One of my abusers has aggressive parents who are very strict and wake them up at 4 a.m. every day, and neither of them have very many friends nor boyfriends which they desperately want and are lonely. Should I feel bad despite how they treated me?
Honestly living well and not thinking about them at all is the best revenge you can enjoy. Just put them out of your mind and focus on other people. Worrying about them doesn’t do you any good, even if they aren’t doing well.
celeste@kbin.earth 4 seconds ago
You never have to feel a particular way. If anyone says you have to feel bad, or that you shouldn't feel bad if you do, they're wrong. Not how feelings work. Some people feel better knowing that their abusers are shit because their folks are shit, and it had very little to do with you, other than your convenience as a victim when they wanted to hurt someone. But what you feel just is.
I try to just look at what I'm feeling, and accept it, without judgement. Don't turn away, but don't dwell. It makes it easier to decide reasonable action later. Not detached from emotion (impossible) but understanding it as a part and not the entirety of behavior, where right and wrong start to come into play.