Comment on How to treat a man

• PP_BOY_@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  [deleted]

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  • abbadon420@lemm.ee ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Fuck you

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    • PP_BOY_@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Maybe my comment was a bit rude but please don’t teach your daughter to instantly distrust people based on their gender. That’s a recipe for undersocilization that’s going to fuck her up for a long time

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      • abbadon420@lemm.ee ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Maybe you’re not a nazi after all, lol. But I try to stay away from gender issues as much as possible, that’s not what this was about. It seems no matter what I say, it’s always offending someone’s gender. I’m sad to see it’s not possible to escape it though.

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    • wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      And here we see the pinnacle of parenthood in full swing

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• Delphia@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  My guy, the motivation is right but the thinking is wrong.

  You teach your daughter how to spot manipulative behavior, teach her how to stand up for and protect herself, teach your daughter how to respect herself AND others, teach her how to love herself AND others, teach her what a healthy relationship looks like…

  Boys will be boys, they will be dumb and horny teenagers and they will try shit, even with the absolute best of dumb horny boy intentions, also teenage lesbians are quite keen on trying shit too. You need to teach them to spot the difference between their first love and someone telling them what they want to hear in order to go up their shirt.

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  • rottingleaf@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    You teach your daughter how to spot manipulative behavior

    Yeah, only do it right. Because some girls have apparently been taught to classify anything they don’t understand as that. Sucks being autistic and trying to explain some emotion and being accused of manipulation and ghosted, because that’s easier than admitting that sometimes you just don’t understand other people as well as you think.

    I also hate that folk psychology with “personal borders” (usually asymmetric, quite normal things said to those people are apparently emotional abuse, and quite heavy things from them are just life) and “red flags” (usually applied to autistic people and not applied to literal creepy\insecure behavior) and a few thumb rules which apparently describe anything in a conversation. People employing that also by default consider that everything is fine with them personally.

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  • abbadon420@lemm.ee ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Thanks, but these are open doors. I just made a single sentence comment that people read way to much into. Now I’m the world’s worst parent and I deserve all the funny comments that attack me personally on issues about which I lie awake at night.

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• PunnyName@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  And the cycle continues. Congrats on being a cog in a machine we’re trying to dismantle.

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  • TSG_Asmodeus@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    This feels reductive. Are you seriously saying ‘trust boys’ is a message you should give girls right now? I have boys and girls, and I would never tell my daughter ‘yeah just default to trusting guys’ – hell she had issues with boys not understanding consent or bodily autonomy in elementary school.

    And I 100% blame those of us around those boys, we’re the adults, but the fact is girls literally cannot afford to just trust men or boys on meeting.

    We need to teach our boys and men to stop doing these things and then we can tell everyone to trust by default.

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    • PunnyName@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Yes. Trust boys. Because things happen at once, not in sequence.

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      • HowManyNimons@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        There is a sequence. People earn trust, then they get trust. That is the sequence.

        Individual boys will be trusted if they deserve it.

        Masculinity won’t because it has broken trust. We’ve got a major crisis here, and it won’t be solved with downvoting feminist opinions or demanding trust. We have inherited a deeply broken situation, and many of the loudest voices in masculinity are still disasterously counterproductive.

        The way forward is to forge a better masculinity that is an ally to the other genders. Maybe earn trust back. We can start by listening to women and hearing their concerns. Downvoting and negating their concerns pushes them in the wrong direction, doesn’t it?

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• forrgott@lemm.ee ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I’m not gonna teach my daughters who they are or are not supposed to trust. Because I will never teach my children what they should think, but rather how to think for themselves. I will encourage them to only trust individuals that prove themselves trustworthy, but again, that’s not my decision to make.

  They’re not extensions of me; they are distinct, individual human beings. So I certainly hope you will not teach her to be distrustful; that leads to misery and pain, all in the pursuit of something that doesn’t belong to you and never will (her mind is her own, whether you like it or not).

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