be yourself
Maybe not be a guy who catalogues his classmates’ underwear colors.
Comment on Anon becomes a landscape
billwashere@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Moral of the story: be yourself not something you think somebody wants.
I learned that lesson a long time ago.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 1 day ago
billwashere@lemmy.world 1 day ago
yeah… and that….
baines@lemmy.cafe 2 days ago
clearly he needs a shirt showing a boy creeping on a girls thong in class
jade52@lemmy.ca 3 days ago
I didn’t learn this until my late 20s and that was really too late. It’s weird once you realize you haven’t been yourself for years, and when you start to try to be, it’s like meeting a long lost friend again.
Nangijala@feddit.dk 3 days ago
Thats basically what the 20s are for everybody. You try to be anything but yourself and then you grow out of it and spend your 30s cringing at 20s-you.
BorgDrone@feddit.nl 3 days ago
be yourself
But I’m not like that.
billwashere@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Yeah me neither.
cRazi_man@europe.pub 3 days ago
Next green text story incoming:
Me: tried being myself
Her: ew
billwashere@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Well yeah of course. Lots of people may not like the real you. You just need to find one. Well unless she’s a cheating bitch and then you need two. Er… I mean … never mind. 😂
UnequalExchange@lemmy.world 3 days ago
but the sad truth is that there is the likely possibility that NOBODY will ever like you despite how loyal or peaceful or kind or handsome you are.
THATS what makes dating one of the shittiest games to play.
You can do everything right and every single person you want to date can still want to hang you despite you not saying or doign a mean thing to them.
You can do everything wrong like pinochet, reza shah, mobuto, joe biden, kamala harris, suharto , pol pot, benjamin mileikowsky, adolph shitler, queen victoria, idi amin, etc… and people will build statues in your honiur AND wanna have your babies…wait… ALL the people I just mentioned all had spouses AND children! loool.
The same can be said for making friends too I have also found. People have told me they either wont date me or either wont befriend me…because the biggest sin Ive committed , in their words, was I am Black…
Enjoy those shitty, lonely games , comrades lol 😉🫡💔😏🤭
bilouba@jlai.lu 2 days ago
Maybe try to avoid this defeatist way of thinking? It hard, sure, not trying to downplay the harsh reality of dating, but giving up will not help you find a partner.
It’s like giving up on life because you can accidentally die tomorrow.
At least, meet new people, not trying to date anyone and maybe make friends. Maybe and maybe with some time, one of this new friend will become a lover? Worst case scenario you got more friends. Maybe they have friends themselves and you can meet new people?
Forget about loyalty, peacefulness, kindness or handsomeness like they are traits in a video game. A mid girl can become you crush by the way they talk to you about their experience of something you share. Try to be the best human being you can become. It’s a lifelong journey. Meet people to expand your perspective. Try sometime to get out of your comfort zone. But also be kind to yourself, allow time to heal from pain and hardship. Allow yourself to cry, it “reset” your nervous system and process an emotional event.
As for your awful experience of racism, I’m sorry you had to go though that. But don’t forget that you dodge a massive bullet. How would you have like living with someone who devalue you for your skin color?
Sorry if I sound preachy, I hope you get my message and good intentions. A friend of mine followed for most of his life this “love is not for me” mentality and now regret this choice and is trying his best to live his life fully.
In the end, it’s your choice, feel free to ignore everything I just said off course. Whatever your choices, good luck, I wish you the best 🫶
billwashere@lemmy.world 3 days ago
I totally believe there is someone for everyone. But given the amount of people around you and the number of combinations there is a very distinct possibility you may never meet them. It’s basically a math problem. Well computer science (and possibly economics… can’t remember), lookup the stable matching problem if you really wanna nerd out.
I’m sorry you have run into that. I can’t help that some people are just racist assholes but I understand how that could make it difficult. My entire life has pretty much been in academia so I don’t really see that side of people very often. I guess the more educated someone is the less racist they tend to be.
I consider myself very lucky in that I have quite a few friends. Some for as long as 35+ years. But the one trick that I have found to making friends is pretty simple… well its at least worked for me… just be interested in whatever they are interested in. I mean don’t be someone you’re not, but just finding their passions worthy of discussion almost always gets my foot in the door. Eventually, unless there are just a narcisstic asshole, it will be recriprocatedI. If they are that selfish and just use you, you really don’t want them for a friend anyways.
P1k1e@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Meh, happens sometimes