snek_boi
@snek_boi@lemmy.ml
- Comment on fidget toys 2 days ago:
Do you know where that image comes from?
- Comment on Finally, a real name for your penis 6 days ago:
Nice try, FBI (which would be “Fun Hard Knob”) or CIA (which would be “Big Bear Wand”)
- Comment on Like seriously, go get some experience first and come back to me kid 6 days ago:
U r edgy
- Comment on is my sister likely to be aroace? we think so but we would like a good starting point to help her on her journey. 1 week ago:
Love your take!
- Comment on can i still consider myself to be a valid asexual? 1 week ago:
Sometimes labels help. Sometimes they don’t.
Also, Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are could help!
- Comment on Nextdoor is pretty wild 1 week ago:
ah gotcha
lol
- Comment on Nextdoor is pretty wild 1 week ago:
Thanks for the explanation. Umm, unfortunately I still don’t get it. For the OP to make sense, can someone explain what’s going on?
- Comment on POV: You are a slop generator being trained on 3000 years of the world's works of fine art 2 weeks ago:
Good shitpost. Banger piece. Am satisfied.
- Comment on Why do some racist, classist, homophobic ect people do "good" things sometimes? 2 weeks ago:
Many comments have alluded to this: people are contextual.
I’ll add to this that thoughts are very, very flexible.
In some contexts we learn to think one way and in other contexts we learn to think in other ways. Our thoughts always get activated by context, either external contexts or internal contexts. For example seeing an apple might have us think we’re hungry if we’re hungry. Or it may make us think we don’t even want to see it if we just ate a lot. Or we might think of our upcoming presentation and that may be the context for the thought “I’m not prepared enough”.
Not only are thoughts contextual, but they behave in interesting ways. Often, we transfer thoughts from one context to another context. If we think “I’m never prepared for presentations”, we might end up reinforcing ideas like “I’m never prepared [in general]”. We may end up thinking we’re never prepared for dinner with friends or for tough conversations with loved ones.
Another critical feature of thoughts is that we can even change the role thoughts have in our behavior. For example, the thought “I’m not prepared enough for my presentation” may be seen as a literal truth. Or it could be seen as a thought and just a thought. In other words, thoughts can sometimes be taken literally and we can be fused with them or we can look at them from a distance.
These three examples illustrate my point: thoughts are ridiculously flexible.
This flexibility is what explains the phenomena you notice. That is how we end up with a capitalist who may have strong thoughts about family and may stop focusing on profit-maximization when their employee’s daughter die. That is how we end up with a worker who could have strong thoughts about profits and may stop focusing on solidarity with his peers when a promotion is offered.
My perspective comes from contextual behavioral science and relational frame theory.
- Comment on How do you fight abandonment issues when people keep abandoning you 3 weeks ago:
In your experience, does fighting the feelings help? Answer not using your logic, but your felt experience.
Odds are, fighting doesn’t help. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here asking for help.
You hurt because you care. You care about belonging, about contributing, about being open to others. And, since you care about this, you hurt.
We can’t get rid of this kind of hurt. Would you even want to? Would you want to be indifferent to other people?
I’m not trying to be mean or brutal. I’m just trying to a place where this hurt is a meaningful part of your life and not something you keep fighting (and failing to defeat).
So what can you do? You could notice your thoughts as thoughts. You can try giving your brain a name and thanking it for informing you about the things it informs you throughout the day. This doesn’t make thoughts disappear, but it helps seeing them as thoughts and not reality.
You can also imagine that you carry your sensations, memories, moods, thoughts, images, etc. in your hands, as if you were carrying a delicate flower. This is a way to honor your life without running a way from it and also without being entirely determined by it.
Finally, you can ask yourself what kind of person you want to be, what you stand for. What are the qualities of being that you would like to adopt in your life? You can discover this intuitively by wondering what you care for. If rejection hurts, you likely value inclusion. If abandonment hurts, you likely value consistency and kindness.
The task the becomes accepting our current reality (thanking our brain for its suggestions and holding our whole life experience preciously) and taking our next step with the qualities of being that we value.
If you’re curious about this perspective, let me know and I can tell you more about it :)
- Comment on Anti-Brexit protesters in front of the Big Ben. 3 weeks ago:
Made a bet with a friend that the UK would be back before 2035. So I’m happy when I see a picture like this one. I need those tacos.
- Comment on Okay... so how do depressed people even have relationships? Did they get depresion after they already got into the relationship or did they actually went dating while having depression? 3 weeks ago:
Depression has lots of ways of manifesting.
One way of describing depression is an unwillingness to engage with life and to feel, because the person has learned that engaging or feeling will lead to pain. This is the functional contextual definition.
Another one comes from Martin Seligman, who defines it as an unwillingness to try things because the person has learned that engaging in something will lead to failure.
In either definition, the unwillingness is contextual. In other words, someone might be depressed regarding work but not their partner. Or someone might be depressed regarding their family but not their partner.
- Comment on is it really worth it 4 weeks ago:
Is it really worth it?Image
- Comment on is it really worth it 4 weeks ago:
- Comment on Avocado. Is it really so untasty or I am doing something wrong? 1 month ago:
Just so you know, you’re not alone. When avocados have been introduced to new markets (like the USA some time ago), people need to learn how to engage with it. People need to learn how to buy it, how to open it, how to include it in foods.
And, as you’ve heard, indeed it’s not meant to be sweet and instead it’s just like fat. And it’s very healthy fat.
I agree with what someone else said: I’d try making a simple guacamole recipe and eating the guacamole with nachos or tortillas or something like that!
Also, as someone else said, it’s totally fair if you don’t like guacamole. Some people don’t and it’s alright :)
- Comment on Attention! 1 month ago:
I like how they’re ”already” tracking me. I’m still trying to understand how the meaning changes with and without the quotations, but it certainly feels important or something
- Comment on telepathy 1 month ago:
Idk. Looks kinda painful ngl
- Comment on [deleted] 2 months ago:
Or prion diseases or parasites that invade brains.
- Comment on [deleted] 2 months ago:
Trying to figure out what post belongs where, I do think your post belongs in this community.
You didn’t break any rules.
And you posted shit (Trump) in the shit post community.
As usual, I think everything is politics and nothing is not politics. We’re always deciding what deserves attention and what not, what identities to bolster or forget, what worldviews we bolster and which we forget.
So in general I think the division between “politics” and “non-politics” is a bit like the difference between “things that can be thought of” and “things that can’t be thought of”. Everything belongs in the first category and nothing belongs in the second.
I think the more important discussion is whether your post was a shit post. And I totally see it as one.
- Comment on Anyone has videos of JD Vance getting booed? I can’t find proper booing videos, but those supposedly exist 2 months ago:
Thanks for the link. Unfortunately, in that video it’s not clear to me that those are boos. Maybe I’m missing something.
- Submitted 2 months ago to [deleted] | 22 comments
- Comment on He/him 2 months ago:
Thanks for the catch! Fixed!
- Comment on He/him 2 months ago:
Ada’s man speaks like this. Ada’s man has no pronouns. Ada’s man gave up pronouns ever since becoming Ada’s man.
At first it felt manly. After all, Ada’s man was next to Ada. And Ada only let men next to Ada.
Still, Ada’s man thinks it’s kinda weird to not be able to use pronouns.
In fact, Ada’s man sorta regrets the whole thing.
Ada’s man is often made fun of. Ada’s man has heard he speaks like cavemen. Ada’s man often feels dumb and excluded.
The worst part is work. Ada’s man had to intervene at work. Ada’s man had to redact reports at work, removing all pronouns. This made Ada’s man feel humiliated. Ada’s man was made fun of by coworkers, bosses, and customers. The caveman comment was repeated again and again.
However, over time, Ada’s man was accepted. Why? To start with, Ada’s man was a good worker. But more importantly, they (the coworkers) felt Ada’s man was in a toxic relationship with Ada. They knew Ada from Ada’s man and from Ada’s social media. And Ada sounded like an absolute pile of garbage.
Over time, the cavemen comments stopped. They referred to Ada’s man as Ada’s man. And they saw Ada’s man with pity. They just hope someday Ada’s man would be unshackled from Ada’s man’s Ada.
Months went by. Ada’s man felt the weight on Ada’s man’s shoulders. This didn’t feel like a good way to live. But Ada’s man is a man, and Ada’s man wants to be with Ada. It’s just that Ada’s man wonders if there could be a different way.
- Comment on Anon is a nice guy 2 months ago:
This kid should read Mitch Prinstein’s work. Bottom line: high-status people have worse lives, while likeable people have better lives.
- Comment on Vimeo Lays Off 'Most' of Its Staff, Allegedly Includes 'the Entire Video Team' 2 months ago:
Dropout uses Vimeo?
- Comment on [deleted] 2 months ago:
Some recommendations that have changed my life and many others’:
- Learn to WOOP, by Gabrielle Oettingen
- Learn about the Procrastination Equation and CSI-Approach, by Piers Steel
- Read and internalize A Liberated Mind by Steven C. Hayes
With what you described, some ACT values work may help.
Please let me know if you have questions :)
- Comment on how to dust properly 2 months ago:
Static is your friend.
Buy microfiber dusters and mops. Buy a couple and see if it’s enough. You want to always have clean ones available. So buy more than what you need for a single cleaning session.
For carpets, you can get a sweeper. They also use static and they’re fantastic.
- Comment on Why are fruits and berries healthy, even though they are mostly just sugar? 6 months ago:
Fiber. Fiber helps you feel full, so it is harder to over-eat fruit in comparison with chocolate bars, gummy bears, or even fruit juice.
- Comment on find 6 months ago:
So moving 😢 I’m at a loss of words
- Comment on What is a good source to read about thought experiments? 6 months ago:
To frame thought experiments and their limitations, Dave Snowden’s Cynefin and perhaps works on pragmatism, contextual functionalism, and relational frame theory, books like ACT in Context.
Now, as to thought experiments, there’s Daniel Dennet’s Intuition Pumps.
This is tangential, but maybe you’d be interested in George Lakoff’s framing. Lakoff would argue that frames are at least sometimes exactly the same thing as a thought experiment.
