Please be more specific about the actions that are to decide, when you say generally “to not have a disabled child”. IMMHO the whole ethical discussion, or any ethical answers are not possible without being completely clear on these specifics.
Is it wrong to not have a disabled child solely to avoid forcing the child to suffer their whole life?
Submitted 2 months ago by TokenEffort@sh.itjust.works to [deleted]
Comments
NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world 2 months ago
TokenEffort@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
I have a higher chance of birthing a developmentally disabled child if I actually do get pregnant. Is it wrong to be 100% against birthing my own child solely because of this.? I was misdiagnosed and was in an aba institution for 10 years, and dehumanized and alienated by family the whole time. When I got to a real high school, I was treated like an infant or a wild bear, nothing in between. I wholeheartedly believe that regardless of whatever I accomplish in my life, I would have been much better off never born, euthanized, or murdered.
I don’t want to force this experience on anyone else if I can prevent it from happening. It’s not just the abuse in the aba institutions but treatment literally everywhere. In high school everyone had brand name clothes, apple technology, brand headphones, etc. No one cared. I had off brand clothes, cheap headphones, a Microsoft Surface and a Galaxy phone, and was treated like a rich scumbag, like I was Brian Thompson’s privileged daughter who had everything because her dad made everyone suffer. Literally not having brand name clothes was status against everyone else. I couldn’t afford them even if I did want to wear clothes advertising the store it came from. I never understood the appeal of that. But everyone saw somebody below them with some nice things, and even worse, preferences.
Being a joke to the people who “love” you, having all your “friends” be people school staff begged to talk to you so you don’t kill someone, and having the same disorder that made you less of a human be the reason why you accomplished something mundane like passing a class with a 60 grade is just not a life worth living. Watching everyone else get to be real humans with real happiness, real hobbies and interests, and real personalities while you need to hide everything about yourself is not a life worth living. There’s just no reason to live on the wrong side of society. I wish my mother had just aborted me when there were signs I wasn’t going to make it. I’m not making the same mistake.
lurklurk@lemmy.world 2 months ago
You have every right to not have kids. This reason is as valid as any.
I’m sorry for your experience. I hope you’re doing better now
RBWells@lemmy.world 2 months ago
You write so well, hope you can find your way to a better time, and NOBODY is obligated to have children, full stop. No matter why they don’t want them. Not even the person who might birth the person who saves the world. Nobody. You don’t need an “acceptable” reason or to explain yourself to anyone. It’s your life.
NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Is it wrong to be 100% against birthing my own child solely because of this.?
No. It actually seems very plausible.
In addition, I would recommend to seek a therapy because sich heavy trauma do not easily heal by themselves.
_cnt0@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
No.
21Cabbage@lemmynsfw.com 2 months ago
That is a hell of a moral question that I don’t think I or anybody else can answer for another individual.
RBWells@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I don’t think it’s immoral, and I also don’t think it’s immoral to have the child. It’s more complicated than “disability” or “ability”, if you can handle the job and give that kid the best life they could have had, short or long, love them and see it through, that is not immoral. If you know you cannot, and it would wreck your life or be very detrimental to your already born kids, it’s certainly not immoral to abort the fetus and focus on what you can do.
jagged_circle@feddit.nl 2 months ago
A species producing babies (when that species overpopulation has lead to mass extinction of other species) is immoral.
andrewta@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Depends on the level of disability we are talking about. Slightly hard of hearing, have the kids.
Blind, dead, mute, and numb to most sense of being touched. That’s just cruel.
But I guess are we talking aborting the fetus, or do you mean something else?