I'm high on life

Comments

• okwhateverdude@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  If you’re finished invading my privacy, may I return to work now? Or do you also want to look at my browser history? How about my social media accounts?

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  • Grilipper54@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    I had to take a background check last year that essentially gave them the rights to reach out to anybody that has possibly known me my entire life.

    For a job I was already working. So incredibly invasive.

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  • basxto@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    ok whatever, dude

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• DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  "No, I paid a prostitute to pee in a bottle. I mean, yeah, I'm weird."

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  • CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Well Mr. MacGyver, the good news is you are drug free. The bad news is you are pregnant and have herpes and syphillis.

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    • DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      That's OK, I don't believe in syphilis!

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  • bedwyr@piefed.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    You do need pee from the same sex as you they can tell easily.

    Heat it up, wear whitey tidey underwear, (which I hate,) and snug the pee on your taint.

    Last time I did that, the test people said it was a little hotter than it should be, I said it’s hot out and I walked here.

    Best though, if you quit for several days first, drink lots and lots of water to dilute your piss, then take a few vitamins to add colour to your pee. It works.

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    • DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Yes, you are correct. I was just joking, but any gender can be a prostitute.

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• Pattylay@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Let me get a hit of dat life my wizza

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  • titty_wizard@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Image

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• MrOtingocni@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  The great thing about being weird is that nobody knows when you’re on drugs.

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• over_clox@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  I only take positive drugs, negative drugs are so depressing…

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• protist@retrofed.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Hallucinogens don’t show up on most workplace drug tests

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  • Grilipper54@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    I see you passed the drug test; have you been coming into work on LSD everyday?

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  • bedwyr@piefed.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    LSD they have to do a spinal tap to test for. At least as of 20 some years back. I thought there was a test for mushrooms but not sure. I don’t think it’s a commonly tested for one though in any case.

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• Ramsesder13te@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  I love that tiny niche of memes made from pictures of Actors reading they’re script.

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• someguy3@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Weird doesn’t take drugs, or weird acts like that but isn’t on drugs.

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  • MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    I’ve stopped asking, got used to being judged I guess.

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