Thank you for your kind words but as I said before "some of the worst people in history have been able to find partners and keep those partners.* Heck, we read and watch about stories on true crime channels all the time where a persom who repeatedly punched and emotionally abused their partners was able to convince that abused party to keep om and keep om and keep on coming back to them.
And then you have people who wouldnt hurt a fly, take care of their body and their mind and put themselves oit there for others to date and they never met a single person , despite their hardest efforts. Dating is random
There are no soulmatess. There is no ethereal Space Gods perfectly glcrafting other humans for each of us obviously. Dating is very random. In the past dating was probably more random with the commonality of arranged marriages and impossibly difficult divorce laws that made loveless marriages waaay more common. (Well at least weve reduced those types of relationships . Phew! We need to keep on reducing such relationships since they hirt society.) As I said before datinfg is random.
Also about the defeatiam. Ive been rejected probably 200 times (I actually lost count after about 120 but Im guessing Ive almost reached 300 so far) It is actually normal for the human brain to accept a defeatist attitude to something that youve failed 200 times. Thats how the brain works, no? If a person has failed a test 200 times …what do you think theyll be thinking the 201st time? …
Sometimes there are dating rules that make no sense (like people who repeatedly choose to go back to partners that are abusive and even deadly…) Sometims there are rules that make a lot of sense (Males should make an effort to ensure that the ladies that they ask out feel safe and can say no and that they can escape if those ladies feeo that the situation is too awkward for the ladies, seeing as how males are the taller and heavier of our species) Daring is veery random . Most of the rules of dating are sort of like quantum mechanics - there are many things we dont know.
If you want to keep on and keep on trying to complete this difficult test even though youve failed 3 million times ? Up to you! If one failure is enough? Up to you. If dating is just to nonsensical for you to ever get into? Up to you. We are all adults here . We shouod not judge or restrict a kind, peaceful person who doesnt want to date or does want to date. Regardless of whatever gender they are or whoever they want to date. Love is love at the end of the day
TLDR. Dating is random. If youre a lonely, kind person who takes care of yourself , your communites , and your mental health and your still lonely? Its not your fault. Sometimes it just is what it is🫂 Some awful people have had dozens of partners. Some kind people never met a single person who reciprocated their love. Soulmates dont really exist if you think carefully about. Love and peace y’all . Bye. ❤️🩹🫂
P.S. If anyone wants to read more about that TLDR I would recommend that ‘The Nuance Pill’ articles from substack
UnequalExchange@lemmy.world 23 hours ago
Also umm this:
I feel like peopele should stop lying to themselves when they say these traits are not imoortant for meeting a monogamous partner. You partner will definitely care about how loyal to them you are if you two are monogamously involved. You oartner will likely care about how kind you are to them and others - heck there are some people who have mental illnesses that make it so thst they like unkind and abusive people MORE. And your oartner will DEFINITELY care about how you look or how ‘beautiful’ or ‘handsome’ you are . There is undeniably a ‘physical aspect’ to a person’s attraction towards you in a monogamous relationship. Would anyone here stay married to a partner who has deliberately let their health go to the point that they belong on ‘My 700 Pound Life’ ? Would anyone here stay with someone who has had so much plastic surgeries that that partner crossed past the Uncanny Valley a looomg time ago? …didnt think so.