You’re getting down voted right now and I think it’s important to understand why because I had a similar reaction not too long ago. I was curious to understand my own biases and what I think it’s important to share what I learned as a cis male in IT.

Women just want to be women. Some want to wear nail polish and “look pretty” while others want to just rock a T-shirt and jeans. Like men who wear full tux and debug code at 6pm on a Friday (because they aren’t farmers), they want to be what they want to be.

Men have the luxury to wear whatever they want (for the most part) and not get shit for it. Women have to do everything that men do and do it with maturity while handing the shit that men throw their way.

I learned this lesson when I was the sole male STEM counselor at an all girls camp. It was a volunteer gig that my company put together. They had last minute cancellations and I had time on my calendar and so I volunteered. I did not know it was all girls and I certainly did not know I’d be the only guy.

I stayed curious and helped where I could. My job was to be a project manager, help teams understand how to win their competition that had set requirements. So I walked them through all that and looked over their code. There as a dedicated “make up hour” where the girls were encouraged to make their presentations “pretty” with make up, glitter, etc. I personally found it pointless given how far behind we were but I kept my mouth shut.

And I observed.

The fact that these girls could do this and do IT was immensely powerful. You could see their spirits lifted. It rocked my world and made me check my own beliefs. Why not allow them to be pretty? Why not let them take an hour to put glitter and stickers on their board if it made them happy?

Did we win? No. But they enjoyed it.

In my 20+ years in tech, we need more women because they bring perspective in ways I don’t. Not because they want to be pretty because they provide insight in ways I don’t expect. Anything I can do to help make that happen I’ll gladly do.