobs in my city (I do not live in a large city, but with a population of ~500k people), then they are all busy, because whoever is left in this garbage dump, now everyone is working, that is, the “density” of the Russian labor “market” is somewhere around 99.9%, other job offers are fraud.
  
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  - loomi@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    Can you join the FSB?
    
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- labbbb@thelemmy.club ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  If we talk about physical labor, you will have to work a lot and you will earn very little. However, you will receive your salary in rubles, and their value is falling and falling every day.
  
  Now the RuSSian Central Bank, as usual, is “artificially” holding the ruble (this bullshit has happened more than once), but you can’t fool the economy, and everything will go even worse.
  
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  - falsem@kbin.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    Gotta start somewhere. It would be enough to rent your own place and get out from under your mother.
    
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ViscloReader@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
I was about to suggest programmation but I reread and found out about the “no-computer” situation…

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crapwittyname@lemm.ee ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
Skills are just a development of a thing you practice. Get good at something you have some love for. Things like programming, mathematics, interpretation are very valuable things to be competent with, and can develop into many useful skills. But anything can be useful, if you practice it enough. Some things, usually art-centric skills tend to be a lot more difficult to use to earn money in my experience.

But take this advice from a former slacker: apply yourself to something and you’ll be rewarded.

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GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
In your situation I would probably try to learn programming.

You can start at home, little entry barrier

resources are found online

good programmers have huge income potential including internationally

are and will be in demand for the foreseeable future (with AI on the horizon maybe not as they are used now, but truly savvy people will be needed 100%)

if you manage to write something useful on your own you can possibly license it out and generate income that way
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- falsem@kbin.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  Missed the part where he doesn't have a computer?
  
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  - GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    He has one that might break soon ish, but getting a cheap basic computer together is really somewhat affordable, and I would say the best feasible option for someone in that position:
    
    Physical labor is out of the question, getting employed for something else requires prior qualification that he doesn’t have. The mental health issue will make of additionally difficult to be perceived as reliable.
    
    So the best course of option is to either up his qualifications or go in business for himself, both would be (more) feasible this way.
    
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8deus8@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
People have already offered you some good advice and I just want to send hugs and love from a fellow Mordorian.

I think before you start something, you may want to balance your mental state first. Not improving but balancing it would be a good start. I know that would be hard without proper medication and care, but still.

What worked for me was having several days or even weeks off Internet, social media, and being as far away from other people as possible. To avoid drama (you might know what I’m talking about), I would invent some reason to stay alone that wouldn’t raise suspicions in them like having to study or help a friend with some project. Then I would try to focus entirely on my body not thoughts, maybe take a walk or listen to fav bands in a way when you let music replace your thoughts so that it becomes your thoughts.

Actually, this resembles all that meditation shit, and sometimes it helps. Your goal is a detached attitude that you can use to make plans without having to consider any unnecessary feelings.

Once again, you’re not alone, I love you, and more people around are open to love than you think.

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- labbbb@thelemmy.club ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  I recently read the advice of using social media/reading the news every day for a maximum of 30 minutes and it helped me. Not only did I, let’s say, calm down a little, but I also stopped wasting time all day long.
  
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corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
learn punctuation.
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- ivanafterall@kbin.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  Sincerely go fuck yourself.
  
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