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• reddig33@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Good grooming goes a long way. As does dressing nicely (clean, flattering, well-fitting clothing).

  Also keep in mind that what you think is “ugly“ someone else finds attractive.

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  • fuckwit_mcbumcrumble@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Also if you’re overweight then losing some will help a lot.

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• DessertStorms@kbin.social ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  One thing's for sure - reducing women to nothing but shallow height obsessed monsters (projecting your own insecurities on to a whole gender, the individuals of which you know nothing about, and worse - aren't interested in finding out) isn't it.

  What will make you attractive to women? Stop acting like a victim - there are plenty of short and ugly guys in healthy loving relationships, your external body isn't why you're not in a relationship. Quit the toxic manosphere and any other space that confirms this bullshit bias for you cold turkey and never look back. Work on becoming a person other people would actually want to be around, rather than a stereotypical incel (you might not think of yourself as one, but you absolutely come across as one).

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  • Quitmuch1938@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    [deleted]

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    • DessertStorms@kbin.social ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      be humble and listen to other people first

      Lmmfao, says the person rejecting every single piece of advice being given to them.. 🤣

      (hint: you don't have to explicitly use a word for the implication to be oozing from your post)

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• 474D@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  There’s plenty of ugly people out here fuckin, either groom yourself well and work on your personality or lower your standards.

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  • Quitmuch1938@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    [deleted]

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    • 474D@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Try your shot at equally as ugly other people, it’s a numbers game

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• nandeEbisu@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Maybe not the most helpful answer, but self confidence is a huge part of it. I think that’s why a lot of guys feel like they get more attention when they’re in a relationship compared to when they are looking.

  There’s nothing wrong with dipping your feet in the dating pool while you’re working on yourself, but spend some time doing things for yourself, not for other people to like you.

  If you’re into music, listen to stuff and play stuff, if you’re into computer games play them and try connecting to people along that avenue. Don’t worry about it you’re hobby is dorky, just worry about if you enjoy it and are happy doing it. That should help develop a sense of identity and purpose separate from what other people think of you.

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• FlembleFabber@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Just date short and ugly girls

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  • Quitmuch1938@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    [deleted]

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    • FlembleFabber@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Short and hot girls might be height obsessed, but short ugly girls probably aren’t

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• Akuchimoya@startrek.website ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  People are saying being funny and having confidence, and they’re right, and I’m going to tell your why that’s right. When being around you makes someone feel good, they will want to be around you more. That’s not exclusive to romantic relationships, it’s true also of friendships and business relationships, too.

  An acquaintance asked me out not long ago, I declined. A mutual friend asked me “Why? He’s not bad-looking”. His looks had nothing to do with it, his negative personality had everything to do with it. The few times I’d talked with him, all he ever did was complain about stuff in general. The complaints were valid, but there’s nothing in a list of complaints that makes me think “I really liked taking to him today”. Complaints (without solutions) are inherently negative. I don’t need negative energy in my life, there’s enough of that already. It’s in going to add someone to my life, it’ll because he makes life better.

  A big thing is having interests. You having a life and interests is interesting. Even if they’re not shared interests, you having something you love is having something that makes you happy. You being happy gives people positive feelings about you.

  If your expectation is for someone to come and make you happy, then you are a happiness-sink. You drain joy from other people instead of mutually building up each other. No one wants a joy-drain, and I’ll be honest with you, your attitude is one of a drain.

  So, the question is, how do you make a someone’s life better? Do you being laughter to her? Do you make her feel safe? Do you give her confidence in herself? Do you bring interest to her life? Do you make her feel heard and seen?

  And to be clear, someone should do all those things for you mutually, too. Two people should be building *each other * up.

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• surewhynotlem@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  You don’t. Who cares. Find some short ugly lady to marry and you’ll be happy.

  I don’t understand this feeling of being alone forever. For every ugly dude there’s an ugly lady. For every fat guy, there’s a fat chick. For every poor dude, there’s a poor lady. That’s just how distributions work.

  So go out there, be confident, find your beast and take her home. And love her and be happy.

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  • june@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Oh bullshit. I know so many absolutely stunning and conventionally attractive women who are wildly attracted to fat ugly men. And I know plenty of conventionally attractive men who are attracted to fat ugly women.

    There is no set principle for matching with people, none at all. You don’t have to settle for someone you’re not attracted to, you just have to put the effort into finding the people who find you as attractive as you find them. It’s not always easy, but the people are there.

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    • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I’m giving the worst case and default scenario. Of course people can do whatever they want.

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• nihilvain@lemmy.ml ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  First of all, it’s very common for a woman to say they like tall guys. Just like most guys would say they like girls with big breasts. But at the end of the day no one can get their ideal person. It’s either looks or personality. Everyone has to compromise.

  But if your crush is obsessed with height then she’s a dispecable human being who doesn’t deserve anyone’s attention or love. If it’s any consolation there are a lot of tall fuck boys that will use and dump those kind of height obsessed women. And those guys will only pick the best of the best for romantic partners. All other women will be devoid of happiness and forever keep on searching. So scratch all women like that off your list!!

  Now, you mentioned money to get attention of women. Although that would work to some extent, most of the attention you’d get would be from gold diggers. They are experts of manipulation and gaslighting, they would take all your money and will leave you in a worse mental situation than before. And no, it’s not that easy to spot a golddigger. Again, they are experts in their craft.

  But there are some things you can do:

  • As others mentioned, grooming and looking your best. I won’t go into depth here.
  • Being funny. Women really are more inclined to like a guy that makes them laugh. The trick is to find the right amount of funny. You shouldn’t be a clown. Smart and a bit of sarcastic goes a long way. If you can also be able to make fun of yourself (a healthy amount) that will also show confidence. And confidence is always a winning feat.
  • Success / Passion. One of the reasons (besides golddiggers) that women like men with money is that it’s a form of being successful. Be passionate about something and try to be good at it. Creative endeavors like art and music will attract a lot of attention. Make you more interesting. Yes, that won’t help out with all women but quite a sizeable amount of women. Also keep in mind that to some level everyone likes to show off their partners. A tall but boring accountant wouldn’t be as good as a partner than a short king who creates art, puts up exhibitions, being passionate about his subject, fun to talk to.

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  • Quitmuch1938@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    [deleted]

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    • ChexMax@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      And I have literally never heard a girl in real life say she wouldn’t date a guy if he’s not above 6 ft. I see guys say it about women, but none of the women I know actually care about height. I have heard women say they’d prefer if their partner is taller than them, but even this is a preference, not a deal breaker. If you’ve actually heard the height thing from real women in your life, you just need to start hanging out with different women because that’s a shallow requirement.

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    • morphballganon@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Yeah boob size isn’t super important, per se, but it can be one of many factors that nudge you toward getting the ball rolling.

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• wall_inhabiter@lemdro.id ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Literally just work out and take care of your skin and hair.

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• Kolanaki@yiffit.net ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I hear money works.

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• tygerprints@kbin.social ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  These are all bad ideas. The more you change yourself to "please" everyone else, the less happy you will ever be. One of the hardest lessons of life is to learn that, you can't ever please everyone, and when you change to please someone, they'll soon change what they want and you'll never stop having to change to please them.

  The real secret to happiness is not to change yourself at all. It's to learn how to like who you are, the way you are. Yes the world is cruel and cold - and it's awlays going to be that way. You aren't the problem here. You are fine just the way you are, and it's a secret that could save many lives and keep many people from self-harm if they only realized it at a younger age.

  The truth is, nobody wants someone around them who is trying to please them all the time. They want to be around someone who is self-confident and radiates a healthy well-adjusted persona that says "this is who I am, love it or leave it."

  Becoming rich to attract people may work to attract people, but they'll only be attracted by the money, not by you. As soon as that runs out, so will they. And usually they will run out anyway, even if the money doesn't.

  You need to get some help with your attitude about yourself, and start deciding that you're OK as you are. Do not do the surgery option - it's wrong. Women who get surgery to "look more like so and so" are never happy. Surgery isn't the answer to your problems in life, at all.

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• june@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  You might think you’re ugly, but I guarantee there are plenty of people out there that find you wildly attractive.

  The first thing to do is believe that and start working toward finding yourself attractive. I’ve been working on this for the past few years and just yesterday had my first moment where I looked at my naked body in the mirror and was like ‘oh…. That’s nice’. Having that confidence is a game changer.

  Also, short kings are a whole demographic of highly sought after people. Being short is not a detriment except to toxic masculine men.

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• leaky_shower_thought@feddit.nl ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  There’s a lot of preferences out there. Most try to chase unicorns but each of them have their own phases.

  I think you can compensate it by not giving up, or just know when your time to chase unicorns is over.

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  • Quitmuch1938@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    [deleted]

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    • leaky_shower_thought@feddit.nl ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      so the next best thing is to never give up.

      you’ll find the one that can see you over those imperfections!

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