Comment on She's a keeper

• troyunrau@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  This is a real phenomenon. Men are more attractive when they’re already in a relationship.

  There are similar psychological effects that exist elsewhere. A job applicant is more attractive if they currently have a job. A scholarship application is more attractive if you list your existing scholarships. The effect is basically: someone else found you desirable, and therefore I must also.

  The effect is so strong that it encourages people to fake it to gain the benefits.

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  • boonhet@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    You’re also more confident when you’re not looking for anything tbh

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    • bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      That’s especially great with salary negotiations. When you’ve already got a stable job there is nothing to lose from aiming high.

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    • NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I can attest, got out of a long term relationship a while back and have had absolutely no interest in getting involved with anyone to any degree, and I have been getting way more attention than I’m used to. Having no interest, however, just leads to me awkwardly smiling, a moment of silence while they’re waiting for reciprocation, and then me saying, “Thanks. Well, you have yourself a good one!” and scurrying away to play Red Dead 2.

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  • LilB0kChoy@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I must be ugly as sin. My wife and I have been married almost five years and I have yet to be in a situation where a woman is pursuing me and I can shout, “I don’t know you! You’re not my wife!” and run away.

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  • blarghly@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Also the reason for the rock star phenomenon.

    A girl sees a guy with a girlfriend. Girl’s monkeybrain says “she thinks he’s a good bet, so he’s already been vetted, and he’s probably a good bet.”

    Now a girl sees a guy at a party with two girls flirting with him. Now two other girls think he’s a good bet. He must be a good bet.

    Now scale up. One guy is on stage playing the guitar. 3000 women are screaming that they love him. Our girls monkeybrain: “literally thousands of other girls are debasing themselves to be with him - he is the most desireable guy in the world. Quick, scream, get his attention! He’s your perfect soul mate, just make him notice you!”

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    • faythofdragons@slrpnk.net ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Or how employers are more likely to hire you if you’ve already got a job.

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      • GhostedIC@sh.itjust.works ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Real, and even more cruel.

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  • CatDogL0ver@lemmy.world ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Exactly. Some people like things they can’t have. The thrill, the risk.

    Same reason why rich people steal stuff for the thrill.

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• xkbx@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  It’s like when children grab the toys of others. They don’t want to play with the toy, the fact of the toy being possessed is what makes the toy desirable. The grass is always married on the other side of the fence.

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