I’m a woman and I disagree
Comment on Horny🧠
pyre@lemmy.world 1 day ago
i feel this is usually a bigger problem when you have a dick.
MissJinx@lemmy.world 1 day ago
TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
it’s not exactly the same as a full understanding but my transmasc friends labido in the first year of T was much worse than my first year of E (so far atleast)
however my emotion regulation is WAYYYY worse than his was
neither of us would get off HRT for the world though.
macaw_dean_settle@lemmy.world 1 day ago
*at least.
TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
I did that on purpose
pyre@lemmy.world 1 day ago
yeah but now i have two people with reference points to both feminine and masculine hormonal makeup that agree with my assumption so I’m gonna believe them more…
… not because they have unique perspectives but because they reaffirm my previously held beliefs
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
…damn that’s a pretty good reason.
macaw_dean_settle@lemmy.world 1 day ago
No, pyre is correct.
dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
that’s a common belief, but it varies a lot by individual, with many women having higher sex drives than men
pyre@lemmy.world 1 day ago
i actually wasn’t talking about men vs women; i was talking about having a dick vs not, specifically because of having to deal with a boner during the day… but apparently some trans people who start taking T can get overwhelmed with how much it horns them up so i don’t know; maybe it’s anecdotally true even.
other than that I’ve always believed it’s (at least mostly) social conditioning though.
TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
i was talking about having a dick vs not, specifically because of having to deal with a boner during the day…
Actually this is really good place to share the knowledge I’m too embarrassed to share irl!!
I’m trans (MTF) and it doesn’t really happen randomly the same way it did before hormones. The only time I get an erection is when I try to, and even then sometimes it’s difficult 🥲.
You are essentially required* to masturbate 1 or 2 times a week or else the tissue will disintegrate due to not being used, ‘morning wood’ is what the body does naturally to stop this but on Estrogen it doesn’t happen. Some choose to apply testosterone gel to help in this, but it hasn’t been an issue for me.
Also with decreased labido it’s really easy to forget about it and apparently hurts when you do it again which I’m kinda scared of tbh.
*‘required’ is subjective, but it’s not really reversible and also a working penis is ideal for getting bottom surgery and most people want to have good chances for bottom surgery …also sex too lol
dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 hours ago
There are a few clarifications I would like to make:
Having an erection does not require the person to have sex, and is not the same as being horny or desiring sex.
Having a penis does not guarantee you have erections (let alone involuntary erections, which is what you seem to be talking about). People with penises who are testosterone dominant do have involuntary erections, but even so, see my first point for why that’s not relevant.
Your claim was about being horny being a bigger problem for people with penises, which is a fair assumption but has more to do with testosterone than the penis (like you’ve pointed out, trans men can be very horny without a “penis” - though it should be noted here that male and female genitalia are more similar than dissimilar and have the same structures of a phallus and glans, just in different configurations).
so it’s already suggesting that it’s not a myth.
The myth is the belief that men are horny while women are not, the reality is that it varies significantly by person. with significant overlap between the sexes. There is a difference on average, but it’s not as large or total as people commonly believe.
And finally, as you have pointed out the social context will skew the data significantly with fewer women being comfortable with sex than men, fewer women having learned to masturbate than men, and fewer women willing to discuss or disclose their sexual feelings or behavior than men. These differences in how sex is treated socially means whatever biological differences there are is muddled, especially when what was measured was self-reporting on frequency of masturbation. It’s possible that men and women are far more similar than dissimilar than even the current evidence we have points to.
idiomaddict@lemmy.world 1 day ago
It’s very much like height, where it’s correlated, but not restricted to people with lots of testosterone (more relevant than having a dick). And it really sucks being Trijntje Keever.
pyre@lemmy.world 1 day ago
having a dick was more relevant to my point which was about erections
TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
The researchers propose to measure affect in terms of how easily you get aroused when faced with a sexual stimulus or situation. Likewise, behavior involves the frequency of sexual acts. And finally, cognition has to do with how often you think about sex.
that’s actually really interesting that there’s different categories of sex drives
oplkill@lemmy.world 1 day ago
for man its easier and faster to release that horny statement
pyre@lemmy.world 1 day ago
yeah but it’s kinda frowned upon by the people around
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Why? Gets physically in the way? Can’t, like… Do pus–ups?
pyre@lemmy.world 1 day ago
having to deal with a boner when you don’t want it is an annoyance.
henfredemars@infosec.pub 1 day ago
I have a sample size of one trans friend who started taking male hormones and felt it completely overwhelming. He was absolutely astounded by how intense it was for months on end until he felt he built up some mental fortitude.
Clearly, it’s not an ideal comparison, and personal experiences are highly individual but I found their experience interesting.
shneancy@lemmy.world 1 day ago
as another trans guy i can confirm, T took my libido from “mid, horny sometimes” to “I GET HORNY EVERY DAY AND IF I DON’T FIX IT I LITERALLY CANNOT FOCUS”, in the span of like, no time, literally started with the first or injection
acockworkorange@mander.xyz 7 hours ago
I’ve recently had to start hormone replacement. Apparently my T levels were so low I was getting clinically depressed. So I went from half the minimum testosterone levels to slightly above the maximum. Now, I’ve always had a weirdly high libido, and I was afraid I’d have to turn into a recluse. In fact, the opposite happened. I had barely any libido left. I’d jerk off just to test if things even worked, and everything was fine, but it was like I was in constant post-nut clarity. I hated it. I didn’t feel myself anymore, and having focus and clarity while all this shit is happening in the world… Like, the hormones did help with the depression a little bit, but it was offset by the otherness I am feeling.
Anyway, this rambling is my way to relate, in a way. You went through puberty of sorts, and I’m going through a reverse one. I am having to get to know myself again, unsure as to what is happening to my body, and dealing with the occasional zit.
BTW, Instead of injecting T, the doctor attempted (successfully!) to kickstart my internal production with a drug that stimulates FSH production, which, in XY equipped hardware, boosts testosterone production. AMAB bodies normally deal with excess T by converting it to estrogen. To avoid that, another drug that blocked it was added. I found it curious how the same messengers are used by both sexes, sometimes with the same outcome, sometimes with completely different outcomes.
pyre@lemmy.world 1 day ago
welcome to the club my man. don’t get me wrong it can be annoying but I’d rather have a never ending boner for the rest of days than have one period. I’m cis so I’ve never experienced it myself but i have enough women friends (and a wife) to know i wouldn’t want it for a day.
shneancy@lemmy.world 1 day ago
lmao same, dysphoria was the strongest during periods i hated them with a burning passion. T just made them stop, which is amazing.
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Welcome to the party dude, this starts at age 12ish and (so far) never ends.
shneancy@lemmy.world 1 day ago
oh ya dw, i’ve been on T for 7 years now, i have it mostly under control. apart from the times when it just doesn’t seem to be going away, body parts already sore, brain still says horny, those days are– something
idiomaddict@lemmy.world 1 day ago
That’s one of the reasons I’m worried about transitioning. I’m already horny more frequently and intensely than any dude I’ve ever dated. Adding more testosterone to the mix sounds like a bad idea
shneancy@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
perhaps you’re just manifesting the T horny already :D
but for real, if you’re sure of being trans and want most of the effects T brings - i’d say do it. i’m not thrilled about my thinning hair, receding hairline, or the acne v2 (this time harder to get rid of), but the bursts of self-hate cause by dysphoria are completely gone, and that makes being so much easier
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Coukd that just be, like, feeling comfier with your body and general brain soup?
shneancy@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
feeling comfier is certainly making it easier to be horny, but hormones do 90% of the legwork here
stoicmaverick@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I would be fascinated to talk to this person. As a straight cis male dude guy, this is just all day, every day. I’d be like hearing someone describe the sun who’s never been outside before in the whole life.
pyre@lemmy.world 1 day ago
thanks for sharing; it’s wildly interesting! he’s one of a small number of people who can speak for two different modes of physical/hormonal makeup.