Comment on Anon likes a woman

Nomad@infosec.pub ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

• arin@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Yeah, some people want to be abused too, and they feel the ick if the person isn’t abusive and starts avoiding them.

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  • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    i had an ex who broke up with me because I wouldn’t physically beat her.

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    • arin@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Sometimes it’s genetics too, some adoptees are all fucked up even if the foster parents do their best to lead them from a young age

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• FavouriteShapes@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Which is ironic cos no binding gets done in that case

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• Gonzako@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  So you just stop bonding?

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  • Macchi_the_Slime@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Basically yes. Once things get too “close” or too “real” people with that attachment style tend to get really scared and bail.

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    • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      and then they go around complaining to everyone how nobody is ‘deep’ enough for them or something similar.

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      • OryxAndCake@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Eh plenty aren’t, you just don’t meet them because they don’t bother trying to bond with people.

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  • nanometer1625@thelemmy.club ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    That would be noble.

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    • caseyweederman@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      One might say inert.

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      • OryxAndCake@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        aromantic asexual noble and inert

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  • captainlezbian@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    You can change your attachment style with effort. I naturally had disorganized attachment and my wife initially leaned towards avoidant (avoidant is more bailing or disinvesting when things get hard), but we’ve both done a lot of work and display secure attachment towards each other and in general these days

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