Lifebandit666

@Lifebandit666@feddit.uk

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Disposable vapes to be banned in England and Wales from June⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Personally I think they’re useful for one thing and one thing only, a gig/night out. When you don’t want to have some kind of battery pack to recharge your vape so you have a couple disposables in your pocket, and if you lose it, shrug, it cost a couple quid.

  That said, I back this ban wholeheartedly

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨BBC Weather app bug forecasts hurricane force winds in UK⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Everywhere you go

  Always take the weather with you

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Dozens from UK take up Putin’s offer to ditch ‘woke’ West and move to Russia⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  34 people from the UK according to the Torygraph. Loads

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Misinformation: Baseless claim about U.S. presidential candidate Kamala Harris crash spread by mysterious website⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Douch or turd sandwich?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Ticketmaster to be investigated by watchdog over 'dynamic pricing' of Oasis tickets⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Either way you’re paying lots of money to watch a man sing that can’t sing. At least with NOFX he wears a tutu too

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Ticketmaster to be investigated by watchdog over 'dynamic pricing' of Oasis tickets⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Kick back, watch it crumble

  See the drowning

  Watch the fall

  I feel just terrible about it

  That’s sarcasm, let it burn

  I’m gonna make a toast when it falls apart

  I’m gonna raise my glass above my heart

  Then someone shouts, “That’s what they get”

  For all the years of hit-and-run

  For all the piss broke bands on VH-1

  Where did all their money go?

  Don’t we all know?

  Parasitic music industry

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨In Leak, Facebook Partner Brags About Listening to Your Phone’s Microphone to Serve Ads for Stuff You Mention⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I had a friend bring up this very topic this weekend and I replied “What would be more creepy and more likely is that the ad giants have algorithms for working out what you’ll buy that are that good that they know what you want before you do and you’re just noticing how good it is”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Thames Water says it needs 59% bill rise to survive⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  To be fair it IS their job to take the piss. It is just that they should be processing it instead of pumping it into rivers and such

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨UK's first drugs consumption room to open in October⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  About fucking time a positive step was made.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨WITH ads? Fuckin awesome coupon, thanks!⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Guybrush Threepwood. Still got the new one to go at

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨WITH ads? Fuckin awesome coupon, thanks!⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I get “Can I talk like a pirate” from Jake and the Neverland Pirates appear in my mind.

  “I’ve been talking this way, since my birthdays began”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I think my neighbor is hacking into my wifi so he can try to steal my beer wtf should I do?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Even if you manage to stop the WiFi hack he can still get in to your network through the ethernet ports. He could train an army of ants to pull a wire through a small hole in your wall and attach it to your router.

  Just in case, fill all your unused ports with yoghurt. This will drown the ants

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Thames, Yorkshire and Northumbrian Water face £168m fines for sewage spills⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  …can you tell I didn’t read it? Thanks for that. 9% is fuck all really innit?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Thames, Yorkshire and Northumbrian Water face £168m fines for sewage spills⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  When they tell you a number is so you go “HOW MUCH? WOW” when they should be telling you the number as a percentage of profits.

  0.5% of yearly profits doesn’t sound as big does it? I mean I’ve made that number up, but the point stands.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨correct⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Follow the Left Hand Path

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I wonder if it will be friends with me?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Love it. I bought a sign saying “Beware of the Leopard” for my toilet door yeaterday

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Thank You!⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  If you notice this notice you will notice that the notice is not worth noticing, so why did you notice it?

  I remember seeing this when I was a kid, I’m old as fuck now

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨*doing my best google impression* Did you mean: turn in up?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Is that a kind of yellow?

  Listen to the song, see how it sounds to.you, it’s doggy do, and they were all BEIGE

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Looks like something straight from Warhammer 40K⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Yeah that’s what the dude said when he was showing us around, blew my preteen brain.

  I recently watched an episode of Hamiltons Pharmacopoeia where this lady was talking about her experience living with the guy that made all the LSD for the south of Britain back in the day. She fell in love with a pigeon.

  Anyway this dude was well into trepanning, thought it was a way to increase the brain capacity and expand the mind.

  She ended up trepanning herself on film and releasing the footage, yeah they watched it on the episode.

  She was a bit of an oddball but swears by it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Ironing⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Sometimes I iron. Someone mentioned school uniform and yes.

  But mainly I look at say a t-shirt and go “Meh” shrug and throw it on. Bang a leather jacket on and nobody knows it’s wrinkled and they fall out.

  Now we’re having our 1 week of summer in the UK I’m having to iron my t-shirts because it’s too hot for my jacket, but it’s only a week.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Looks like something straight from Warhammer 40K⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I went to a crypt in Britain as a kid, can’t remember where tf it was, but I still remember it because it was super interesting.

  It’s where I learned about Trepanning and how they did it back in olden times to “let the bad spirits out” and it actually worked because it reduced swelling around the brain by giving the blood a way out.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Extend success of UK sugar tax to cakes, biscuits and chocolate, experts urge⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Thing is the sugar tax seems to have done fuck all in changing the prices so sugar free options are cheaper. Whenever I look in the supermarket, Fanta and Fanta zero for example are the same price, which is just far more expensive than it used to be.

  So tell me how the sugar tax has made it healthier? I’m just gonna buy the full fat one if it costs the same.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I'm driving I get to control the radio!⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Haha yeah I’m certainly “Special” in my group of friends. We all go to the show but I make a mental note of where they’re all staying and getting myself to the front for a little bit.

  I try and get all the up-close shots of the stage while I’m thrown around the pit, and like to throw my phone in the air like horns with my video camera going.

  Then 10 minutes later when I’m sweaty and out of breath I go back to the pack and show em how sane they all are with the videos of the bedlam.

  Then I stick around and protect the pack when it all goes a bit mental further back.

  A lot of my people have chronic illnesses now so it’s nice for them to live vicariously though me. I get regular comments about “That time I watched you pirouette around the mosh pit like it was nothing” and I’m told it’s up there in theRe favourite memories.

  So I’ll still get in the pit, it doesn’t just make me happy that I can still handle it, but it makes my friends happy that they have that mad friend that goes into the thick of it and comes out unscathed.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I'm driving I get to control the radio!⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Are there still people around that mock the Nemos?

  I mean I used to because they were posers, but then it was 20 fucking years ago and now it isn’t, and I have a “Spooky till I die” badge on my jacket.

  To some of us it wasn’t a faze, it was just a step on the ladder to becoming awesome. Many fall off the ladder, hell a lot of people don’t even climb it, but those of us that do will rock until we die.

  Don’t mock the rock.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I'm driving I get to control the radio!⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Korn are coming to my little town in the north of England this year. I’m gonna hit the pit like I’m not 40

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Happy Father's Day.⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Exactly, it’s when the magic happens that it matters. Otherwise it’s smears all around

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Happy Father's Day.⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  No no, people don’t forget the egg, it’s just that the egg is just a bloody smear without the magic serum.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Happy Father's Day.⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Oh I feel this comment, after watching my Wife’s mother do the same thing to her all her life.

  “Say hi to your new Dad!”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨beholder⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  My Pa was a fireman, I’m fairly sure they would gladly have you, especially if you tell em why you’re there from the beginning.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨beholder⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I was recently party to my wife’s friend telling her she had held it and Wifey saying she hasn’t done that.

  Then she was all about it, had lots of fun too, so who am I to judge?