I love the trend of making trolley memes more and more obstruse.
WWYD
Submitted 2 months ago by fossilesque@lemmy.dbzer0.com to science_memes@mander.xyz
https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/pictrs/image/423adab6-c92b-4cd5-8ccb-cf74b900425e.webp
Comments
MarcomachtKuchen@feddit.org 2 months ago
AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 2 months ago
I agree, it’s one of my favourite internet things.
You may already be aware of this, but on the off chance that you’re not, here’s a cool thing: neal.fun/absurd-trolley-problems/
MarcomachtKuchen@feddit.org 2 months ago
I was but I thanks for sharing nonetheless. Its allways worth to shoutout neal.fun
HylicManoeuvre@mander.xyz 2 months ago
*abstruse
MarcomachtKuchen@feddit.org 2 months ago
Thank you, turns out I remembered a made up word.
Smokeydope@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Ez. I put myself into a box with a lever and a bomb. The bomb is activated by an OR gate with one input being 50% chance activated if the lever is pulled, and the other input is attached to an uncollaped wave function with a 50% chance of being measured or not.
This allows me to enter an undefined state beyond life and death, beyond position and momentum, to become the transitionary flow between something and nothing.
I then put myself and the box inside the quantum trolley, on the tracks, and on the side as an observer, at the same time (but only if nobody is watching). All my separate possibility phantoms may or may not pull the lever at the exact moment the trolley hits a quantum eraser.
If performed correctly, reality suffers an overflow error and the collective consciousness of the universe experiences what us humans would refer to as a aneurism.
As a part of automatic regenerative attempts to repair such devastating damage to the concept of causality, a series of tachyons are released at the epicenter of the incident causing a level-4∆ retroactive recalibration event. Boom, The quantum trolley never existed in the first place.
lastunusedusername2@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Finally, someone who understands Evangelion
sga@lemmings.world 2 months ago
let me ask you, you either would be a “barely undergrad” or a “post doc” and nothing between, so who are you - (and no, a superposition of those 2 is not allowed)
Smokeydope@lemmy.world 2 months ago
In the fictional trolly Im definitely undergrad think its way funnier that way especially if the solution actually works out.
In reality im neither an undergrad nor a post doc nor anything in between. I’m just some schmuck with a STEM degree. One who passionately enjoys understanding the behaviors of the universe and has extensively studied various topics including quantum mechanics and theoretical particle physics in my free time for many years.
lvxferre@mander.xyz 2 months ago
I do nothing. I went through QM classes in my Chemistry times and I still don’t get it. If I do nothing at least nobody can blame me for fucking everything up.
state_electrician@discuss.tchncs.de 2 months ago
I mean, the blame clearly lies on whoever created the fucking situation in the first place. I hate the trolley problem.
davidgro@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I feel like blame is the very obvious factor missing from most descriptions of trolley problems I’ve seen.
“Will it send me to jail?” is a highly important question for something that might easily be considered murder even if it does prevent other deaths.
match@pawb.social 2 months ago
the blame aspect is the original purpose of the trolley problem, it’s about whether the trolley puller can accept the moral blame of killing the one person (and saving 5 others) in the original postulation // is the trolley puller blameless for non-intervention even when intervention is trivial
match@pawb.social 2 months ago
this is what living in 2025 feels like
helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world 2 months ago
By the time I’m done analyzing the situation and determine the best outcome, the sun had already burnt out.
apotheotic@beehaw.org 2 months ago
I oscillate the lever at a rate such that I cannot know whether the wave-trolley went through while the detectors were on or off, introducing further uncertainty.
purplemonkeymad@programming.dev 2 months ago
That might not rule out hidden variables, the position of the lever should be determined by the polarisation of photons from the other side of the universe. That way you can at least rule out local variables.
emergencyfood@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Can I do multi-slit drifting?
ieatpwns@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Observe
sga@lemmings.world 2 months ago
is it too late for me to “teknikally - at trains de Broglie wavelength, the decoherence length is probably of the order of size of proton or maybe even less, so actually, the system became deterministic, pretty much as soon as trains started moving, and our lever pulling can only change the results between the (no certain death) and (certain death), and expectatition value of death is now just classical addition of probablities of these added (and not the wave additions) and so, non of the interpretations are required”
Zerush@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
I put the lever in the box with the cat, smeared with tuna, which also release the poison.
superkret@feddit.org 2 months ago
I run towards one of the slits and cover it with my body.
The trolley now behaves like a normal trolley made out of particles.
It instantly grinds to a halt since there are no rails on its side of the barrier.TonyTonyChopper@mander.xyz 2 months ago
wait till this guy hears about sciencefacts.net/…/Single-Slit-Diffraction.jpg
HowAbt2morrow@futurology.today 2 months ago
FarceOfWill@infosec.pub 2 months ago
As a good virtue ethicist I walk away from the lever and live my virtuous life
Probably by trying to beat up Persians. Or some other city state. Or slaves. You know, virtuously