The dream of a quiet life

Comments

• bolexforsoup@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  You’ve got:

  • Shelter

  • Immortality

  • Tasteful antiques

  • Blood for sustenance which is pretty metal

  • A vibrant night life

  • Sex probably gets interesting AF

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  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Old Hungarian landlords trying to get a girl’s number on OnlyFans will say this all the time.

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• RiikkaTheIcePrincess@pawb.social ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I tried but ended up in some guy’s attic instead :-\ At least there’s free weed 🤷 😅

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  • Obi@sopuli.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Score!

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• Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Is it still a feminine urge if I’m a dude?

  And can I bring my wife? She’d love the big creepy castle AND the queen-of-the-dead vibe.

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  • variants@possumpat.io ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    You can be hers and the vampires blood bag

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• Num10ck@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  replace vampires with cats and you’ve got Enya.

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  • Sadrockman@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Shit. Livin’ the dream.

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• sudo42@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I suspect it has something to do with all the neck biting.

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  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Historically, the vampire’s bite aims for the nap of the neck, the décolletage, and the inner thigh.

    Why women would be into this remains a mystery.

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• Infynis@midwest.social ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Everyone has this urge. That’s why vampires are so dangerous

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• BobbyNevada@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  “BLEH! I’m sorry, I’m already in a committed relationship. Bleh!”

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• Sadrockman@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I want that,minus the vampire,and I’m a dude…although I’d split the castle with him,and any ladies that joined him,if they left me alone.

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• nifty@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Sure but would she still want him if he didn’t have the big creepy castle?

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• Kolanaki@yiffit.net ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  “What is a woman? A miserable pile of secrets!” - Dracula

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• therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Suspicious death due to blood loss

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• HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  That’s feminine?

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