…y’all should work on that.
Comment on I would also be confused
tomi000@lemmy.world 2 days ago
So let me get this straight. People complain when their gf gets mad over little things like chocolate in bed. They also complain when she doesnt. Wtf?
Wish my wife would tell me if something bothered her this calmly instead of bottling it up until she bursts and throws a tantrum. Im no better just to be clear.
halfeatenpotato@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
Saapas@piefed.zip 1 day ago
I think the person is just confused because the first thing sounds like she could be angry about it but the second message sounds cheery
mech@feddit.org 2 days ago
Ask her regularly if something is bothering her, or if there’s something you can do to make her day better.
Also, reflect on if there’s something you do that makes it hard for her to tell you her issues with you (body language, sighing, removing yourself, getting defensive…)
Maybe she just finds it hard to bother others with her problems, asking directly makes it easier.
And maybe you’re unconsciously communicating to her that she should leave you alone with her problems.
Anyway, the goal is to show her you’re by her side, tackling problems as a team. Not opposite her.
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 2 days ago
yeah…that’s a one way road to hell.
erev@lemmy.world 2 days ago
I mean this is sound advice that can go wrong if you hace the emotional intelligence of a doorknob (whicgmh is a lot of people, mostly men). Don’t just ask “is something botheribg you” so dryly and regularly you becomw whafs bothering her, but open lines of communication where you make it clear that you’re trying to improve your communication and then genuinely check in on her. Dont just ask if something is bothwring her, but find out how shes been and what may be adding stress into her life. Don’t immediately seek to fix it, but try to understand if she just needs to vent stress or if there are issues you can tsckle together. If an issue is identified, remember it is you and her vs the issue, not you vs her.