I think my neighbor is hacking into my wifi so he can try to steal my beer wtf should I do?

Comments

• DudeImMacGyver@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Just switch to open source beer

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• Sanctus@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  No, no. You have to line the trees with mirrors to reflect his hacking signals.

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  • PenisDuckCuck9001@lemmynsfw.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    What if I just dig a moat? Shovels are only $13.

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    • Sanctus@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      He’ll just fill it with alligators and wait you out.

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• ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Make sure your wifi is wired to the wall, then your neighbor’s crime counts as wire fraud. As a private, natural person, you might also look into some loopholes in the Uniform Commercial Code.

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• clockwork_octopus@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  If you can find a bear, it might be enough to distract the neighbor, and maybe he’ll share his trees with you

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  • PenisDuckCuck9001@lemmynsfw.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I could try to train an army of duck. They say the ducks at the park are free. I know a guy that has 2 pet ducks.

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• Lifebandit666@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Even if you manage to stop the WiFi hack he can still get in to your network through the ethernet ports. He could train an army of ants to pull a wire through a small hole in your wall and attach it to your router.

  Just in case, fill all your unused ports with yoghurt. This will drown the ants

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• nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Easy, buy a nice second hand microwave, remove any shielding from the rear part. Ask a skilled friend to make it microwave stronger. Put it as close as possible to neighb’s wifi. Switch it on, leave it on, hacking is now fixed.

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• juliebean@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  i recommend you invest in a good beer safe with a good fire wall. maybe a wall safe, and install it behind this painting.

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• guy_threepwood@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Just set up an unprotected network with a fun proxy:

  pete.ex-parrot.com/upside-down-ternet.html

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• Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  The solution is pretty simple:

  Either drink all your beer so he can still none, or turn off your wifi so he can’t hack.

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  • PenisDuckCuck9001@lemmynsfw.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    By now he has likely already hacked my wifi hard enough to know I have beer and is already plotting a heist.

    So I guess it’s beer drinking time.

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• zxqwas@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  You can use those plastic xmas trees as long as you have enough metal ornaments in them.

  I recommend metal tinsels because they are easier to ground.

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• abbadon420@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Have you tried a bonary tree? They can grow very fast and are very resistant against digital attacks.

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  • PenisDuckCuck9001@lemmynsfw.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    By now he has likely hacked my wifi hard enough to know I have beer and is already plotting a heist.

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• clover@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  [deleted]

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  • PenisDuckCuck9001@lemmynsfw.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Write a 20000 word essay about the evils of wifi hacking and why morons that hack into your wifi to steal you beer are total losers.

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• chevy9294@monero.town ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Juat drink all beer and he will have nothing to steal :)

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• Schmuppes@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Bamboo, dude. Will grow 100 ft tall in no time.

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• oo1@lemmings.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Replace beer with piss.

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