Well the Holy Spirit 100% has a dick given he was the one that inseminated Mary.
The Divine Dick
Submitted 7 months ago by Funkwonker@lemmy.blahaj.zone to [deleted]
https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/pictrs/image/167ebfec-0c14-4a38-bb41-1095a01c1fa9.webp
Comments
Jake_Farm@sopuli.xyz 7 months ago
Live_your_lives@lemmy.world 7 months ago
How do you know he didn’t use in vitro fertilization?
Jake_Farm@sopuli.xyz 7 months ago
In vitro means in an artificial environment. What would God make that could be considered artificial?
Allonzee@lemmy.world 7 months ago
“The sword of God, the blood of the lamb, vengeance is mine, millions of dead motherfuckers, all because they gave the wrong answer to the God question. ‘You believe in God?’
‘No.’
BANG Dead.
‘You believe in God?’
‘Yes.’
‘You believe in my God?’
‘No.’
Bang Dead.
‘My God has a bigger dick than your God!’”
-George Carlin
CommanderCloon@lemmy.ml 7 months ago
It’s not more heretical to claim that jesus wasn’t entirely human, quite the opposite in fact. It’s a very old theological debate of homoousianism vs heteroousianism vs homoiousianism (same substance, different substance, similar substance). This debate was settled in the 4th century and Arianism (heteroousianism) was rejected
Homoousianism - god the father is of the same substance as Christ, is the most prevalent vision nowadays, which means that Christ is purely divine and not human
TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com 7 months ago
This is why it makes more sense to believe in more gods.
More gods == more rational
Grail@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Capitalised pronouns ARE neopronouns. I use them, and I wrote an article on My blog about it: medium.com/…/introduction-to-capitalised-pronouns…
Forester@yiffit.net 7 months ago
Couple of fun facts about this :
so God themself while referred to in English as a he refers to themselves as ’ I am ’ technically I think we should be using they them pronouns but English was traditionally a gendered language.
Jesus on the other hand 100% had a dick. Whether he kept that or not, post ascension that’s up for interpretation but Jesus was 100% biologically male.
Bookmeat@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Yes, and the church went nuts displaying the “Holy Relic” that was his supposed foreskin for many, many years, in many churches… At the same time. It got so out of control that people started to wonder why the church was so obsessed with Jesus’s dick. So the Pope finally got a clue, commanded a stop to the practice, and threatened to excommunicate anyone who spoke about it afterward. Ah, Christianity. Good times.
superkret@feddit.org 7 months ago
There was a theory for some time that Saturn’s rings are actually Jesus’ ascended foreskin.
m0darn@lemmy.ca 7 months ago
Jesus on the other hand 100% had a dick.
Oh did they find his body?
olosta@lemmy.world 7 months ago
He is circumcised according to Luke gospel, so the dick biblically accurate.
Forester@yiffit.net 7 months ago
We are discussing biological sex as in the parts we are not discussing gender.
andros_rex@lemmy.world 7 months ago
My personal head canon is that Jesus was a transgender man (no Y chromosome). The “this is my Son, in whom I am well pleased” marks when God finally accepts his Son’s gender identity, and lets him start his minister (and hooks him up with HRT).
He could still be intersex AFAB. PCOS/CAH are both extremely common and you can end up with a clitoris that looks pretty close to a peen0r. Admittedly, that doesn’t make the circumscision part that much better - but well realistic, it’s gotta have happened at some point.
Brutticus@lemm.ee 7 months ago
In Exodus, Moses asked to see God’s face, and was not allowed to. God told him he would allow Moses to see his “back” instead. When I was a boy at Yeshiva, the prevailing wisdom was that God showed Moses the back of his neck, and his Tefilin knot. The Tefilin contains passages relating the Shema, and my Rabbis connected it back to how God has a devotion of his own to Israel in his tefilin (which this source also does).
The tefilin is a rite only permitted for men to practice, so I guess that’s ones thing for this meme. But the word used for back, אֲחֹרָ֑י, is more accurately translated as “butt.” Now why would God need a butt?
This is old Testament by the way. The J source for those who care, who often portrays God as a little earthier than the others.
KnowledgeableNip@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
Imagine going into a cave to see God and it’s just him bent over showing hole
Saprophyte@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Weren’t Asherah and Yahweh a consort pair? Wasn’t Baal their son?
Batman@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Why should every part of God need a purpose? What does efficiency mean in the face of unlimited power (palpatine.jpeg), or simplicity in the face of omniscience? Why does God have a penis? Cause he wanted one I guess. They are nice for peeing too.
PapaStevesy@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Peeing implies waste, which implies imperfection. If god were really God, his body would be 100% efficient and he wouldn’t consume anything he didn’t need.
Batman@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Maybe the pee is not waste, but spontaneously created to God’s will. " I want to pee, sure would be nice if I had a penis right now" - a diety that does not plan ahead, probably.
theacharnian@lemmy.ca 7 months ago
Nah, in its internal logic, Chalcedonean Christianity doesn’t have this problem. Jesus is defined as fully human and fully divine, and peeing is just part of being human.
sartalon@lemmy.world 7 months ago
One man’s waste is another man’s gold…
lefaucet@slrpnk.net 7 months ago
These good Mormon boys have wrapped your answer up in a nice little song
elliot_crane@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Hey christofash men, if everybody is entitled to their own personal and private relationship with god, and you should love god as he loves you, it’s totally legal for your wife to think about god’s massive peener while you’re having sex strictly for the purposes of procreation. Just noodle on that for a bit.
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Does that mean God has a neodick?