But it was also something people lied a lot about so the numbers could be shaky. Maybe we should redo it and ask old people when they got laid the first time.
Comment on get sum
shalafi@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Does this weird anyone else out? Graduated HS in 1989 and it seemed like we were all fucking, even the nerds. I’m short and scrawny, still tripped and fell into pussy now and again.
There’s something really alarming about this, can’t put my finger on it. It’s certainly weird that today’s young people aren’t fucking when we were going nuts during the AIDS epidemic, risking our lives for that cookie. Sex is such a basic human need I can’t imagine what going without is doing to mental health.
Valmond@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Fredselfish@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Yeah I learned the math from American Pie. But we got laid more, because we met people in the real world more. Also when dating sites first came out, they were actually built to find you a partner. I got laid so much more from those apps. I hear today those apps main goal is to keep you on the app. (So glad met my wife on OkCuipd before the enshitiction)
I mean I once met woman from Craigslist on personal connections or whatnot. Not even sure that a thing now.
Plus younger people aren’t sex crazed like we were. I have three boys. Oldest 21 to youngest 16. Two in relationships. At 16 I was chasing girls like crazy. My 16 year old son could care less. He has other priorities. And my middle son isn’t trying to get laid with his trans boyfriend. I mean as a father kinda glad they aren’t out knocking up girls and shit. At same time do worry about it. But think it’s us not them.
Probably don’t help that life harder now and their future looks bleak.
Triasha@lemmy.world 2 days ago
About the dating apps. Craig’s list took the connections section down because escorts were using it and they couldn’t fight the legal battle.
My wife and I met on OK cupid, and we feel like we got the last train out of dodge.
Fredselfish@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Yep me and my wife agee. OkCuipd was great, and Plenty of Fish got me laid so much back in the day. Didn’t know about the thing with Craigslist. Last used it in 2012. Met wife in 2013, and so freaking glad. Heard OkCuipd went to the Tinder method.
What really sucks is that like one freaking company owns most all dating apps. And they company cares nothing about finding people a mate.
Valmond@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Same here, two boys 16 & 18, the first just doesn’t care it seems, the second has a gf but it’s not like in the day where you’d have crazy sex if you could or so it feels 🤷🏼♀️.
jagungal@aussie.zone 1 day ago
MagicShel@lemmy.zip 2 days ago
Graduated in 91. Can’t confirm first time for anyone but me and one girlfriend but I will confirm we were getting laid. I was almost 15 and she had recently turned 15. Can also confirm post virginity high school sex with another girl. I really only had two serious girlfriends in high school. I had a few other near misses but I don’t recall any others that sealed the deal off the top of my head. I wasn’t swimming in it, but I did pretty well for a nerd with self-confidence issues.
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 2 days ago
it seemed like we were all fucking, even the nerds
Checking in as a nerd who went to high school in the 00’s. Yes, we were still fucking then. Especially the marching band nerds. Don’t get me started on what people got up to on our long bus trips…
shalafi@lemmy.world 2 days ago
LOL my god you band fags were THIRSTY. (Archie Bunker voice: What?! That’s what we called them people in dose days!) One of my band friends was little Miss Christian, plainly dressed, straight A kinda kid, raspy voice from an emergency tracheotomy.
One day in advanced European history, hissing at me, “Have you tried tying Debbie (my gf) up?! Steve tied me to the bed and it was awesome! Railed my brains out!” “👀 Uh, yeah, we tried that and loved it!” Next thing we’re comparing notes on knots and BDSM techniques. “Couldn’t get away, right?” Then class started. Back to business!
Still laugh my ass off at the American Pie band camp chick! Yes kids, we did that shit.
LOL, first time I got my finger wet was at a church camp retreat. They had to know what was going to happen if you throw a bunch of 14-17yo kids in sleeping bags and turn the lights off. Movie night at the church down the street was date night! Yeah, just going to throw this blanket over us. It’s cold, OK?!"
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 1 day ago
[deleted]shalafi@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Well that’s an eye-opening thought! Yeah, we teens didn’t give two shits about religion, youth group was for meeting girls and boys. And it worked! And now you got me thinking, the adults had to know.
Maybe the idea was that we could get our hormones on without actual sex. Not like I was railing Jenny in the Methodist rumpus room. That came later.
PieMePlenty@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I’d say 10% not fucking is pretty standard/average and your thinking you were all (100%) doing it is either clouded by your own experiences or you grew up in a very liberal community where it deviates.
Why its rising is questionable. Personally, I’d say its due to rising depression rates… well, it correlates at least.
shalafi@lemmy.world 1 day ago
very liberal community
1980s Oklahoma
very liberal community
Missed the mark on that one!
See this comment? Amazing!
Delphia@lemmy.world 1 day ago
If you’re over 40 how many times did you get laid because “One thing led to another”? Like you ever chill and vibe so hard with someone you feel the need to fuck about it?
In the tail end of my singleness I found that I was able to have more and better conversations with women online because we could share things and experiences without being in the same room… But we werent in the same room, to shoot your shot you had to arrange something, give them a chance to overthink it, give yourself a chance to overthink it, sort out the scheduling issues, work out transport and then hopefully when you get into the same room still have the same magic going on.
When we were bored we hung out to not be bored, sometimes that led to fucking.
skisnow@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
Speculating wildly, I think it was a lot more common back then for teenagers to just disappear off for hours on end without their parents knowing where they were.
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 1 day ago
what i have come to realize is how much different people’s view on sexuality differs.
Everybody thinks their own emotions are absolute and the way that everybody sees it; though that is not true at all. A very clear example of this is how different people are attracted to different kinds of people. It’s not only about being gay or not, it’s also that there’s a huge number of people who are either asexual or rather prudish to the extent that they basically don’t have sex outside of very narrowly-defined contexts.
This has been a huge surprise for me to learn about since my own instinct is the opposite: sexuality is what keeps the society together, what facilitates the exchange of people and causes relationships. without sexuality, a lot of things wouldn’t work or work only very slowly.
baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de 1 day ago
I am appalled at the fact that some people have casual sex with people they don’t intend to marry. That’s insane! But also yeah that’s the infinity of human expression, people are just all kinds of different.
user224@lemmy.sdf.org 2 days ago
It’s certainly weird that today’s young people aren’t fucking when we were going nuts during the AIDS epidemic
I am certainly not normal enough to represent anyone else here, but while not HIV, I do fear HPV (the sexually-transmitted strains).
My parents did not get me vaccinated against it when it would have been covered by insurance, because… because.
So, some quick overview from my mind which you shouldn’t trust as a source of information: Often marketed as something to protect women from cervical cancer, thus being reduced to “the vaccine for girls”. That’s often the view of public even now that it is also recommended to boys, which wasn’t always the case. Even then, the reason often ended up being not spreading HPV onto women. People being stupid -> Either “I have a boy, so it doesn’t matter.” or “I raised my girl well, she won’t need it.”
Well anyway, for men, throat cancer, anal cancer and penile cancer sound pretty relevant.
Speaking of penile cancer, yesterday I came across photo of a man who got large cancerous growth on his trunk as a result of HPV, and had to undergone penectomy (i.e. bye dickie), plus the radiation therapy went wrong causing large burns.
All in all, basically a cancer vaccine, only effective if you didn’t come into contact with HPV, which most sexually active people do, also why it’s typically only given to kids.So, moving on, Gardasil-9 protects against 9 high-risk strains. Doesn’t sound like a bad idea even if you had sex, likely you haven’t collected all 9 yet. But certainly best before.
So, 3 doses, 2nd after 2, 3rd after 6 months. I think they take around a month to become effective, so I guess 7 months for total vaccination. Paid by patient, almost 400 EUR for all 3 doses as far as I could find in my country.So, not like I could get any regardless, but safer sex would cost me 7 months of waiting and almost 400 EUR while I am about to start college and make 4.70 EUR per hour. And it cannot be fully done retroactively. It’s also good to have saved some money. If my laptop or phone breaks, I need a replacement immediately (and I sure as fuck want another convertible ThinkPad).
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Paid by patient, almost 400 EUR for all 3 doses as far as I could find in my country.
Whoa. As an American who got the Gardasil vaccine for free in my 20s, this feels really weird. Paying for preventive medicine sounds like something I’d expect around here. I was in the notoriously-backwards state of Florida and had already been sexually active for several years, yet the vaccine was still covered for me.
user224@lemmy.sdf.org 2 days ago
So I checked it to be more precise.
I only found price mentioned in forum by Benu pharmacy employee from 2023, stating 123.50 EUR per dose. So 370.50 in this case.
For people aged 12 - 14, this is fully paid. 18 and up, fuck you.
15 - 17, depends on the insurance company.
Insurance company Covered amount VsZP (state-owned) Up to 31.45 EUR per dose Dovera (private) Up to 257.16 EUR depending on insurance length - (per dose) 85.72 if > 10 years, 61.23 EUR if > 5 < 10 years, 36.73 if < 5 years Union (private) 50% per dose But again, as an adult, no luck.
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 2 days ago
That absolutely sucks. Though thinking about it, the vaccine had only just come out when I was already an adult. It’s possible I was “grandfathered in” because the opportunity wasn’t there when I was younger.
Yet there are so many kids with anti-vaxxer parents, it doesn’t seem right to deny the opportunity to young adults who finally have the chance to make their own health decisions. It’s such bullshit how much power insurance companies wield, despite them knowing far less than a patient’s own doctor knows.
shalafi@lemmy.world 2 days ago
So thankful that vaccine came out! Got genital warts in the 90s, had 'em burned off a couple of times, EXTREMELY painfully. Never passed 'em on, but I would happily have avoided that mess. And fuck me, we had no idea of the cancer risks. Everyone needs that shot.
Also, caught crabs, TWICE, didn’t even get laid. :( Slept in dad’s guest room after his friend was there the previous night, came back on me a month later. Now there’s talk of the little fuckers going extinct!
Still, those vaccines should be free. Your story and numbers make me sad. We could wipe that shit out in a single generation!
ftbd@feddit.org 1 day ago
Check if your insurance refunds the cost. In Germany, it’s only paid directly by the insurance for kids, but many insurances refund a large portion of the cost if you get it before you’re 25-ish.
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Not meaning to be rude with this phrasing, but uh, I am significantly younger than you, born around the time you graduated HS… and yep, I have the same, gut, “this seems weird” reaction.
I was a terribly bashful nerd in the early/mid 2000s, and even I lost my v-card as either a 16 or 17 yo.
cdc.gov/…/YRBS-2023-Data-Summary-Trend-Report.pdf
Thats a drop from half of kids literally fucking around in HS, to just a third, in only the last 10ish years.
I dunno if such data exists going back to when you were in HS, I’d imagine it would have been closer to around 6/10 back then (though thats just a spitball guess), but yeah, the decline has been shocking to me as well.
…
IMO, what is going on that is destroying mental health, and again, I say this as an early tech adopter, tech nerd, had a mySpace account, was one of the first with a Favebook account…
The cause of this is mutlifactorial, general economic decline and precarity are huge factors, but so is our modern social media based digital environment, and how it trains people to act.
Brainrot is a real thing, short form video content reduces attentions spans, makes you more anxious, less confident / have lower self esteem, rapidly propagates mis and disinformation, promotes narcissism and just literally retards rhe development of functional social behaviors.
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 1 day ago
IMO, what is going on that is destroying mental health, and again, I say this as an early tech adopter
i think you forgot a word or more in that sentence
[the internet / social media] literally retards the development of functional social behaviors
I have the same opinion, and i say that the internet takes attention away from functioning social forms of behavior. in other words, the internet feeds off people’s attention, but that reduces inter-human contact too.
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Ok, sorry to double post, I’ve fixed up the original comment more, to hopefully make more sense.
But uh, yeah.
It is really weird to be in the position of having grown up as an awkward tech dork… and now like, I have uncommonly good interpersonal social skills by the standards of many Gen Z, and a lot of Gen A.
It is just a mindfuck.
I realized in about the mid 2010s that algorithmic based content platforms just were pushing the most extreme and outrageous and infuriating kinds of content, because that is the content that best results in user retention…
And when I realized this, I swore off much of it, deleted a bunch of accounts, and highly constrained and curated what was left.
Most other people did not realize this and allowed it to normalize, and now, at least in the US, the result is a largely illiterate, immature, and anti-intellectual society that is highly conspiratorial, and treats all of reality … as if it was a reality tv show.
People call me crazy, but I say that our society has been mass brainwashed, basically mentally neutered, acting increasingly neurotic and violent and irrational.
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 1 day ago
People call me crazy, but I say that our society has been mass brainwashed, basically mentally neutered, acting increasingly neurotic and violent and irrational.
No i’m not calling you crazy, i actually see it the same way. Social Media is a mass brainwashing tool.
The reason why elon musk acquired twitter is because he saw it as an “social engineering” challenge, after having already taken up classical engineering challenges (tesla). the reason is because the rich see it as exactly that: society is a system that can be manipulated and twisted into shape.
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Derp, I did, I am also editing and expanding more to this in realtime, hold please lol.
sobchak@programming.dev 2 days ago
I think the far-right “manosphere” influencers are a good indication at what it does to mental health. Fascism, and extremist groups in general, seem to thrive on men not getting laid. IDK what the cause of this is though; I suppose more digital, less IRL social entertainment. They drink and do less drugs, which could be a reason too (especially drinking).
Zwiebel@feddit.org 2 days ago
I don’t trip, I’m not clumsy like that 😌
socsa@piefed.social 2 days ago
I don't think it's that complicated. In 1989, your average young male hadn't entirely given himself over to fascism. All of this manoshpere shit started right around that 2010-2012 timeframe.
burgerpocalyse@lemmy.world 1 day ago
i get a sense of unease. the vibes have deteriorated to historical lows.
TheOctonaut@mander.xyz 2 days ago
It think that rather than early - really early - exposure to porn turning everyone into sex-fiends, it’s actually terrifying a lot of them. What if I don’t want to gargle cum like Adriana Chechik? What if I don’t have a 10 inch cock to stuff my stepmother with?
A more optimistic reading might be that masturbating is easier, freer, quicker, and more accepted than ever before. Rather than risk an STI, pregnancy or human relationship, just crank one out and get back to work.
Zwiebel@feddit.org 2 days ago
Another hypothesis; The dopamine machine smartphone
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Even the boys I knew in high school already had messed up ideas about sex from porn, and that was 20 years ago.
I never got into visual porn, which made for confusing experiences dating guys who knew little else, in my teens and early 20s. Aside from the obvious confusion that brought to the bedroom about what we were expecting, it was surprising how many guys had perfectly wonderful bodies yet thought they were inadequate. One guy had a 8.5" (47cm) long dick and still thought it wasn’t big enough. I told him, “Dude, you repeatedly stab my cervix. Trust me, you’re big enough.”
It seems that dick insecurity is really common, and that no penis-haver is immune, no matter the size nor what partners tell them.
AlmightyDoorman@kbin.earth 1 day ago
8.5 is 21cm, 47cm would he 18.5 inches. I really hope he didn't have 18.5 inches, that would not stab my cervix but my heart.
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Fixed. I must have hit an extra 1 into the converter.
8baanknexer@lemmy.world 1 day ago
There is something wrong with your unit conversion to cm there. That, or you dated a horse.
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Lmao. Thank you, fixed.