Comment on Anon asks out a friend

• ook@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I hope some day you can reflect on this statement and realise the toxicity behind it.

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  • Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    What’s toxic about wanting better than being the backup option?

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    • Kushan@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Nothing at all, but that last line, “When is my turn to have fun?” Is a bit transactional, like there’s an expectation and that’s the problematic part.

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      • gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        like there’s an expectation

        you can have expectations from relationships. you don’t have to, and not every relationship has them, but it’s perfectly fine to have them, as long as the other person’s fine with that.

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      • ook@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Exactly, but also immediately assuming you’d be the “backup” on this and it of course cannot be genuine love.

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      • QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        And that was added by ilovethebomb

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  • QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I think the toxic part is what was added by ilovethebomb. They never asked this and seemed to have genuinely moved on.

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• SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Who was stopping you?

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  • Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Nobody wanted to have fun with me.

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  • lagoon8622@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    They were stopping themselves

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    • lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      It be true, I do stop myself

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