I just spent my entire rent money on vintage 240p JPEG files of soup, and I've never been happier. AMA.

Submitted ⁨⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨slovanox@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

Look, I know what you’re thinking: “Another guy who threw his money away for digital garbage.”

But you don’t understand. I finally achieved peak financial instability and with it, peak freedom.

I got an email at 3 AM from a guy named “SoupLord69” who was liquidating his entire collection of low-resolution, oddly-cropped JPEGs of various canned soups. I used the rent money I was supposed to pay last Tuesday.

Why This is Genius Inflation Proof: Try arguing the value of a perfectly preserved 2005 JPEG of minestrone soup. You can’t. It’s priceless.

Tax Evasion: How do you tax pure artistic genius? You don’t.

Maximum Chaos Per Euro: The chaos I’ve caused my landlord is worth far more than the soup JPEGs themselves. My dolphin has ascended.

I now live on a diet of ramen and digital soup, but I finally feel like I have control.

Is this the pinnacle of late-stage capitalism, or the only way to truly defeat it? Discuss.

(P.S. If anyone has a good contact for a “Cream of Mushroom” JPEG, please slide into my DMs. It’s the final piece of the collection.)

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Comments

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CameronDev@programming.dev ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Show us the JPEGs, I want to feel second hand financial instability

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- ebolapie@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  That’ll be $20
  
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  - CameronDev@programming.dev ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    These are worth $20
    
    Image
    
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nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
My boi, make NFTs out of them and sell them at insane prices, peak Sam Altman Status awaits you.

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pooberbee@lemmy.ml ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
They call me “financially irresponsible” when I am, in fact, responsible thousands of dollars of damage to my apartment! My landlord is suing me! Sounds pretty financially responsible, doesn’t it!

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GreenShimada@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
I recently received a similar email from LordSoup420.

Am I going to get scammed? It sounds like you have all of the vintage 240p JPEG files of soup. What’s left?

Did they offer you images of croutons as well? I have a few myself and was looking at getting serious about my collection.

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ZkhqrD5o@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
I have an idea. I’ll get one of my mates in on this. And so, this is how the three of us will do it. Now that you have the collection of Soup JPEGs, you can then transfer those to me on credit. So now I am indebted to you by whatever amount you wish. Then, my mate and I agree that he will invest into soup JPEG infrastructure. Hard drives, tapes, etc. it doesn’t matter. But I don’t have any money because I’m severely indebted to someone else. So we just agreed to pay with my soup jpegs. Now he has the Soup JPEGs and I have all of this massive infrastructure for all of the incoming market value and influx of demand for Soup JPEGs. Then just make up some nonsense to complete the circle in which you have the JPEGs and you are now indebted to him. Now since we have all created intense business dealings for the soup jpeg market we can now go to someone with real money and show them that there is this massive demand it’s just an upcoming market we have all of this infrastructure which we’re going to use and look at all of the people already in on this. Now’s your chance. Now, as soon as we get the investments into our Soup jpg business, we’ll just take the real money and bugger off to the countryside of Kenya and live off of our embezzled investor money. And the middle class, who were advertised to spend their money on this, by the investors,will pay the price. The three of us win, the investors win, and the middle class loses. Just like it should be.

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thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
This made me laugh. I gotta wonder who your main account is now… lemmy.sdf.org/modlog?page=1&actionType=All&userId…

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