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He revealed the secrets !

⁨419⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨ElCanut@jlai.lu⁩ to ⁨technology@beehaw.org⁩

https://jlai.lu/pictrs/image/3e9fe2fc-8286-40e7-8744-0b1ba59dda11.jpeg

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Comments

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  • sabreW4K3@lazysoci.al ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Framing libraries as cheat sheets is hilarious

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    • ulterno@lemmy.kde.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      It’s kinda fun to think of programming as magic.
      And “libraries” as grimoires/tomes .

      It’s surprising how far you can go with the analogy.

      source
      • Banzai51@midwest.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        My best comment ever in Reddit was describing Lord of the Rings to programming.

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    • jarfil@beehaw.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Back in the day:

      • Me: "Programming is fun, but interfaces are a PITA"
      • CS student: "What!? The algorithms I’m given to solve are really complicated!"
      • After a year on a job: “I hate testing user interfaces…”

      Some other day:

      • Me: "Programming is mostly copy&paste"
      • Engineering student: "What!? We have to come up with a new solution for every problem!"
      • After a year on a job: “I don’t program anymore, just copy&paste…”

      Told ya.

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  • GenderNeutralBro@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    I’ve never found a problem that can’t be exacerbated with Microsoft Access.

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  • BarryZuckerkorn@beehaw.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Hmm, is this a new take on the “Stop Doing Math” meme?

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  • mdhughes@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    “She”. The gag of SwiftOnSecurity is it’s Taylor Swift, posting infosec. Tho these days she mostly trolls like this.

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    • Sotuanduso@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Is it actually Taylor Swift?

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      • norbert@kbin.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        Of course, do you think people just go on the internet and tell lies?

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      • Artyom@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        Yes. If you think that’s cool, just wait until you need MargotRobbie@lemmy.world

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      • belated_frog_pants@beehaw.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        Yes. On the matter security.

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  • OttoVonNoob@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Me: Spends 4 hours making a pause menu… “I wish this was true… This man has not met the hell of a 50 state, 100 elif statement…”

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    • MxM111@kbin.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      We do what we can, because we must!

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  • nilclass@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    It’s like if farmers were just letting plants do all the work, instead of manually assembling the potatoes themselves

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  • jmcs@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    It’s like the joke about the invoice charging 0.10$ for a screw and 100$ for knowing which screw to replace.

    Coding is easy. Software engineering not so much.

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  • JaymesRS@literature.cafe ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    I love SwiftOnSecurity.

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    • pbjamm@beehaw.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      LLMs will replace the programmers right before they replace the satarists.

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      • FaceDeer@fedia.io ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        Me, a programmer facing replacement by LLMs:

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  • Banzai51@midwest.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    The job of a programmer is to reintroduce a bug that was fixed in the last patch.

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    • PenguinTD@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Merge needs some stomp, yeah, mine stomp yours.

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  • sukhmel@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    The biggest scam about programmers is they barely program

    He’s got a point, though, the further you go, the less time you spend inputting code. Although some people prefer to continue going head first and then remaking everything.

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    • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      like with many jobs you’re learning to only do the work that matters, and oftentimes when you can avoid doing work that actually improves the product.

      There’s a reason why construction workers aren’t making their own planks and nails, that would be horribly time consuming, inefficient, and they’d probably make shitty planks.

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      • sukhmel@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        Not trying to become an expert in everything was the most important decision I made so far, I think

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    • FaceDeer@fedia.io ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Over the past month I feel like all I've been doing is writing tech design documents for systems I don't actually know anything about because I haven't had the opportunity to go in and do anything with them.

      Fortunately I've finally managed to reach the point where everyone agrees that we should just start implementing the basics and see how that goes rather than try to plan it all out ahead of time since we're surely going to have to throw out the later plans once we see what we're actually dealing with.

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    • abbadon420@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      That is a lot of fun to do, most times. Also I need to provide for my family and the guys who pay my salary want their stupid features implemented like yesterday.

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      • sukhmel@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        I half agree about fun, think it depends on how often clients want some weird shit done yesterday, it becomes a nightmare if it happens too often :(

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    • agressivelyPassive@feddit.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Absolutely. I barely touch code anymore, but I talk about how to touch code a lot.

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  • mo_lave@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Why don’t they program using spreadsheets? Are they stupid?

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  • jarfil@beehaw.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Hello World — By different types of programmers

    High School / Junior High

    10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
20 END

    First Year in College

    program Hello(input, output)
 begin
    writeln('Hello World')
 end.

    Senior Year in College

    (defun hello
 (print
  (cons 'Hello (list 'World))))

    New professional

    #include
void main(void)
 {
  char *message[] = {"Hello ", "World"};
   int i;

   for(i = 0; i < 2; ++i)
     printf("%s", message[i]);
   printf("\n");
}

    Seasoned professional

    #include 
#include  
 class string
{
 private:
  int size;
   char *ptr;
 public:
   string() : size(0), ptr(new char('\0')) {}
   string(const string &s) : size(s.size)
  {
   ptr = new char[size + 1];
   strcpy(ptr, s.ptr);
   }
   ~string()
  {
   delete [] ptr;
   }
   friend ostream &operator  <<(ostream &, const string &);
   string &operator=(const char *);
  };
 ostream &operator <<(ostream &stream, const string &s)
 {
   return(stream  << s.ptr);
 }
 string &string::operator=(const char *chrs)
 {
  if (this != &chrs)
   {
    delete [] ptr;
  size = strlen(chrs);
  ptr = new char[size + 1];
     strcpy(ptr, chrs);
  }
   return(*this);
}
 int main()
 {
   string str;
   str = "Hello World";
   cout  << str  << endl;
   return(0);
 }

    Apprentice Hacker

    #!/usr/local/bin/perl
$msg="Hello, world.\n";
if ($#ARGV >= 0) {
  while(defined($arg=shift(@ARGV))) {
    $outfilename = $arg;
    open(FILE, ">" . $outfilename) || die "Can't write $arg: $!\n";
    print (FILE $msg);
    close(FILE) || die "Can't close $arg: $!\n";
  }
} 
else {
 print ($msg);
}
1;

    Experienced Hacker

    #include 
#define S "Hello, World\n"
main(){exit(printf(S) == strlen(S) ? 0 : 1);}

    Seasoned Hacker

    % cc -o a.out ~/src/misc/hw/hw.c
% a.out

    Guru Hacker

    % cat
Hello, world.
^D
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  • onlinepersona@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Spoken like a true normie 👍

    Anti Commercial-AI license

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    • twei@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Can ya please go back to the Drop-Down thingy for your license? It’s already annoying on its own, but it gets even more so when Voyager adds the Link-Preview

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      • onlinepersona@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        Dropdown doesn’t work for at least 2 clients. This is the best I can do.

        If it really does bother you, block me 🤷

        Anti Commercial-AI license

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      • vox@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        please don’t, it literally fills half the screen for me

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    • bitwolf@lemmy.one ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Hey, how do you get the creative Commons attribution to automatically appear under your comments?

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      • onlinepersona@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        Unfortuately, it’s manual :) Keyboard shortcut to put the text into the clipboard and then paste it into the comment.

        If you're on linux using X11

        sh #!/usr/bin/env nix-shell #!nix-shell -i bash --packages xautomation xclip sleep 0.2 printf ‘[Anti Commercial-AI license](https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0/)’ | xclip -selection clipboard #(echo '::: spoiler Anti Commercial AI thingy #[CC BY-NC-SA 4.0](https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0/) # #Inserted with a keystroke running this script on linux with X11 #bash’ #cat “$0” #echo '#:::') | xclip -selection clipboard xte “keydown Control_L” “key V” “keyup Control_L”

        Anti Commercial-AI license

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  • petrescatraian@libranet.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago
    @ElCanut geee, I wonder how did they make Microsoft Access.
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    • ElCanut@jlai.lu ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      There’s an intern inside the server that checks every transaction by hand

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  • xep@fedia.io ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Sometimes it feels like most of my job nowadays is deleting code now.

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  • Gsus4@mander.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    genuine c/programmerhumor

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