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Comment on Anon thinks there is a bicurious double standard
MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 4 days ago
I’m just saying: as a guy, this is not the only double standard, and not the only thing that people see as “you did it once so you’re $thing forever” that guys go through.
It’s probably one of the most notable though.
As men, we deal with a lot of judgemental shit and we’re expected to deal with it “like a man”… Whatever the fuck that means.
Another good example of this is crying. If you have a mental breakdown and fall into a crying fit, people will brand you as a cry baby or some shit, and that will stay with you for a long ass time.
There’s so much more. I don’t have time to think of, nor detail any of it. Any fellas that have examples, I invite you too add them in reply. Ladies, you can too. And anyone else can, honestly; let’s not forget our non-binary family.
blarghly@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 4 days ago
I’m glad I’m not your friend.
blarghly@lemmy.world 4 days ago
[deleted]Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
Grow up.
Wild thing to say after expressing one of the most childish opinions I’ve ever seen.
sneaky@r.nf 4 days ago
Who the fuck plans a mental breakdown? Take that shit off my schedule damn.
tiny_iota@endlesstalk.org 4 days ago
my nephew was murdered, I helped raise him as a teenager while my brother was in the military. I cried in front of my “friends” and they judged me. They are no longer my friends. Terrible people. just like you
MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 4 days ago
I’m glad you were able to rid yourself of those clearly toxic people.
I’m sorry that it took that event to figure out that they’re not worth having as friends.
I hope you are doing better after all of that.
Sincerely, ·some random dude on the Internet.
tiny_iota@endlesstalk.org 3 days ago
thank you. I am happily married and enjoying life with friends that aren’t going all in on machismo bs. This all happened a long time ago, so I can slightly forgive my ex-friends for being immature and mocking me behind my back about it. Feelings are hard to deal with yourself let alone with other people when you are 20 years old.
Jax@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
have your mental breakdown
You defeated your own point
blarghly@lemmy.world 4 days ago
[deleted]dditty@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 days ago
“If any of my friends are stressed and pushed to the breaking point, they need to schedule their mental breakdown in advance for a place and time when I am not around so they don’t inconvenience me.”
That’s more or less what you sound like
0x0@lemmy.zip 3 days ago
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 4 days ago
I’ve had two relationships with women immediately go downhill after I cried in front of them. It was like someone flipped a switch and turned off any physical attraction they had to me.
rekabis@lemmy.ca 4 days ago
Can absolutely confirm this, myself. Never let them see you vulnerable, unless you want to drive them away.
HK65@sopuli.xyz 4 days ago
I’ll be honest, I can’t imagine not being able to cry in front of my partner. It sounds depressive.
rekabis@lemmy.ca 4 days ago
It’s how “toxic masculinity” is forced upon men against their will.
Do we want to be sensitive and vulnerable? Sure!
Do we want partners that can accept that sensitivity and vulnerability? Of course!!
But when the vast majority of women do not do as they say, or say as they do, the calculus becomes massively brutal and clear-cut: either cram that shit down to where it will never see the light of day, or see it emotionally/sexually alienate our partner or even drive them away.
MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 4 days ago
It sounds depressing because it is.
MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 4 days ago
This is the way of things.
I’m not saying it’s right, just, or how it should be, but in my experience, yes, this.
rekabis@lemmy.ca 4 days ago
What makes it infinitely more worse is that almost all women fully and absolutely deny this happens, even when behaving exactly like this.
It’s why such near-ubiquitous behaviour - and women’s hypocritical denial of its existence - is widely documented within both redpill and blackpill writings, and is one of the core reasonings behind MGTOW.
Such overwhelmingly predictable behaviours are what make those philosophies so devastatingly effective and compelling even before a person gets to anything even mildly misogynistic… facts and evidence that survive tests of disproof speak volumes, after all. These philosophies simply wouldn’t exist if behaviours and double standards like this didn’t exist.
resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 4 days ago
I’ve discovered that emotional availability means you’re available to mirror her emotions. If she’s mad, you better get mad. If she’s sad, you better get sad.
JasSmith@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
Yes! We need a translator because what many of them say is not what they actually mean. I kept being told I was emotionally unavailable. So I started opening up more, which killed the attraction pretty quickly. What they meant was that they wanted me to listen to them and react in a way which implied I felt their feelings. Most women definitely DO NOT want a man who is in touch with his emotions or is “emotionally available.” They want to feel emotionally validated.
Electric_Druid@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Conversation about this can be helpful with the right person. I felt rather one sided in the emotional validation in my relationship. We had a long emotional talk about it and things are better now.
HK65@sopuli.xyz 4 days ago
Those women need to grow up.